Mother Stories
Go Deep With Actress/Mama Alysia Reiner, Star of the New Movie “Egg”
Written by Erin Feher
Photography by Photographed by Heather Moore
Feb 5, 2019
Actress, activist, and mama Alysia Reiner is having something of an art-imitates-life moment. Not that her reality in any way resembles that of her latest character: a self-important artist having a child via surrogate as part of an elaborate art project. But she insists that the pressures, assumptions, judgements, and connections portrayed in Egg (which was released in theaters January 18 and is currently streaming on iTunes and Amazon) were all things she related to deeply. Alysia co-stars with Christina Hendricks, who plays a old art-school friend who has taken up a more traditional suburban existence, and is blissfully pregnant herself. The movie follows the dramatic reunion of the two expecting women over a single drawn-out dinner party. In real life, Alysia, who is also known for her role as Fig, the heartless prison executive on Orange is the New Black, is a loving and supportive mom to future engineer Liv, age 10. She takes us on a tour of her renovated Brownstone in Harlem and talks about why Egg is feminist AF.
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- “It was abandoned and just a shell when we found it! There were no windows, no front door, no interior walls, no electric, no plumbing, and only half a roof. We found it when I was shooting the film Sideways.”
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- “Warm, Zen, and eco-minimalist. Marie Kondo would be proud!”
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- “Um, yeah! There was nothing here before. You can see our web series about it on Dwell.”
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“It’s about simple, timeless style chosen with deep meaning, heart, and love.”
Alysia wears a Shoshanna dress. Liv wears a Pouncing Tigers uniform.
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- “We collaborated with the set designer Gus Deardoff who created a magical space for her to express her creativity and her love of books. She also loves volcanoes, and has since she was tiny, so we used that as a decor theme.”
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- “Being present to the mystery of it. Being willing to dive into the unknown. For example, I have never been in this very moment before: On a Saturday with a 10-year-old building a Rube Goldberg machine and answering questions about motherhood.” One of the family's favorite tomes: Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls 2.
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- “Feeling not good enough and the fear of any bodily harm coming to my daughter. I feel so out of control about these things, it’s as if my heart is outside of my body.”
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- “I love how in this moment we are breaking so many paradigms about what is possible for young women to do, and her being part of proving that! We chose not to know the sex of our baby ahead of time—surprise!”
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- “Livia is a combo of ‘Olivia’ (I played her in 12th Night, which is when I met my husband) and ‘Lillian,’ who was David’s grandmother."
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- “She’s 10, and loves creating her own structures, making collages, building anything wooden, sewing, and, yes, creating Rube Goldberg machines.”
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- “I’m an actress, producer, and creator.”
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“It made me want to create more opportunity for women and tell great stories about women, because as I learned working with the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media, women are not accurately portrayed in media and it’s taking a huge toll on our youth.”
Alysia wears a Shoshanna dress. Liv wears a Tucker dress.
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- “Egg is an unflinching comedy about why we choose motherhood, why we revere it or fear it or delegate it, and why some women choose to forgo it. Two couples and a surrogate lay bare the complications, contradictions, heartbreak, and absurdities implicit in how we think about motherhood. I loved the story because it was a lot of things I had thought but felt people we afraid to talk about.”
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- “In this moment—with all the noise from social media politically and personally—I feel passionate about the power of simply listening to a friend who has a different opinion, and holding space for that without judgement.”
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- “I love this film because I relate to them all at different times.”
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- “It’s my hope that people take away from the film that happiness is really the courage to be deeply curious and committed to what makes you personally happy, and to not fall into any other societal norm or pressure. And that happiness is unique to every human. Also that we have no clue what makes anybody else happy. If I can bring those messages to people in a meaningful way, and maybe make them laugh a little bit, too, that would bring me outrageous joy.”
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- “You will feel like you are doing it wrong. You are not, I promise. Breathe, listen to your child, and learn.”
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- “Yes, but I was so afraid of doing it wrong.”
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- “So easy, thank god!”
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- “Nope, I started work seven weeks after she was born.”
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- “There is no such thing as work-life balance. Just do one thing at a time and be present doing it.”
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- “She loves coming to set and meeting people, but most of my work she can’t see because it’s too mature. So, I'm thrilled that I am now one of the voices on Butterbean’s Cafe, a super popular new Nickelodeon cartoon, because she can watch that, even if it’s a bit young for her!”
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- “I don't know a mom who doesn’t. It helps to talk to other moms, share war stories and solutions. I talk to my kid about those feelings now that she’s old enough. I express that I want to be with her 100 percent of the time, but I also love my work and it brings me esteem and...sometimes it’s just complicated.”
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- A peek inside the guest bedroom.
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- “All my momma friends! Melanie, Maddie, Deborah, Amy, Ashley, and Catherine are on speed dial.”
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- “My mom lived in NYC when Liv was younger and now we have a bunch of friends who help and a few sitters. My husband and I co-parent and having a true partner makes my life livable.”
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- “The first floor of our home is loft style with an open living room, dining room, and kitchen. We wanted it to flow so that you can talk to friends and family through the whole space, but each area is also unique. The living area is warm and cozy, made for snuggles.”
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- As she said, made for snuggles.
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- “On the first floor, that would be the art. I love our art collection—particularly the Rauschenberg my husband just bought me for our anniversary! On the second floor, the book nook is heaven, and it’s so quiet that I can also record voice overs in there.”
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- “Liv is 10, so it’s her job to keep it corralled, but we have great storage spaces in the living room, playroom, and her bedroom to make that easy.”
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- “Everything! Culture, diversity, her school, our neighborhood, our treehouse! Liv says, ‘I really like the noise, because it’s never boring! I also like the weather because you get a real summer, winter, and everything in between.’”
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- “Sure—we as a family are always open to adventure. Give me a movie in Timbuktu and we are there.”
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- “We love Marcus Garvey Park, Central Park, the public libraries, and of course Sugar Hill Creamery and Lenox Coffee.”
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- “My kid is first. Period.”
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- “I try to give her a lot of space to explore, be creative, wonder, and be her own human. But also we set specific boundaries so she feels safe in the world, and understands that every choice has a consequence.”
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- “I work out every day, it’s my therapy. I love to sweat! I also mediate and use a foam roller daily, and love Shape House and Zeel Massage, too.”
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"I can't! It's just what I love?"
Alysia wears a Shoshanna dress. Liv wears a Pouncing Tigers uniform.
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- “I live for a jumpsuit. And I have too many favorites to chose! I love fashion—it’s wearable art and a lot of my friends are designers, so I love wearing their art.”
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- “No, I don’t think so.”
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- “It’s all about face oil, right now I’m using one from Vapour. When I wake, I don’t wash, I just use face oil and a CC cream. I love Juice Beauty’s Stem Cellular because it has SPF. In the shower I use a dry brush and loofah with BRÖÖ Barber Shower Session Wash—in these NY winters I’m all about buh-bye dry! Nighttime is when I really go fot it: First I wash and scrub with Acure, then it’s Rosewater Toner from Jurlique, followed by Skinceutical's Vitamin C and B drops and a spin with my rose quartz roller, and finally Évolué Time Reverse Serum!”
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“I am more of an activist than ever, as I feel that women and the environment are endangered species in our current administration.”
Alysia wears a Rockets of Awesome jacket, Lezé the Label pants, No. 6 boots, Fynn Happy Lens glasses. Liv wears Rockets of Awesome jacket, Side Hustle Denim jeans, Bunnyeyez sunglasses.
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- “I don’t really think about it, but I guess I just try to be the best me that I can be, and be true to myself as much as possible. I strive to find joy in it all, to wonder, be curious and kind, not ‘know’ everything, but keep an open mind and keep questioning.” For more on Alysia, her activism, and acting career, follow her on Instagram.
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