Quoted: Amy Poehler And Tina Fey

Written by

Katherine Oakes

12:00 pm

Photo Via Today

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler aren’t just the uber-talented and hilarious dynamic duo that the world loves and knows them as, they are also dedicated mothers who speak as fearlessly about changing diapers as they do about wearing Spanx to award shows. So, what do they have to say about raising kids? Well, as you might have guessed, they’ve got some sage advice for all the hard-working mamas out there—and a few choice words for the people who doubt whether or not that they can do it all. Here, a special double-dose of Quoted.

Tina Fey:
“‘How do you juggle it all?’ people constantly ask me, with an accusatory look in their eyes. ‘You’re screwing it all up, aren’t you?’ their eyes say. My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.”

“I think every working mom probably feels the same thing which is you go through big chunks of time where you’re just going ‘this is impossible—oh this is impossible.’ And then you just keep going and keep going and you sort of do the impossible.”

“I know for sure that you can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at. I know for sure that a hard-boiled egg is two points on Weight Watchers. I know for sure that my kid needs my husband and me to be with her more.”

“I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement.”

“You’re just like a human napkin for kids, like, they just wipe their face on you and stuff.”

“Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.”

Amy Poehler:
“Always remember your kid’s name. Always remember where you put your kid. Don’t let your kid drive until their feet can reach the pedals. Use the right size diapers…for yourself. And, when in doubt, make funny faces.”

“When you are pregnant you can get away with a lot of shit. Women really are at their most dangerous during this time. Your hormones are telling you that you are strong and sexy, everyone is scared of you, and you have a built-in sidekick who might come out at any minute.”

“It’s a wonderful day when your child gets old enough to be bribed. It’s a whole new tool in your arsenal.”

“I love my boys so much I fear my heart will explode. I wonder if this love will crack open my chest and split me in half. It is scary, this love.”

“Sleep at this point is just a concept, something I’m looking forward to investigating in the future.”

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