"We went through a few years where renting in NYC dragged us. We went from one bad landlord to the next until the last one, the worst one, whose house was full of lead and asbestos which she refused to stop doing renovations around, landed us covered in lead dust and ultimately in housing court. She was really nasty and did some horribly dangerous things. Her father funded her situation and her lawyer bill, so we were basically at the mercy of the court system in Brooklyn, which is overloaded with cases. It was a complete nightmare. The whole situation dragged on forever and soured us on NYC. We decided to build a house out here in Long Island where it’s cheaper and we didn’t have to worry about school in the same way or landlords."

"We were in Brooklyn, we kept having to move and because of that we were in Ditmas Park, about 30 minutes from the city on the express train. We figured we’d move close to where my husband grew up so that we could buy something. He loves the water and being close to the beach was something that helped us decide to move out of the city. We can spend a few hours at the beach and have a full day doing other stuff. With traffic that wasn’t always possible in Brooklyn. We wanted to slow down a bit and still be able to get to the city for the day if we wanted to."

"The pros are easy—more space, slower pace, less of a hassle trying to sort out school options for our son, we are close to the water (we have water at the end of our block), and we were able to build a house, which was not an option for us in NYC. Hell, buying in the city wasn’t an option either, not the type of place we wanted anyway. The move didn’t come without its cons. We decided to move out here before the election. Then, as election day approached, we started noticing a lot of strong conservative signs and bumper stickers, a group of people standing around with signs on the weekends for some interesting nationalistic, anti-BLM, anti-women rights, etc., issues. I’ve also had some issues with the school and my son. The school-to-prison pipeline is real. There’s just a very aggressive pushing of a certain agenda out here through flags, bumper stickers, and lawn signs. It’s caused us to really get our kids around our friends from the city as much as possible. It’s interesting, I moved to NY from the South and I’ve lived here for 18 years and I never knew how conservative and even racist the areas around the city are. There are instances where it’s very similar to what you think of the South being, but with a little aggressive NY umph on top."

"My husband loves studying interiors and he’s done a little work designing retail spaces in NYC and writing about interior decor. He has written for Remodelista and GQ before we got too busy and he let his dream go to make sure we were financially stable. He completely designed this house. We wanted the house to be bright and have classic and modern finishes and he did a great job. I mainly helped with the general contracting part of the process. Making sure subcontractors showed up and followed up if they didn’t, ordered materials, and checked up on everyone’s work, so I can’t take credit for how the house looks. It’s all Myles. He’s incredible."

"I’m super practical. I need things to be efficient, because there is always so much going on and I’m solo with both kids a lot. My husband sometimes gets carried away with design and when we’re old and the house is empty again, we can do all of those things that are delicate and dangerous, but for now my philosophy is design that’s practical and functions well with two kids."

"My favorite part of her room is how clean it stays, because she doesn’t sleep in there yet! I had the cutest little bassinet that she outgrew in less than a month, so we bought a pack and play. I tried to avoid buying one of those things because they are usually eyesores, but it’s been a life saver! I went crazy nesting and nagging my husband to get her room done and 10 months in and she’s still sleeping in our room...oops! We’d moved Henry into his own room by the time he was 10 months old, but maybe because she’s the last one I’m waiting a little longer before I let her go."

Lindsey wears an American Apparel top, Maison Margiela culottes, and Virgil Abloh x Nike Vapormax sneakers. Amel wears H&M.

Amel's bookshelf, from left to right: A is for Activist, My Friends, The Napping House, Love Is, Whose Toes Are Those?, Rad American Women A-Z, The Black BCs, and Fox in Socks.

"Every room is a play room, I just do a clean up at the end of the day as part of winding down before bedtime. Henry is old enough that he helps with his stuff, too. I think it helps him understand how to be responsible for his stuff. Somehow he still asks me where all of his toys are even though he has to put them all away every night!"

"His room is fun, it has the same simple design. It’s mostly furnished with plywood furniture and his toys are really the decor. We have his bed against the wall so he can shoot hoops or build huge structures out of Legos or the boxes and things he pilfers from the recycling bag. He has a desk where he does all of his art or reads. His room faces the street, which isn’t that busy, but Henry, in his usual honest way, told me that he sits in the window at night after I tuck him in and watches for things going by."

"I love being a mom! It’s so exciting to get a re-do on life. I love getting to show them stuff for the first time and then spending time together learning about those experiences. Henry is naturally very curious, so we delve deep into the answers about everything from why cauliflower isn’t called ghost broccoli to where the tooth fairy lives. He renames everything—Sour Patch Kids are called Sweedish Men, Nutella is Beezlenut Stew (he was reading a lot of Horton Hears a Who at the time, Hazlenut/Beezlenut). His brutal honesty keeps us laughing. He told my husband very sternly at breakfast one morning, 'You and I have to listen to mommy because she’s the oldest.' When he was a lot younger he told my husband he had a long lizard neck. You really have to have thick skin to survive around here, but it keeps us on our toes and laughing."

"Everything! I try to keep it at bay and not make them nervous like me, but the world is kind of crazy right now and I do worry about a lot of things my kids will have to deal with. I can’t even pinpoint one issue anymore. It feels like the world is devolving into madness sometimes. I just try to do my best to keep my kids feeling safe and happy and allow them to be kids for now. That’s part of the reason why we wanted to slow things down for ourselves and come out here to Long Island. We wanted to be able to breathe and be mentally able to deal with everything better. Our situation living in the city had taken its toll on us and our ends were frayed."

"I didn’t really care that much either way. I kind of wanted a girl since we’d already had a boy, but I really just wanted a healthy baby. We kept it a surprise until her birth. I thought I was going to really get into dressing her up, but I was never a girly girl myself, so it feels weird to put her in headbands and lace and tulle. If that’s what she wants later that may change."

"Henry is 6. He loves reading. He’s really into Plants Vs. Zombies, Captain Underpants, and Pokémon books. He also loves Legos and writing his own comics. He sings all the time, too, while doing everything. Amel is 10 months old and she’s into cruising, teething, clapping, waving, and Baby Mum Mum."

"Henry Jason is my son. Henry is a family name on my husband’s side. Jason is my cousin’s name. He was like my brother. Amel Viola is our daughter. Amel means hope, and we just liked the name more than the meaning and it’s pretty uncommon. Viola is my father’s mother’s name."

"I absolutely did not want to be a mother. Then I met my husband and I was so in love. I knew I wanted to have babies with him. So, then I just wanted to have one child! Then when Henry turned about 4 I started to want a second. He was so amazing and fun and I wanted to have another person just like him to hang out with. I am not a big fan of the infant stage, but once they start talking and saying crazy stuff, it’s really what I enjoy most."

"During my first pregnancy I felt great, I was working and busy, and then a few months before my due date at a normal visit with my midwives they sent me to the hospital with signs of preeclampsia. I was admitted and induced and once I started having contractions, Henry was born soon after—before they could get me the epidural. In the hospital I was refused water or food because of the possibility of an emergency C-section. So, the morning Henry was born I was going through the hospital paperwork and watching the mandatory films on baby CPR and fainted. Then, because I hadn’t had water in over 24 hours I didn’t need to pee, so they catheterized me. I felt it was unnecessary, but I was so out of it that I didn’t have the wherewithal to argue about it. That experience was enough for me to want to do a home birth for my second. So, with Amel I found two amazing midwives and we had her at home with zero issues except for some back pain during the pregnancy. Both babies were healthy as was I in the end so...I wouldn’t change either one."

"I’m a freelancer and my husband is a business owner, so we took a little time but not a ton. If we don’t work, we don’t get paid. We’d just built a house and we didn’t have a ton of savings, so we got back to work pretty soon after the babies. I took Amel with me to DJ Afropunk at 1 month old."

"I really leaned hard on my midwives for almost all advice. They are so wonderful and generous with their time. They really put me at ease with just about everything. I look at KellyMom.com for breastfeeding questions. Otherwise, I tried to stay off the internet because Dr. Google is crazy! He’ll have you thinking your baby has all types of diseases and disorders!"

"Music is always playing in the house. We show Henry lots of music videos and he’s around our friends who are DJs and musicians a good amount, too. I sometimes work on music, so I use him as the voice for sampling or for mixtape drops. He takes a breakdancing class that he loves, so he uses any excuse to show off his moves. He has a toy keyboard that he can record songs onto, as well. We really encourage him to express himself in that way because we value the arts ourselves and we want him to be exposed to them as much as we can, especially because his school pushes academics way more than the 'specials' like art and music."

"The biggest challenge has been just trying to keep organized. My work requires me to keep current on new music and venues in the city. I can’t get into the city like I used to, so my career has suffered a bit, but it’s hopefully something I can return to when Amel is older. My husband opened his second business a couple of weeks after Amel was born, so I was alone with both kids a lot during the early stages of getting the business off the ground. My mom was here a lot, but the days where it was just me and two kids was extremely difficult. There isn’t much food delivery where we live, so it’s grueling just feeding myself and the kids, keeping the refrigerator stocked, doing homework, doing my own work, cleaning house, and just, like showering and washing my hair! Juggling all of this stuff is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do."

Lindsey wears a vintage t-shirt, vintage leather skirt, and Nike Vandal Double Stack sneakers.

"My parents were strict, I didn’t get to do a lot of sleepovers or anything besides being outside. I was a big tomboy, I loved bugs and biking around my neighborhood, but I couldn’t go further than my parents’ voices could carry. If they called me and I couldn’t hear them, I went too far. I was also warned not to let the street lights catch me. We moved around a lot, so I was constantly having to adapt to new situations, climates, demographics, and be able to make friends quickly. My mom and dad always had music playing in the house, and they liked everything from Funkadelic, Stevie Wonder, Carole King, Led Zeppelin, Chaka Khan, Dennis Brown, Barrington Levy, Freddie McGregor, etc. I was a latchkey kid, I watched a ton of TV after school until my parents got home from work. My brain is chockfull of useless pop culture references. It’s scary and firmly where I place the blame for being all out of ram. I can’t tell you when my next meeting is without checking my calendar and double checking my email archive to be sure I entered it right. But I can sing all the words to the theme song to the Punky Brewster cartoon!"

"Their default education will be nearly all-white American based. The first thing Henry brought home from school in kindergarten was a booklet on how Christopher Columbus discovered America. So, I make it a point to teach Henry about as much African and African American culture as I can, and when they’re ready, the honest American history that they probably won’t learn in school. I feel that having pride in who they are comes from the knowledge of how we all got here. As a young girl I spent a lot of time code switching and distancing myself from blackness and I can’t explain the relief and freedom I feel now that I embrace what for so long people told me was 'ghetto' or 'urban' or called speaking 'ebonics' or 'talking black.' I now recognize that black culture is pop culture, African American Vernacular English is a dialect and it’s complex and has rules just like any other dialect and it’s part of the English language. I don’t want them to feel like they have to shy away from that like I did."

"The issues that concern me most have always been issues, they’ve only been brought into the light for folks who don’t experience them first hand by this current administration. As a mother, the feeling of fear has only been increased. I’ve also been more actively trying to figure out what exactly I can actually do besides complain about these issues. I am educating myself more on things because I don’t feel like we can rely on the public school system to teach them the complexities a lot of political issues have. I just want them to be good people and also be able to speak up for themselves when faced with biased information. I never had that and it was always frustrating for me growing up in white spaces when faced with someone who spouted ignorant defenses for bigotry."

"The styles of me and my husband are very similar. We discuss everything and at times we may disagree, but we usually sort things out pretty quickly. We just want our kids to be kids, we’re not trying to be their friends, and we give them responsibilities early so that they hopefully are good people and able to function out in the world without us."

"Take lots of naps and enjoy this time where it’s all about you."

"Ask for help when you need it. Spend lots of time with your older kid, because in the first few months with the new baby it’s hard to get in that quality time."

"Haha, nope!"

"I’m a DJ. I’ve been a DJ since the late ‘90s—disclaimer for authenticity’s sake. I ain’t no fly by night, I’m an OG!"

"I moved around a lot. I was born in St. Louis, moved to Phoenix, then Atlanta, then NY. My mom worked in corporate America and the companies she worked for would promote her, but in order to also get the pay along with the job she was already doing, they would ask her to move."

That mama love.

"It’s been quite a challenge being a mother and a DJ. Working until 4 a.m. is not conducive to baby sleep schedules. Working in bars isn’t conducive to pumping my breasts. I spend a lot of time in my car pumping my breasts while people walk past me. Everyone is a DJ, so it’s also difficult to compete with the social media needs that this job requires. Fortunately for me, I have made some great relationships with companies over the years. I have been able to survive off of corporate gigs that happen earlier in the evenings. It hasn’t been easy, but I think every mother has to make some adjustments when it comes to career and I feel so lucky to be able to spend the amount of time I do with my kids."

"I am constantly feeling guilty, especially as Henry gets older and Amel becomes more mobile. I am always watching her and he’s left to play alone or do baby stuff together. It’s always what Amel wants to do and I'm constantly interrupted to change diapers or cook or to sooth her if she gets upset. As you can see, we didn’t really baby proof the house. During the day we cordon off an area and we sit there together and play and I try to get work done when she’s particularly focused on something. Even that makes me feel guilty when she looks over at me and makes a noise to get my attention and I’m looking at my laptop or listening to some explicit song trying to prepare for a gig and I hope that my baby’s first word isn’t 'fuck' or something! I just remind myself that I am home with her and I am able to because of what I do. Some moms have to go in to an office every day and so just being here caring for her is a good thing. I hope!"

"It’s very important. I think about it all of the time. I never want them to let anyone tell them they are less than for any reason. They have to be strong people—despite their probable ability to pass as some ambiguous race—to succeed in this world if it keeps moving in the direction it’s going in. I want them to be empowered and proud of who they are."

"Owning a business—just like motherhood—means that your schedule is ever changing. Something or someone (or everything at once) is always in need of your attention, so just be ready to be flexible and to find your groove. Give yourself some slack and allow people to help you. Which may mean you have to be flexible on some of your rules for your kids about things like screen time and food choices."

"I don’t play a lot of records anymore, it’s just not something that is necessary and a lot of artists don’t press up vinyl anymore, so it’s difficult to play a vinyl set when I want to play new music. I just can’t let go of them after all of the hours I spent collecting them and for the rare remixes that exist on some of the 12” I have that aren’t available digitally. Henry has a tiny collection of storybook records that I had when I was a kid. My favorite being the Three Little Pigs narrated by Sterling Holloway. It’s fun and this one doesn’t have a book attached, so it requires him to use his imagination while listening to the story. I let him listen on the portable Fisher Price record player I used to use when digging for records."

"We try to have friends out here as much as we can. We make playlists, but it’s too involved to keep up with records while entertaining. When one side ends you have to stop and flip it over or choose another record to play and I like to spend as much time with our friends when they trek all the way out here to visit us. We like mellow stuff that’s part of the background rather than anything too noisy. Myles keeps playlists handy all the time, so he just puts them on all the time and builds on them. He uses them at the businesses, so they serve two purposes."

"I like some of the conveniences that we wished for when we lived in NYC. We have a big backyard, I drive to get groceries for the week, and I have space in my kitchen for all of the things that I need. It doesn’t seem like a big deal, but with my oldest’s social calendar, my work, and the baby, little things like that make a big difference. My husband works long hours, so I spend a lot of time alone with both. Having a house also makes it easier for my parents to come stay and help with the kids."

"Yes, definitely."

"I haven’t really needed much help until the new business opened, so my mom has really been the MVP. She’s retired and she comes for about a month at a time and just makes life so much easier. When she’s not here, we kind of shuffle work stuff around so one of us is available while the other works. Usually I am with the kids because my husband's business is so demanding."

"I enjoy taking the kids to the beach."

"I like to keep it simple and comfortable. I can stray from that depending on my mood and give you a trendy look, but for the most part I will choose a pair of vintage jeans and a t-shirt over anything else."

Lindsey wears a boiler suit by Mademe and Nike Air Vapormax Plus sneakers. Amel wears an H&M onesie. Henry wears Gap.

"A little, but not much. I am still breastfeeding, so I have to wear stuff that allows easy access for nursing Amel. I avoid anything too expensive that I don’t want to be ruined by nursing or diaper changes or flying baby food, depending on the day, but other than that it’s about the same."

"I love vintage. I rarely wear designer stuff. I really live in vintage Levi's or Wrangler jeans or cut-offs and t-shirts. I worked for Opening Ceremony for a while, so when I do splurge I will go there and get something. I have a lot of Nike and Converse sneakers for comfort."

"I’m really not that big of a sneaker head, it’s all function for me. I used to wear white Keds with everything, but I was tossing them way too much and it felt wasteful. I also need more support as I age, so I swapped to wearing almost all Nikes. My husband used to be into sneakers when he was younger and he’s hoarded his collection and added to it here and there, but for me it’s comfort over everything else. He’s definitely influenced me and from time to time will suggest shoes I should buy. Being a DJ has its perks and I do get gifted things, as well. The more I get, the more I get into them, but it’s not too crazy."

"I do as much as I can in the shower. I use Kiehl’s Ultra Facial Cleanser, Kiehl’s Pineapple Papaya Scrub, I use Savon de Marseille olive oil soap, and I wash my hair using Devacurl No Poo Decadence and Hair Rules Quench Conditioner. I use Kiehl’s Calendula Toner on days when I wear make up, Kiehl’s Hydro Plumping Serum in the morning, and Kiehl’s Midnight Recovery at night. I use my mom’s homemade whipped shea butter on my body."

"I had diastasis recti after both pregnancies, so I took classes with Lisa Shoenholt at Brooklyn Embodied after both babies and she closed my diastasis both times in just a few months. I try to do some meditation before bed to help me sleep, but Amel is still waking up quite a bit, so I just force myself to go to bed soon after she does and get in as much sleep as possible. I drink a ridiculous amount of water and eat a ton of fruit and vegetables every day. I skip sugar for most of the day, minus my morning cup of coffee. Thanks to my husband, I scaled back my work schedule a lot during my pregnancy with Amel and I really feel like that has helped my body recover much faster and I am really enjoying her. When Henry was an infant I was expecting to be able to do the things I did before he was born and so it was a slow and difficult transition. I knew this time around I needed to change my expectations and it’s been really nice."

"My husband and his cousin started a new business and we had a new baby at the same time, so finding time of our own has been the one big challenge we’ve faced. I have been working more and more in the past couple of months and my husband works a lot, too, so when he’s off it’s usually so I can work and then when I’m home he’s working and I have the kids. All week I compile a list of stuff we need to do or schedule things we need to do together on the day we’re all off. When I do have a little time, I love to just catch up on new music and that’s something that’s hard to do with a 6-year-old around when I’m unsure about the lyrical content. I love to do my radio show at The Lot. I kind of take the day to go in, see some friends, do my show, eat a good meal, and maybe shop a little before I go back home."

"My husband and I are in the process of simplifying. We just want to make life way more chill for ourselves and spend more time with our kids while they’re still young and want to hang out with us. We both put our heads down and started working so hard trying to set ourselves up that we looked up one day and realized that we hadn’t taken a vacation in years. I’m looking forward to the new fresh start we’re planning, because our kids are awesome and the past few years have been tough on all of us."

For more on Lindsey, her work, and her family, check out her Instagram feed.