Holidays
A Minimalist Holiday: 10+ Moms On How They Curb Consumerism
Written by Sara Langer
Photography by Photographed by Megan Guerrero
Dec 16, 2019
Yes, giving gifts is fun. And there is no doubt we absolutely love highlighting interesting products year-round and putting together our annual gift guides to inspire your holiday shopping adventures. However, we also know that the best gifts often cost very little to no money at all. In the case that you’ve been craving a more minimalist holiday this season (as we know so many modern and conscious mamas are), we’ve tapped 13 mothers who both talk the talk and walk the walk when it comes to thoughtful gifting and inspired holidays. Read ’em all and take some notes while you’re at it.
Have your own minimalist holiday tradition? We’d love to hear it! Feel free to fill us in down in the comments.
-
-
"I wouldn't really consider myself a minimalist. I'm more like a messy person who tries to avoid clutter through owning less stuff. I also happen to be concerned with environmental issues and human rights issues, so trying to reduce waste and consume responsibly is always on my mind. When my daughter, Prairie, was younger I was super strict about her only playing with wooden Waldorf-style toys, and I made wish lists that I distributed to our relatives. This kind of makes me cringe in hindsight, because it sounds a bit over the top, and micromanaging gifting kinda robs the joy for the gifted I would think. For example, my best friend, who we consider Prairie's honorary uncle, is notorious for stopping by the Dollar Store in Silverlake and bringing her all this junk. But I know that it brings him joy and it brings her joy, so I just let them enjoy the moment and then I quietly donate things once the toys have lost their luster. Luckily, my parents and in-laws are both pretty on board with our parenting style and less is more philosophy, and generally do a great job getting her gifts we approve of, like art supplies. Last year my mom got her just one large gift–a wooden dollhouse–which was great because it was something we couldn't have afforded otherwise and it is a beautiful heirloom piece. I don't want to buy a bunch of little plastic crap, or 'future garbage', as my friend Nico refers to it. But my daughter is at an age where little plastic crap is exactly what she is drawn to. My solution to this is genius and simple: inherit other people's plastic crap! The best present Prairie has ever received was when one of our friends sent her a box filled with plastic Easter eggs and each egg had a hand-me-down plastic figurine in it. It was like she got to star in her own YouTube surprise egg video, and she LOVED it."
For more inspiration from Geneva, follow along on Instagram and her blog, Cosmic American.
-
-
"Today, when you say the word 'holidays,' the image for me is filled with much fewer presents under the tree than the image from my childhood. It’s not that I don’t care about presents anymore, but my idea of presents has changed. Since starting my own family, I’ve been even more obsessed with collecting experiences and memories. These are the everlasting moments that I cherish because they bring joy, education, and wonder, and they don’t compete with the limited space I have in our home. During my research when I first was starting my company Littlefund, I read books like Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending and The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. The result was me (and my family) becoming avid followers of their messages. Now once the holidays roll around, I’ve found a few ways to help redirect the energy of Christmas into creating traditions versus consumerism at an early age with my children. It came down to the values and mindfulness I wanted to pass on to them. I want my children to equate the memory of every Christmas with what we did together and who we spent it with; not how many presents under the tree. I’m proud to say that it wasn’t hard to keep up with this lifestyle. It actually made life a lot simpler and easier to manage as a parent. In our family, words like celebrating, time off, gathering, family, friends, see, do, hear, and play are in constant rotation instead of presents or gifts. Giving is another one, not receiving. Giving extra love and consideration for others because that’s the holiday spirit. Santa is someone we visit and read about. We limit material gift giving to three items for our daughter, one of them could be from Santa. We take our time to pick out these items and don’t give them to her all at once. We save one big gift, we call it the Family Gift, to announce our holiday travel plans. With grandparents and others giving to our children, we ask them politely to limit their gift to one small item and to think about her Littlefund goals first. We say, 'We’re a Littlefund family.' To reciprocate our minimalist values, when gifting to others, we default to Littlefund since I assume the recipient family will find joy in me contributing to an experience or goal. I typically will contribute towards a goal for friends and contributions go up from there for family members. I know it is always a gift that will be well used now or later. Sometimes I also might wrap something small to go along with the card, like sweets or a hairpin."
For more inspiration from Mimi, follow her on Instagram and check out Littlefund.
-
-
"During the holidays, less really can be more. In our family, 'No thank you' is a complete sentence. While we’re thankful for the abundance of holiday experiences, we value the season with enough. This means we are very intentional. We don’t partake in holiday experiences and traditions that leave us broke, overwhelmed, and exhausted. Before the holidays, and throughout the year, I talk about gifts with my children. It’s essential to set expectations ahead of time for a simpler holiday. Sharing practical minimalism, through casual conversations and in small doses over time will help it to sink in deepest with children. I always allow my kids to choose the fate of the gifts given to them, but I may ask them questions such as: Do you think you will enjoy playing with that more than a few times? Would you like to re-gift it to another child? Is there room on your toy shelf for this item? If not, is their a toy you no longer play with that you can remove to make more space? Would you like to return the gift and use it for an experience, like skating, bowling, or a lunch date at their favorite restaurant? After Thanksgiving, when the shopping frenzy begins, I ask my kids to write out their Christmas List. It’s not a Christmas Wish List, although that is perfectly fine, but this list is a Christmas Give List. Individually, my four kids write down abut 20 things that they would like to give over the coming month. The gifts could be given to anyone and be anything. Past lists have included donating clothing from their wardrobe, a hug, a toy, a pair of earrings, or helping a younger sibling build a fort. The possibilities are endless. As each gift is given, they cross it off their list. This tradition has been a wonderful way to cultivate gratitude and conscious consumerism for our family during the holidays. By asking our kids thoughtful questions, we’re giving them the tools to learn mindful decision making in their own lives."
For more inspiration from Zoë, follow along on Instagram, check out her blog, Raising Simple, and her book, Minimalism for Families.
-
-
"We have a very nontraditional approach to the holidays, as the winter holidays of our childhood were very much centered around gifts and religions—Catholicism and Judaism—which we no longer feel deep connections to. As a family, we feel deep gratitude to how religion served our parents in troubling times in American and world history that attempted to disparage people like them. After many years of debate, we could no longer really articulate a genuine reason to hold onto the winter holidays other than the desire to participate in consumerism. We made a decision to celebrate whatever holiday is important to the people we love when we are with them, but to not give them a central role in our own home. Prior to children, it really lightened our load in December and made the winter incredibly joyful and carefree. As parents, we are committed to protecting the environment and raising the next generation of environmental stewards. At times we make uncomfortable choices, investments, or go out of our way to do things that put the environment first. My children have, what feels to me to be, a small number of quality toys, clothing, and a few pairs of shoes that stand the test of time. Together with my children, we thoughtfully curate these based on what they truly enjoy doing and wearing. The kids are pretty inventive and imaginative, they haven't seemed to notice a shortage of toys or clothing. I noticed early on how little they played with the toys they had and how often they prefer to wear the same favorite outfits over and over again. We have taught them to 'say no to plastic' as much as possible, with the exception of a few dolls and Legos that will get used for many years to come and eventually move onto another family. Almost any toy or clothing we have removed from our home has found a second home, along with most of our past belongings. When we had children, we started building a connection to Winter Solstice. It’s a moment of transition that happens around the world, and Winter Solstice marks the day of the year with the shortest amount of daylight. It often conveniently falls between Hanukkah and Christmas. For us, it is about gratitude for our family, a good meal, lighting candles, an outdoor adventure celebrating the beauty of this planet, and one small gift. This year we have committed to making the trip back East to visit my family and participate in their Christmas celebration. The holiday will be about the experiences of my childhood, which includes cooking and baking with my mother, seeing a theater performance, visiting extended family, spending time with lifelong family friends, and admiring the over the top lighting displays around the local neighborhoods and city of Pittsburgh. We will partner with my parents to ensure the gifts are minimal, thoughtful, easy to transport back to California, and useful. My mother has suggested giving the children one thing they want, one thing they need, one thing they wear, and one thing to read. This sounds like a lovely idea to me and something the kids will enjoy."
For more inspiration from Ashley, follow along on Instagram and check out her blog, Vibrantly Healthy Kids.
-
-
"Now that I have Sofia, who will be 1 around Christmas, the holidays are all about watching her experience the magic that comes with them. We're doing a white elephant with our immediate family to decrease the amount of gifting happening between us adults and we will likely only purchase one gift for Sofia. Every year around this time, as well as a few other the times throughout the year, I do a huge purge of clothing and home goods. I go through everything I own and pare things down to the essentials. I create a pile for the American Cancer Society, for friends, and a pile of clothing that I will photograph and try to sell. After this big purge, I'm able to see the products that my family and I actually need. Luckily, my friends and family know we aren't big on having gifts we do not need, so they always ask for a detailed list of what we want for Christmas. I'm in the process of putting this list together now, which requires some fun research and digital window shopping at my favorite shops. What I love most about my tradition of purging four times a year is that by decreasing the clutter in my life, I'm decreasing the amount of laundry and cleaning I have to do every day. Like all things, this practice takes planning and dedication. And if it doesn't feel natural at first, I recommend inviting an honest friend over to help make it a little easier and more fun."
For more inspiration from Jen, follow along on Instagram and check out Noble Carriage's online shop and Instagram.
-
-
"When gifting to friends and neighbors over the holidays, I usually give freshly baked bread from a local bakery, paired with preserves made from the grapevine here at our cottage, wrapped in a sustainable linen napkin or dishcloth that can be reused. Topping it off with some twine and a fresh clipping of festive greenery–such as rosemary–is a no-waste way of presenting the bundle beautifully. When it comes to gifts for our toddler son, they’re predominantly library books wrapped in either a new, handmade piece of clothing, or a cloth gift bag. When he tires of the borrowed titles in a couple of weeks, there’s no sunk cost and zero waste. His favorite present thus far has been an oversized, hand-me-down truck from the neighbors. For most young children, a gift doesn’t have to be new or high-end to be worthy of love and fascination!"
For more inspiration from Whitney, follow along on Instagram and her blog, Tiny Canal Cottage.
-
-
"When it comes to gifting—during the holidays or any time of year—it’s more about the meaningfulness of the gift rather than being something tangible, especially when shopping for my husband and son. I do love randomly getting them little things I know they’d like, whether it’s something small like their favorite snack or a Leonard Cohen album my husband Johnny doesn’t already own. I get this from my own mother who always comes bearing some kind of gift, from toilet paper to a surprise batch of my favorite Filipino dishes, when she drops by. We are very mindful not to go crazy buying things to clutter up our lives, and instead, we take Harrison on day trips or weekend getaways with family as gifts. For example, I’m planning on taking him to the children’s area at the Huntington Library and gardens. He loves stuff like that and we love to foster it. I did splurge and get a vintage Wurlitzer Spinet Piano for Harrison to start learning to play. Secondhand is always wonderful, as well as purchasing from sustainable, independent designers and makers. And any old toys and clothing we don't use anymore get handed down or donated."
For more inspiration from Melissa, follow along on Instagram and her website.
-
-
"The holidays with kids is such a magical time, but it can be overwhelming with all the pressure to shop and buy presents. We try to focus on holiday experiences with the kids, spending time with friends and family, going to the tree farm, the Christmas train, brunches, etc. We call all these things adventures or parties and get the kids excited about them. With our families, we set expectations early to not buy the kids many gifts or offer a small list of necessities or useful and creative toys. Alternatively, we ask for the gift of experiences. This could be passes to the aquarium, drop-in passes at our local art shop in Vancouver (Collage Collage), community center passes, and coffee shop gift cards. For the adults, we instituted Secret Santa, on both sides of the family, a few years ago and most of us try to shop locally or ethically for those gifts. Everyone feels better getting and giving one thoughtful gift and everyone spends less time shopping during the holidays. I use drawnames.com to organize it and make sure we don't get repeats. With friends we say, 'Hey let's get together over the holidays but no gifts.' I believe it relieves pressure for everyone. If I'm really organized, I try to give consumable or handmade tokens like cookies, wine, or tree ornaments. We do have a couple of gifts under the tree on Christmas morning, but it is usually one big gift and a couple of small things for the stockings, like books, kinder surprise, new felts, etc. In the past it has been a scooter or a bike; something that encourages play and activity. This year I am considering a dollhouse for Mae and I'm still on the hunt for something for Theo."
For more inspiration from Alison, follow along on Instagram and her blog, 600SQFTANDABABY.
-
-
"When it comes to parenting, I’ve found that less is always more. Conscious parenting makes me more creative and present in my son's life. Being in my late twenties, it has become important to save as much money as I can, which led me to minimal living. In general, we try to focus more on experiences than material things. We don’t have television, cable, or excessive toys in our household. This lifestyle creates more interaction, with a calm relaxed space for him to grow. Holidays can be very tricky when trying to keep life as simplified as possible, while still being festive for your little one. For Halloween, I poured my heart into Phoenix’s DIY costume. Not only was I proud of myself for making him something by hand, but it saved me a lot of money instead of buying a costume. This year for 'Christmas' we do something that Phoenix's dad calls 'gift exchange day.' We get each other ONE gift. We also have a tradition to take a family trip every December. I want to teach my son that our memories are more valuable than anything I could buy. Holidays seem to carry anxiety and financial burden, but all your family really needs is each other."
For more inspiration from Chloe', follow along on Instagram.
-
-
"One of my love languages is gift-giving and the irony of a minimalist loving to give gifts is not lost on me! I absolutely love thinking up the most perfect gift for someone I love. The main difference now is those gifts aren’t just things. Instead, I seek to give something that would truly add value to their lives or an experience we could share. I try to keep a running list on my phone throughout the year with thoughtful gift ideas for my loved ones. This helps me, come the holiday season, to not feel the pressure of magically thinking up the perfect gift on the spot. I’ve spent the whole year listening to those around me and taking notes about how I could ‘gift’ them something useful and thoughtful. When it comes to those gifts you need to give to someone you might not know as well, I always opt for consumables like coffee, tea, chocolates, wine, etc. The things people will actually consume versus another pre-packaged holiday lotion and candle set. For receiving gifts, I often ask for practical things I actually need, like a new set of sheets or my favorite brand of coffee. If there isn’t anything I’m in need of, I like to ask for a new plant or a gift card for a spa treatment. You can never have too many of either of those in my opinion! Many of my close friends and family have picked up on my desire to live a simple and minimal lifestyle. With a new baby this year it might be a different story for her. I didn’t give specific instructions for my family for our daughter. Instead, I offered up a few ideas and told them I’d happily send them a link to what I know she’d need. I also suggested a few local stores that carry things that fit my more minimal, eco-friendly lifestyle. But like I said, this is our first Christmas as parents so we’re still learning! Minimalism is a process."
For more inspiration from Kitty, follow along on Instagram and check out her blog and YouTube channel.
-
-
"It’s been very powerful to refine my spending. It’s been one of the most powerful things I feel I have to do. Like any fast, it reveals my true priorities, it shows the triggers that push me into mindless behavior, and it allows new visions for me to work up to. I dream about a world after capitalism often as an artist. I dream about how powerful it will be to value beings over things, again. I think about that a lot. And saving money as social justice. Saving money as a way of showing concern. Because capitalism is not feminist. Capitalism refuses us the livelihood and dignity of so many brown women and girls. It creates realities like baby formula being locked up in grocery stores so that women will not steal food to feed their children. It creates dysphoria like the Bay Area being the most expensive area to live in in the country, and one of the largest centers for sex trafficking in the country as well. My view on minimalism is tied directly to my view of social justice. It’s about harm reduction. It’s about the transformation of self and systems, as Professor Stephen Shigematsu would say. Controlling spending is and can be a beautiful political act."
For more inspiration from A-lan, follow along on Instagram, check out her website.
-
-
"I love to keep the holiday season as simple as possible, so I can actually enjoy it! I love Christmas and everything about it: the decor, the presents, the time spent with family. And yes, I did say presents! As a minimalist, I'm committed to streamlining the 'stuff' in our home, and I don't have many rules when it comes to presents and gift-giving. That being said, the most important tip I can offer is to clean out and purge your kids' rooms before the holiday season. Take into account what they actually use and enjoy. During the fall, I purge as much as I can from our closets and our kids toys. This way I have an accurate idea of what they actually have and use, which clothes fit and which don't, and I can focus on buying presents they need or would appreciate because they don't already have it. And I shop as early in the season as possible. I do most of my shopping online and by the end of November all the presents have arrived. This way there is no stress during the holiday season and I don't have to deal with the chaos in stores. I focus on gifts for the whole family, such as board games we can all play together. I also focus on high quality over high quantity. I love giving experiences as gifts, and I often encourage relatives to think of an experience they can do with our kids rather than just buying them extra toys. I love giving presents and seeing the happiness on a loved one's face, but I'm mindful of what I'm giving so we can all enjoy a simply beautiful holiday season."
For more inspiration from Margarita, follow along on Instagram and website.
-
-
"Living in a studio apartment in the heart of Sacramento has kind of forced me to be a minimalist. Living in a small space has taught me a bit of self-discipline when it comes to shopping, especially during the holidays. In my home, we use the same, mostly vintage ornaments and decorations every year instead of buying whatever decor is on trend for that season. I always look for experiences, like tickets to a concert or musical, before looking into buying a product. I know giving experiences is pretty obvious, but I think it's so great. You get the satisfaction of a person's reaction when they receive the tickets plus the joy of sing-shouting the words to your favorite song at a concert or weeping your eyes out at the finale of a musical with them. I don't always find cool experiences to give, so when I shop for physical items, I look for items that I'm confident will last a long time and get used often. I've gotten good at doing this for my husband, siblings, and parents, but admittedly, I'm still finding my footing when buying for my six month old son. I try to pick gear that will grow with him and toys that will engage his mind. We don't limit the number of gifts we give, but we do make sure they're given with intention. For us, it's the perfect way to enjoy the gift-giving part of the season while making sure we don't bring in more than our tiny home can hold."
For more inspiration from Alex, follow along on Instagram and her blog, Tinted Green.
-
Share this story
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
