"We bought this house 5 years ago. We had been looking and had experienced some disappointment, so when this house popped up—100 years old and in a totally walkable, central neighborhood—we almost didn’t care about any other details. Jefferson, my husband, showed up at 7 a.m. and left a note, and then I went by an hour later with a bunch of toddlers in tow. Jefferson warned me that the owners had a sign that read 'conservative parking only,' and I remember putting on an oxford cloth button-down—and buttoning all the buttons—and a long skirt, and putting bows in my kids' hair before approaching them! Ha!"

"Warm, efficient in a really simple way, and balanced. Functionally very minimalist, but aesthetically less so."

"Yes! We have changed every single surface inside this house and have completely replaced the plumbing and a lot of old scary wiring. We naively thought we’d be able to make some significant changes within the first three months of living here. It’s definitely been a bigger job than anticipated and we aren’t finished yet. The kitchen and bathrooms were the biggest overhauls for sure. We meticulously designed everything ourselves, did a lot of the work, and contracted some out. It’s a totally different house now and works really well for us. This year, after patching the roof multiple times for a few very rainy winters, we are finally going to put a new one on. Not a glamorous one, but necessary."

Abigail wears Beaton pants, a thrifted shirt, a James Street Co. cardigan, and vintage boots.

The family's impressive bookshelf includes a stack of great plant-based cookbooks (left to right): Oh She Glows Every Day, Rose Elliot's New Complete Vegetarian, Vegetable Literacy, Miso, Tempeh, Natto & Other Tasty Ferments, Vegan Richas's Indian Kitchen, Plant Power Bowls, Let Them Eat Vegan!, Minimalist Baker's Everyday Cooking, The How Not To Die Cookbook, Keep It Seasonal: Soups, Salads, and Sandwiches, The Plantiful Table, The Help Yourself Cookbook for Kids, Veganomicon, The Vegan Instant Pot Cookbook, Gjelina: Cooking from Venice, California, andThe New Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone.

And children's titles (left to right): Nancy Drew, Wayside School, Phoebe and Her Unicorn, Lucy, Bravery Magazine, and Wilderwood Imperium, amongst others.

"Don’t do it! At least not all at once. I do believe, to some extent, in form following function, but also personally love color and pattern and have pretty wide-ranging tastes in terms of art and design. I feel that when each item you bring into your home is considered and you are excited about it, it’ll all work together okay—which is good enough! Overly staged homes can be boring. Plus, empty rooms are luxurious! No need to rush it! We recently realized that we have a really strong red and green theme happening in our dining/schoolroom and love it. I for sure wouldn't have planned it out that way, but it is working for us. On the other hand, we agonize over designing cabinets or other architectural details, like choosing tile, etc. We measure a thousand times, draw everything out 10 different ways, and try to use solid materials. We are both—and our kids are, too—easily affected by our surroundings and we stay at home a lot, so we are acutely aware of how every little detail in the house plays into our lives. We also like happy accidents, though. We are just always considering and reconsidering our surroundings. Jefferson is a serious project finisher, too, so if we get deep into something, it’s going to get done. Not my strength, so I lucked out with him."

"I love everything in and about our home so much. Almost everything is vintage or handmade and all the little architectural elements we changed or added really make me smile, too. I even love the little hole in the floor that you can see into the basement through. It’s given more than a few splinters but we are ok with it and quite a lot of other imperfections. There is a large pair of photos that my artist brother-in-law made and gifted to Jefferson that hang in the living room. He projected some found slides of mountains onto sheets and photographed them. They are so beautiful. We recently had them re-framed so they feel really fresh to me right now, and so do the vintage Sonneman wall lamps we installed above the couch. They are perfect for reading. It’s probably obvious that we also love really graphic vintage rugs."

"We got by with a vintage couch bought from a friend off of Facebook, a very special rug gifted by a family member, and not much else for several years in the living room, but we needed more seating and wanted to create a space for more comfort and leisure. The proportions of the room are a bit weird; it’s long and not very big, so we recently designed and built this couch with a friend that would fit it perfectly, still allow for a pretty open feel, and create a ton of seating at the same time. Then Jefferson and said friend built a full wall of shelving that helped shorten the room a bit and house books, records, knitting, and a few other extras we like to have on hand in this room. It’s been a game changer. On Sundays, we do something we call 'Sunday Parley' with the kids. We might read aloud from a book that we’d like to discuss, talk about life and values and grievances, listen to records, and make plans together. Having a cozier space that isn’t Mom and Dad’s smallish bed has made all the difference."

"A little of both at this point. Our dining room is multipurpose. We used to homeschool, so it was already set up as a school/playroom and has returned more specifically to that purpose recently, but everything has a place and gets cleaned up a few times a day. We don’t mind if the kids move their games or crafts to other areas of the house, but the materials have to go back to where they belong once they are done. They are getting older and are pretty good at cleaning now. I’m sure I would have answered this question differently a few years ago, but that time is all a blur to me now."

Family pile up!

"We had already been keeping the kids home from school for a few weeks by the time the stay-at-home order was issued in Oregon. My youngest has a respiratory condition, so we’ve been pretty freaked out from the get-go. We already spend winters managing ER visits and sometimes hospital stays for illnesses similar to COVID-19 with him, so the anxiety levels are up a bit all the time now. We have been lucky enough to stay well, though, and because Jefferson works with me we have the flexibility to keep the kids home and work as best we can. We are also lucky to have a little yard for the kids and for gardening and a space where we feel safe and happy. We love cooking, cleaning, and projects of all kinds, so we are well-suited for quarantine life in that way. We’ll get into needle felting with the kids or something and have a station set up for days and then move onto a new craft after a while. I also have a team at ARQ that has been working incredibly autonomously for the past several months. They are blowing me away with their creativity, resilience, talents, and compassion."

A custom sectional built to hold the whole crew.

"I miss hugging my parents and siblings and am worried about the illness itself, but I was a hair's breadth away from being a total homebody anyway, so the actual restrictions aren’t too hard for me personally. I also have creative outlets, an amazing partner, and loads of other things to be grateful for. Not to minimize the struggles of those in a similarly privileged position; I am having a lot of those same struggles, including feelings of helplessness. ARQ has remained flexible and strong throughout this, but of course I am sometimes scared for the longer-term repercussions of the massive hit our economy has taken and devastated by the immediate effects it has had on many of my friends’ and family’s businesses and jobs, and my local community’s economy that revolves around tourism, food, and hospitality. Not to mention the tremendous loss and ever-more glaring systemic inequities that are compounded by all the willful failings of leadership right now. I'm having so many different feelings at once all the time."

Admiring the world from a safe distance.

"Our kids went to a school that had them managing their own routine already—their teachers are brilliant—so it has been a relatively smooth transition to set a schedule with them. We include them in the planning, make lists and post them for our main routines, and then they use their notebooks to make personal lists for themselves every morning before choosing something to work on. Some things are still met with a lot of resistance throughout the day, but we are trying to be flexible within the plans we set and with ourselves as well. I still have to take time-sensitive work calls and texts when I’m helping a kid with a project, and it derails the entire morning almost every single time, so I have decided to be okay with that and let everyone off the hook when it happens. We also have a lot of little rituals built into our days that make for a good reset. Mealtime songs and poems, meditation time (that one only works sometimes)—basically we are the dorkiest family you’ll ever meet, but it’s working just fine for us most of the time."

The kind of spice rack dreams are made of.

"We split the day in half, one of us takes work in the morning while the other takes the kids, and then swap out for the second half of the day. We both want to be a part of our kids’ schooling in the morning, so we just alternate every day. It’s not enough work time for all our responsibilities, which can get pretty stressful some days and result in late nights, but the time with our kids has been so sweet and it would be hard for me to give that up at this point."

"The kids are thriving, honestly. They are not especially anxious kids and though they miss their friends and cousins, they are deep into their own world of projects and make-believe and bugs and books. It feels like less bickering and way more jokes. I'm not sure how that will affect our decisions for the coming school year or if continuing this way is even possible long-term, but we are enjoying them so much right now."

"Biking around town and popping in on friends. Hugs. Street food enjoyed in crowds. Live music."

Sister love.

"I’m so deep in it already that this is a tough one! Hmm, I would say getting to know my kids continually over time and really enjoying them as individuals. They surprise me every day."

"Everything. I’m getting better at not considering the worst case scenarios all the time. At least I was before 2020."

Who needs a jungle gym?

"I didn’t care! I have definitely learned that every child, regardless of sex, is so unique, and as we have tried to be really deliberate in the way we raise our kids, it’s been healing to let go of so many of the misguided ideas about gender that permeated our upbringing and education. Mostly, I am excited—or maybe just hopeful—that this generation will potentially be less hung up on limiting and sometimes dangerous gender norms. Current consumer and media culture doesn’t necessarily point that way, but I think the kids are catching on and they’ll do a better job than previous generations."

"Cleopatra Ruth, who goes by 'Cleo' mostly, Zelda Magdalena, and Polonius Jernigan—he goes by 'Ponyboy' at home. We just had fun with it. Looking at the names now, I’d say the theme was 'ye olde names that are unusual but have a kind of strong and meaty/hefty feel."

Perfect spot for lunches and lessons.

"Cleo is 9 and she loves art, gymnastics, cooking, and talking about the ideas that she is discovering are important to her. Zelda is 7 and into reading, art, high-drama performing, and coordinating plays and bands with friends. Polonius, 6, is passionate about tools, building machines, 'eklectric' stuff, non-stop intense motion, and snuggling."

The family that makes music together...

"I didn’t have strong feelings about it, but I always assumed I would be one. Turns out I like it very much! I got lucky."

A pretty WFH nook.

"I got HG (hyperemesis gravidarum) with all my pregnancies, which was tough, but we made it through okay. My last pregnancy involved hemorrhaging pretty early on. I made it to 25 weeks and then was hospitalized for almost a week before needing an emergency c-section. It was a difficult but also a very special time. Cleo and Zelda were three and one at the time and had never been away from me at all. I would spend all day at the NICU holding Polonius skin-to-skin as soon as it was safe for him, while my sister or sometimes another kind family member watched the other two all day. Jefferson commuted to finish his last semester at law school, and when I came home for the kids’ bedtime, he would head straight from school to the hospital to hold Polonius skin-to-skin until really late at night, when he’d finally come join the rest of us. I would set two different alarms for the middle of the night to wake up and pump for Polonius, and then Zelda, who was still breastfeeding when this happened, would nurse a lot of the night to make up for my absence during the day. It all feels like a different lifetime now."

"After Cleo, I went back to teaching ballet a little bit after a few months, but I wasn’t working during my second and third pregnancies. After having Polonius, a nurse told me early on at the NICU that I wasn’t allowed to read there, and I didn’t find out for months that it wasn’t actually a rule. I spent my 8 hours a day or so of 'kangaroo care' time with Polonius daydreaming about what I would do with myself. Luckily, I don’t get bored that easily and one of the things I was contemplating was a clothing line. I didn’t start working on ARQ until he was maybe 10 months old though? It’s hard to remember!"

"A few of my favorite books are Free to Learn, Simplicity Parenting, Siblings Without Rivalry, and all of Peggy Orenstein’s books—which are not parenting books, but also totally are."

"Yeah, my own mom and sister and sisters-in-law, for sure. When you know someone well and you are doing this incredibly hard parallel thing, you can’t help but admire the sublime determination and ability to sort of reassemble oneself over and over—no one more so than my mom. She is really beautiful and put-together, too, so I think she probably doesn’t get credit for it, you know? So many blows and challenges over the years that she meets with so much kindness."

"I have four siblings really close in age to me—I’m the middle—and grew up in a farmhouse at the edge of the town I’m living in now. Every person and family has their challenges, but basically I grew up on beautiful farmland and got all the ballet lessons and paints and books and love I could need. I wouldn’t change it for anything."

Packs all in a row.

"The kiddos' room gets the best light in the house, so it’s pretty magical for a good portion of the day depending on the time of year. Those are things we notice up here when it gets gloomy. They are all three in the same room, so the bed situation is what it is because that’s the only way they will fit nicely. Most of the art is from artist friends, and they often tape their own art to the walls as well. The room is really just setup for sleeping, but you can’t beat a bunk bed or a fun rug for a good hangout or some dangerous jumping, hanging upside-down, and swinging…"

"Oh gosh...I should ask my kids, but sort of don’t want to know what they’d say. I would like to say I am gentle and fun, but really I am just trying my best. I tend to be really values-driven in general and am constantly evaluating myself as a parent. Hopefully that translates to steady improvement and not just neuroticism."

Room for the three amigos.

"I think it has just made me more anxious and vocal."

"Every mom is so different; I wouldn’t want to give advice that feels at all invalidating to another person’s experience, but for me it was almost otherworldly to experience those first few sleepy months of motherhood with Cleo. Smelling her sweet milk breath and wrapping her up right against my skin for like 10 walks a day. I bought a tiny portable washing machine for her cloth diapers so I wouldn’t be taking baby poop to the shared washing machines in our building and then hang-dried them all over the apartment. I feel really lucky that I was able to spend that sticky-sweet slow time with her—it was pre-smartphones, and I didn’t even have the internet or a T.V.— and would recommend it to anyone who could swing it."

Zelda wears a thrifted sweatshirt and jeans. Polonius wears an ARQ shirt, vintage jeans, and Mini Rodini socks. Cleo wears an Inika Choo blouse and vintage jeans.

"Nope! Already begging for future grandbabies, though."

"I am the designer and CEO at ARQ."

"I grew up here in rural Oregon and went to school in Utah where I studied fine art. I lived abroad briefly during school, and Jefferson and I spent a short while in Colorado but moved to Oregon after having a baby and deciding we’d want to end up here. I did a few art shows after graduating, but taught ballet for income. I did sew a lot and sold a few things out of a boutique at the time, but wasn’t that into production sewing out of my bedroom. Babies were really fun to sew for, though, so I went nuts making things for my little ones after they were born."

Little monkeys.

Abigail wears a Paloma Wool turtleneck and Stepney Worker’s Club sneakers. Zelda wears a vintage blouse and Red Creek Kids dress. 

"I think since I decided to start having kids young, it moved me outside of traditional post-grad academia or professional trajectories I would have otherwise taken. It was sort of like skipping that part while I did this other really intense few years of babies, babies, babies, and then jumping right into the deep-end of a creative/entrepreneurial thing while I homeschooled them. My sister-in-law and business partner, Elle Rowley, encouraged me and supported the creation of ARQ starting back in 2015. I definitely wouldn’t have embarked on anything like this if it hadn’t been for her loving enthusiasm. I was so in my BFA lane, but am so happy to have been stretched over into this one. I love what we’ve created and the team and culture we’ve built here. It’s so incredibly gratifying."

"We are in such an ideal situation at this point for our family—the kids are a little older and even though we put in kind of an absurd number of hours for work, we are flexible. But yeah, we do have family around, which is so nice. And cousins make the very best friends."

"Not really! I am just falling short in all areas all the time, but I’m not sure I’d feel differently if I was doing something else."

"All the time. Just fakin’ it till I make it. And also sometimes not faking it so well."

"We are south of Portland in a small town called McMinnville. It’s my hometown. I moved back to be close to family, but also because it’s a really great spot—it’s surrounded by a ton of nature and great agriculture, it’s extremely walkable, and it has a really involved and conscientious community. Everyone is obsessed with wine and food and the farmers’ market, but nobody’s keeping up with the Joneses at all. We were able to buy a house right downtown, so we can walk or bike to work, school, restaurants, cafés, the grocery store, etc. Portland is a short drive as well, so it’s not too hard to pop in for Indian food or shows or shopping, but it’s far enough so that we don’t spend a fortune doing so."

"Maybe! Whenever I entertain the idea, I usually abandon it, though. I could see us trying to manage extended traveling and working remotely instead if that became a possibility, but there’s no urgency to that idea. Especially not right now."

A visit to the ARQ studio.

Abigail wears vintage Levi's, vintage slippers, a Lisa Says Gah cardigan, and a Young Frankk bracelet.

"There is so much great food in Portland and in McMinnville. I love Aviv, Bollywood, and all the street carts. There is genuinely good coffee on every corner. Heart is always great for that, but later at night we like to stop into The Pied Cow for dessert, affogato, and pleasantly weird vibes. Shop Boswell is the loveliest, most impeccably curated shop with a mix of vintage and indie designers, in addition to Brooke Boswell’s amazing millinery. There’s also Palace and Seven Sisters for great clothes, and Oko for jewels. I like Association for care products or maybe a special loose leaf tea. In McMinnville, if you want to come down for a weekend of wine tasting, one of my favorite places to eat is Pura Vida. I get veggie tacos—they make them vegan, and I could eat them every day for the rest of my life. Thistle is an out-of-bounds great place for a really special meal. Truly. Flag and Wire is our local coffee roaster, and their shop is great too. I actually rarely shop and usually cook meals at home with Jefferson and the kiddos, but all the places I've mentioned are really so good, and as a small business owner who understands what people pour into their establishments to make them as great as they are, and given the challenges they are all facing right now, I just want to list everyone I can think of and really don’t want to leave anyone out! I’ll just cut myself off here, though."

"Pretty grimy sometimes, but I do love clothes. I’m very open to a lot of different styles and enjoy looking at capital F fashion but try to limit my consumption—does that sound insufferable? It’s obviously really subjective and so is my commitment to it, so most of my clothes lean toward practical and comfortable."

Best little helper.

"Yes. No more heels, and I prefer durable, easy clothes for the most part. I am happy to have been pushed in that direction by necessity, i.e. getting puked on regularly for years."

"Jeans, sweaters, and t-shirts. Loose dresses in the summer. I have a lovely camel James Street cardigan that I wear almost every day. Rudy Jude, Beaton Linen, Caron Callahan, Paloma Wool, Bode, B Sides, local thrift stores, Mara Hoffman for great swimsuits. Fair Season, Peppered Goods, and Etsy for great vintage."

"It’s not that consistent and I often leave the house without looking in the mirror, so I’m not a good beauty advisor, but I love the Noto Botanics scrub, mist, and serum. I am waiting for Gloria to make a facial sunscreen because everything she makes is perfect and I don't have one I’m satisfied with. I still love RMS for makeup and have a tin of taupe mineral pigment I got on Etsy for brows that has lasted me like five years so far. I am still an oil-cleansing fan, too."

"I am a sporadic/rare at-home yoga or pilates kinda gal. I ride my bike or walk to work most days right now and that’s pretty nice. Projects and reading are my self-care. Cooking, gardening, sewing, art, etc."

"Work often fits that description because I enjoy a good flow so much. Mostly I am trying to get to ‘we time' with Jefferson at the end of the day."

"It’s naturally really important to me and plays into feelings of perfectionism, but I feel like the healthiest thing for my relationship with my kids is to focus on just enjoying them. I do my thing and I know they see me, but I try not to bring that into my mindset too much."

"We are mostly hoping to stay healthy! Because we are homeschooling and splitting up our workday, we are also sort of being forced to work what we might claim would be our ideal hours right now—and struggling with aligning that with our workloads—but we are trying to see it as an opportunity to balance our life out a little more and pursue some personal projects for fun."

For more on Abigail and her sweet family, be sure to follow her on Instagram here and here.