Mother Stories
Activist, Optimist, and Author Christine Platt on Raising A Strong Teen Girl
Written by Erin Feher
Photography by
Photographed by Erika Layne
Apr 23, 2019
For Christine Platt, activism is a way of life. She expresses her desires for the world through how she consumes (minimally and conscientiously), how she creates (she’s authored a series of kids’ books that let young Black children see themselves on her pages), and even how she decorates—she coined the term “Afrominimalism” to describe her design style, which is influenced by the rich history and beauty of the African diaspora. So, it should come s no surprise that she is raising a smart, stylish, and empowered 15-year-old daughter who has a bevy of impressive talents of her own. The two women live together in a dreamy Washington D.C. condo, and invited us over to talk about everything from design disagreements to the joys of raising a teenager (for real!) to why fighting racism is a family affair (for all of us). Click through the full tour below and prepare to be inspired!
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- "I purchased my condo when I moved to D.C. nine years ago. I was single at the time—it was just me and my daughter—and not only was this space perfect for the two of us, it was all I could afford in D.C. at the time. During my marriage, I rented it out to a friend. When I divorced in 2017, it was such a blessing for my daughter and I to return to a familiar, comforting space."
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- "My home aesthetic is minimalist decor influenced by the history and beauty of the African diaspora. I call it, 'Afrominimalist.'"
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- "I’ve done quite a few aesthetic renovations over the years, mostly painting and hardware updates. There have only been two major renovations—the bathroom and my daughter’s room, which was originally a den. I added a wall, door, and closet to give her a proper bedroom."
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- "It’s interesting how much minimalism has taught me about decorating! Like many new minimalists, I tried the all-white, barren aesthetic and it just didn’t work for me. Slowly, I added pops of color and texture, and created my own style of minimalism. So that’s my decorating philosophy: It’s your home, surround yourself with things that make you happy."
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- "It’s really about the lifestyle more than the aesthetic for me. The simplicity and ease of daily responsibilities since adopting a minimalist lifestyle has been life-changing for me. There’s less to worry about, less to clean, less to fret over. I’m able to spend more time focusing on the people and opportunities that matter most to me."
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- "Anything and everything that embraces the history and culture of the African diaspora! One of my top favorites is a jar of raw cotton that I purchased from Black Cotton two years ago. I’d never held a real cotton flower or bud, and I didn’t realize that the base had these sharp tips. Discovering that was another layer to understanding and honoring my ancestors’ endurance—it’s impossible to pick cotton without getting pricked, and I am sure that doing repeatedly caused cuts and bruises. So, whenever I look at that jar of cotton, it reminds me of my ancestors’ resiliency."
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- "Ha! Children are so honest so yes, she does have an opinion. Mainly, that I had no idea what I was doing when I first decorated our home years ago. Every room was a different color, there were lots of unnecessary trinkets and things, and her room was filled with 'guilt purchases' that I thought would make her happy because I worked a lot of long hours back then. Now that she’s fifteen, she loves the simplicity, functionality, and beauty of our home. She tells me all the time!"
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- "The idea that I raised a beautiful young woman who is poised to be a productive member of society. I cannot wait to see the woman she becomes! It’s so interesting answering this question now that my daughter is a teenager. I am sure my response would have been different in the earlier stages of her life."
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- "The same. Like, I have accepted that I’m literally going to have some level of worry and anxiety about my beautiful girl for the rest of my life. I, very naively, believed the worry would fade as she got older, was able to speak, fend herself, etc. Nope! You love your children so much! The nervousness and worry about their well-being never goes away."
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- "The minute I learned I was pregnant, I knew I was having a girl. I just knew it! I was excited about having a little living doll, lol. Now that she’s older, what has been so wonderful about raising a girl has been having the opportunity to break the stereotypes and myths surrounding womanhood that once shaped my identity. Girls today are so empowered! I love it!"
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- "Nalah (Successful) Aiden (Beautiful)."
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- "Nalah is fifteen years old and is into all things music and art. She’s a classically-trained violinist and plans to pursue professional orchestra training—Oberlin Conservatory is her dream school. She’s always loved art and it’s been amazing to see her natural talent. I draw stick people really well but that’s about it."
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- "My desire for motherhood was never constant. I definitely had a 'I could or couldn’t be a mother one day' approach. But when I discovered I was pregnant—surprise!—I was in my late twenties, in law school, and at a place in my life where I felt ready...well, as really as one thinks they can be for motherhood."
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- "When I was younger, books and articles were helpful in a 'you’ll survive this, you are not a terrible mother, you are not going crazy' kind of way. It was just helpful to know that I wasn’t alone. But as I got older, I found that mommy friends (honest, mommy friends that you can complain to, cry with, etc.) are more helpful than any book, movie or website. Motherhood takes a village. Mothers need a village!"
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- "My mommy friends are my icons! Those younger years were tough—lots of sacrifices, lots of long nights, lots of struggles with seemingly little reward. Now, me and my mommy friends are all like, 'Look at our daughters. Look at the young women we’ve raised. We’re amazing!' We encourage each other a lot. That’s what the village is for—to keep you going, to keep you believing in yourself as a woman and mother."
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- "Not that much. I am fortunate that Nalah’s biological father has always been very present and that my divorce was amicable, so she still spends time with her step-father. My daughter is very loved, very blessed. And I honestly feel that my motherhood experiences are quite similar to mothers who are married and have a father in the home. Parenting requires a lot. And mothers, not always, but more often than not, bear the bulk of the responsibilities. When Nalah was very young, I remember complaining to her paternal grandmother how 'unfair' and 'inequitable' motherhood was. She didn’t coddle me at all! Her approach more like, 'Yes, it really is! So, how do you plan to deal with it?' It was some tough love that really helped me manage my expectations of others and myself."
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- "So many! Ha! I’ll just say one of my biggest challenges was constantly wondering if I was doing the right thing, saying the right words, setting the right rules and restrictions. There’s this unshakable worry regarding how your choices will impact your child’s future—it used to plague me much more when she was younger. I think mothers definitely become more confident in their decisions and choices as their children grow older."
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"So easy breezy! I lived in a sleepy little town where everyone in the Black community knew each other. I went swimming under the bridge at Singer Island almost every weekend. I could play outside all day without fear. There was no internet, no cell phones. In retrospect, it was the best."
Nalah wears Gap.
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- "I’ve been asked this question a lot over the years—how do you do it? How do you make it look so easy? Co-parenting was tough in the beginning, but it took me a moment to realize that I was making our family dynamics tough. Once I let go of my expectations about what I thought he should be doing, and just let him be the father he wanted to be, our lives became so much easier. He’s never going to call as much I as would call. He’s never going to visit as much as I would visit. And that’s okay! They have their own special relationship—goofy code words, video chats, and father-daughter moments that I am not privy to. And I love it!"
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"I was so over-the-top in the beginning! So regimented, which was always a struggle because my daughter is a creative, free spirit. No surprise that I was burnt out most of the time when she was younger. I’m talking ‘tired tired.’ On-Prozac tired. I was just way too intense and it wasn’t healthy for either of us. My parenting style is much more relaxed now. I realize that my presence is more important than anything. Being available and showing up for silly conversations the same way I do for serious conversations. And being honest, especially as she prepares to leave the nest. I was so naive because my mother tried her best to protect me from the harsh realities of life. I chose to let my daughter live in a bubble and slowly let the air out. She’s much more aware and prepared for life than I ever was."
Christine wears a green Anthropologie jumper.
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- "Enjoy each moment! Even the challenges! And don’t be afraid—I had such fear that these years were going to be terrible. That there would be constant fighting and screaming matches. And these years haven’t come without challenges—they have been more emotional than any stage of motherhood thus far. But I’ll take these teenage years over those toddler years any day!"
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- "Initially, the thought of going through a divorce with a child or children is so daunting. There’s so much guilt! And not just regarding your own family. I remember thinking, ‘I’m the only one in our circle of friends getting a divorce. Now, everyone is going to have to explain this to their children.’ But what I learned is how empowering it is to teach your children that if you absolutely must end your marriage or partnership, it’s okay to do so. That you are not required to stay in an unhealthy relationship for anything or anyone, including your own children. I also allowed my daughter to attend individual therapy sessions, family therapy sessions, and mommy-and-me therapy sessions with our marriage counselor. It’s so important for children to have safe spaces to discuss their feelings, fears, etc. More often than not, children know their parents are unhappy, but they feel helpless and don’t know what to do about it. My advice for any woman going through divorce and preparing to be a single parent is, 'Congratulations! You are about to discover a strength and resiliency within yourself that you didn’t even know existed. You will survive this. And you will come out better on the other side.'"
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- "Whew! How could it not?! But, honestly, I love our current political climate. It’s forced America to start addressing and hopefully, reconciling some of its deep-rooted discriminatory issues and practices. As a historian, I recognize the importance and significance of social movements. Change is usually the result of political and social unrest. We can’t address our problems as a country unless we acknowledge them. And currently, they are impossible to ignore."
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- "Award-winning author and Guggenheim Fellow Dr. Ibram X. Kendi is the founder of the Antiracism Center—it is an institution that he’d always planned to establish as an integral part of his scholarship. In my role as Managing Director, I worked with Dr. Kendi and Director of Advocacy and Strategic Partnerships, Dr. Christopher Petrella, to help stand up the center. In 2017, I was in a lull with my writing career when I heard about the new center and reached out to Dr. Kendi to see if he needed any volunteers. Soon thereafter, I applied for the center’s first job opening. When I came on board, there wasn't even a website. Now, the Antiracism Center operates as a standalone center within the University, has a very robust online social presence, has honored the legacy of Frederick Douglass with The FD200, is preparing for the nation’s first National Antiracist Book Festival, and so much more! It’s very exciting to know a center of this kind exists—one that seeks to identify, change, and eradicate racist policies and practices. It has truly been such an honor to help launch this important institution."
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- "Very much so. Certainly because of the political climate and also her involvement in creative and performing arts. And, of course, because I am her mother. Activism has been a part of our conversations from a very early age, from the moment she reached for her first White baby doll. Our choices and our spending—these are also forms of activism. It was so important to me that my daughter be aware of her African ancestry, to embrace, and love it. It was so important to me that she be aware of gender norms and stereotypes, and feel comfortable challenging rather than conforming. Everything was always age-appropriate though. And I just expanded on our conversations as she grew older."
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- "We did have 'the talk' but it was very different from the one I received. I basically lived by the tenet, 'as a Black woman you have to work twice as hard to be considered half as good. Now, go forth and be great!' That’s what it was at the time, Black womanhood as this notion of survival. No joy. No magic. Just hard work. I’ve learned so much over the years. And I have used 'the talk' to empower my daughter. To focus less on the trauma of Black womanhood and more on our resiliency, ingenuity, and beauty. And it's an ongoing conversation, one that I imagine is never ending, at least that’s my hope. We recently saw the documentary She Did That. which focuses on Black women entrepreneurs. It added another layer to my daughter’s admiration and appreciation of Black women. I love our Black womanhood conversations and experiences so much!"
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- "Read, read, read. Exposure, exposure, exposure. These are two of the primary reasons my writing has become less focused on adult narratives and more focused on culturally responsive literature for children and young adults. The Ana and Andrew series provides mirror books for Black children who are more likely to develop a love for reading when they see themselves adequately represented in literature. The series also serves as window books for parents and teachers seeking to enlighten and expose other children to Black experiences. Each book is infused with a bit of history from the African diaspora. The reactions from parents and educators have been so affirming regarding the importance of these stories."
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- "I always say, 'Your first and best work begins at home.' Start addressing racism with your family and close friends first. Have the tough, honest conversations with your loved ones first. Understand and accept what privilege means and work to dismantle unfair and unjust discriminatory practices within your own neighborhoods and communities first. Collectively, these actions will address our broader, national concerns."
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- "I am an author and scholar of African and African-American history and culture. As a storyteller, I enjoy writing historical fiction and non-fiction for people of all ages."
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- "I grew up in West Palm Beach, Florida, where much of my knowledge of self came from my family and my small community. When I matriculated to the University of South Florida to pursue my undergraduate degree, I discovered Africana Studies/Black Studies. I was obsessed, enchanted! I became devoted to learning as much as possible about the history and culture of the African diaspora. I then went on to The Ohio State University where I continued my graduate studies of African and African-American history. I ended up graduating with my Juris Doctor from Stetson University College of Law with the hopes of pursuing a career in Equal Employment Opportunity work but, thankfully, life never goes as planned."
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- "Absolutely. After law school, I worked for a number of law firms and the hours were so intense, even as a law clerk! The billable hour structure required me to work 14-plus hours, several days a week. It was exhausting, unsustainable—it got to a point where the money didn’t even matter. Since then, I have remained in constant pursuit of opportunities that allowed more flexible hours and time with my daughter. Also, my daughter has no memories of those crazy law firm days, sitting under my desk watching movies on the weekends while I worked, etc. I feel that she needs me to be more present in these teenage years much more than she did when she was younger. I hope that little tidbit helps a working mother somewhere!"
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- "I’ll be honest—initially, I wasn’t inspired. I was in a lull with my second novel when my agent, Emily Sylvan Kim of Prospect Agency, recommended that I pitch to a publisher that was interested in developing a diverse children’s series focused on African American families. In the past, whenever Emily suggested that I write for children, I was very reluctant. I always said no. But it was fear—like, how can I discuss history, and more importantly, how can I discuss history without using expletives?! But something about this project felt different. I felt like I had to write it, I wanted to write it. I had no idea the project would change the trajectory and focus of my writing. In addition to now working on the next four books in the Ana & Andrew series, I am writing my first early reader nonfiction series, Sheroes: Real Wonder Women of History. To say that I love this work is an understatement. I’m sure I will write for adults again at some point, but right now, children and young audiences have captured my heart."
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"When it’s time to parent, give your child or children your full-attention. Phone down. No work emails. No last minute x, y, z in the midst of parenting. When it’s time for relationships and friendships, enjoy the people in your life and give them your full attention. The same for your creativity or business. I’ve found life to be so much easier when I compartmentalize my priorities rather than try to do all the things all the time."
Christine wears a Gap shirt, Madewell jeans, Kork-Ease shoes. Nalah wears a Forever 21 shirt and Converse shoes.
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- "I definitely used to have ‘mom guilt’ when I was working long hours. Unfortunately, I used to buy my way out of it. So many Build-A-Bears! But I learned the ‘mom guilt’ just is what it is—a self-imposed sanction on motherhood. It’s best to just make the time you do have together with your child really count. ‘Mom guilt’ still shows up from time to time, but I’m much more confident in addressing it for what it is, and acknowledging that I’m doing the best I can."
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- "It’s not something that I think about directly or put a lot of pressure on myself about. But I have always acknowledged that I am my daughter’s first teacher, and it is a role and responsibility I have never taken lightly."
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- "I was born and raised in West Palm Beach, Florida, and, in the '70s and '80s, it was still a sleepy little town. I had very limited access to cultural experiences—both in my day-to-day life and with regards to education and entertainment. Not so in D.C.! I love raising my daughter in a city that is reflective of the real world. From a young age, we’ve had tough conversations about homelessness, gentrification, affluence, racism, sexism…you name it. And, of course, most importantly she gets to see and experience first-hand the importance of respecting others and co-existing harmoniously."
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- "As my daughter prepares to venture off to college in two years—SOB!—I am finally at a stage in my life where I can consider the possibility of living elsewhere. I certainly plan to travel abroad for extended periods of time, but I think D.C. will always be my home base."
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- "We live in Southeast D.C., which is absolutely beautiful. When I purchased here years ago, it was definitely still considered the 'hood,' but I never really saw it that way. Perhaps, because I wasn’t a local and didn’t know much about the stigma of living 'East of the River' at the time. I just saw the Southeast/Anacostia community as one of the few places in D.C. that had beautiful green spaces and amazing views of Capitol Hill. One of my favorite local spots is in our own backyard: Eastern Market."
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- "Simple. As simple as possible. Ha! I recently adopted a uniform—white blouse and skinny jeans or black pants—that has been life-changing. I’m also a big fan of jumpers and rompers."
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- "Definitely. And definitely as I became a more seasoned mother. I just want to look my best and feel comfortable. Finding my personal style rather than conforming to societal pressures of what it means to be a woman—especially when it comes to appearances—has been so freeing!"
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- "A crisp white shirt and great jeans are essential. Same for the comfortable everyday dress or tunic. Some of my favorite brands have always been Anthropologie, Madewell, Banana Republic, and thrift store finds where the label has been cut out. Recently, I have started to embrace the concept and culture of slow fashion, so I am discovering and supporting women makers on Instagram. A few of my favorites are @martinesdream and @thetinycloset—look at this dress! You can find many others at @buyfrombipoc."
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- "It’s pretty simple: a gentle cleanser and Thayers Rose Petal Witch Hazel are essential. I’m starting to embrace more natural oils as moisturizers, and currently loving jojoba oil. Also, I do love a good night mask—Korres is a favorite. And I love dry brushing and using my quartz face roller because it feels like I’m spoiling myself. I have very little time to attend exercise classes these days and so I try to walk as much as possible. Meditation and alone time are essential to my self-care. Whenever I can have a few moments alone with myself, burn a little incense or palo santo, and just be still and quiet? Ah, it’s decadent!"
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- "My bedroom has become a safe haven for me. So, closing the door and just being still is great ‘me time.’ Also, getting out of the house alone and going for walks, shopping, or people watching are also healthy forms of ‘me time.’ I’ve learned to embrace the notion of ‘me time’ as being less about where I am and what I’m doing and more about the practice of putting myself first, doing something without anyone else and for anyone else."
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"More storytelling for readers of all ages! And to start mentally preparing myself for my daughter entering her junior year of high school, dealing with college applications—gah!"
Keep up with Christine, her family, and all of her inspiring work by following along on Instagram.
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Simply beautiful. Each picture is so lovely and uplifting. Thank you for sharing your very best to us.
I loved this one so much. Beautiful!