“When James and I decided to move in together years ago, his sister was moving out of a one bedroom bungalow that was next door to his other sister and her family. We moved in and immediately fell in love with our little home. It suits us and is perfectly cozy. When we found out we were pregnant with twins, we immediately thought our home may be too tiny for the four of us, but we love it so much that we want to make it work for as long as we can. Not a lot of homes in LA have huge fenced-in yards, and we are lucky enough to have a big fenced in yard, period. I love our little home, it's very warm and inviting.”

Elaina wears a floral Christy Dawn dress. Quincy and Rowe wear yellow and blue Willaby Clothier two-pieces.

“Our home is a mixture of midcentury furniture and modern pieces. Over the years, James and I have collected items from our travels and flea markets that colorfully decorate our home.”

“Our couch! When I was pregnant with Lincoln, we were redoing our home to make it more family-friendly. We went to CB2 and fell in love with it. Our couch was delivered one week before we had him. After losing our son and coming home from the hospital, the couch held us. We spent months together on the couch holding each other and grieving. Family and friends holding us, sitting with us, and sharing stories from my pregnancy all took place on the couch. Now, we sit and hold our twin girls and tell them all about their brother.”

“I just love stories behind pieces. I love to go to flea markets and search as if I were on a treasure hunt to find gold. So many pieces in our home come from travels and flea markets.”

“I am a pretty tidy person, but I am so happy to have baby stuff laying around our home.”

“As of right now, the girls don't have their own room. We co-sleep and share our bedroom with them, seeing as we live in a one bedroom.”

“My kitchen. I wasn't much of a cook before I got pregnant, but within the last two years, I have really fallen in love with cooking. It's really therapeutic for me.”

“Life has changed in many ways. I wake up to two little beams of light staring in my eyes, smiling and excited to see me. There's truly no better way to wake up. I prefer that over my alarm! I think the only challenging thing for me is, I use to be really good a self care. I would meditate in the morning and then go on a hike most days. That has completely stopped. I know eventually I will get to a place where I can find time for me again.”

“How fast they grow! I cried when they grew out of their preemie clothes and into newborn sizes—it was just happening way too fast. I felt like I didn't get to appreciate and take in how small they were.”

“Watching them learn how to smile and laugh has been truly the best thing ever.”

“Boys! Just kidding. I think what makes me nervous is body image. I want to be really aware of how I speak about my body in front of my girls and show them that curves are beautiful. I just want to show them how to love yourself for exactly who you are. I hope I have the tools to do that.”

“James and I both got to name one. James picked Quincy Kay—I am from Quincy, Illinois, and he has a late great aunt named Quincy. I actually picked her middle name Kay, which came from my mother Anita Kay who passed away from cancer when I was 15. I chose Rowe James. I am not quite sure where I came up with Rowe, all I know is, I originally wanted to spell it ‘Roe’ and everyone told me I couldn't because of fish eggs, so I said, ‘Fine, I'll throw a W in there!’ James is after her daddy.”

“We wake up and lay in bed with them while we have our coffee. James usually heads to work, and I usually strap them in the stroller and we head out for a nice big long walk. Then it’s back home for some tummy time and playing. When James is off, he will take the girls so I can make dinner. Then, we do bath, bottles, and bed.”

“It's funny, I think about this question all the time. She passed when I was 15 and got sick when I was 13. I catch myself singing a song she sang me or reading a book with silly voices, as she did with me and my siblings. My mother was incredibly loving and her instincts with us kids were spot on. I feel as though I am like her that way.”

“My mom. When she got sick, she didn't let it affect her when it came to her children. She was so strong for us kids and showed us what strength looked like. They gave her six months to live when she got diagnosed, and she ended up living for two more years. She didn't miss anything we participated in. She was there on the side lines or in the audience with her beanie or wig on, cheering or clapping as loud as she could.”

“To forget about cleaning and laundry, just hold those babies!”

“Everyone says it's so crazy to have two, but it's not! If you get them on the same routine, it's easy!”

Elaina wears a white Nico Nico dress. Quincy and Rowe wear striped Nico Nico dresses.

“The Parent's Tao Te Ching, by William Martin.”

“Soul to Soul Spa & Foot Bar. I was a frequent visitor during both pregnancies and after!”

“James is so hands-on with the girls, one person couldn't do it all! We joke at night that it's like we are single parents. Each of us will sleep with one baby and that's the baby you have to care for in the night with feeds and diaper changes—you’re on your own! He is the best daddy ever, he works so hard to provide for us and then comes home and works hard to be with the girls, too.”

“Not really. I am doing the best I can do and I accept that the girls are getting exactly what they need, even if I can't do it all. After all, they chose me to be their mommy!”

“I would love to bring a little brother earth side to our girls and to us.”

“Quincy may be the chattiest person I know. She's super happy and wants to talk to anyone who will look her way, and if they don't, she'll make sure to let them know she's there. Rowe is our little sensitive sweetie. She's so cuddly and wants to be with Mommy or Daddy all the time. She lights up when we hold her.”

“This is a loaded question for me. There are many parts to his birth story that were tragic and traumatic, but there were moments of beauty for me, feeling really powerful and truly feeling the essence of being a female, as far as birthing goes.”

“I had been laboring at home for two days with my doulas. The whole plan was to go to the hospital when I was in transition to push. I had no idea at this point that he wasn't alive. Once we got to the hospital, they checked to see how far I was dilated and I was at a seven. After checking my dilation, they then took the heart monitor out to check his heart beat (mind you, I was having contractions every minute and didn't have any pain help). As the nurse starting searching for his heart beat her face drew somber. It was then that I knew. The nurse called in the doctor, he looked, and then they called in the head of the department, who searched. After looking for one second, he delivered the news—they couldn't find our son’s heartbeat, who I had carried for 38 weeks. As any women would do, I lost it. I am losing it right now telling you this. It's not easy for me to go back and tell these experiences that happened to me.”

“After hearing the news that we wouldn't be bringing our boy home, I still had to deliver him. I was given an epidural and it was then that James and I were able to hold each other and grieve our boy. Once I delivered him, James put his face into my face, told me how much he loved me, and blocked me from seeing Lincoln’s body right away. I was scared to see my baby dead. My doula, Vanessa, encouraged me to hold him, and I am so beyond thankful she did. Once they brought Lincoln to me, I got to hold the boy my body had made and that we had been loving on the past nine months. It was really beautiful and healing to see his sweet little face, hands, toes, and body. His head full of hair and is long toes like his daddy. I got to hold him for as long as I wanted. It was so bittersweet. I knew his soul was free, but to hold his body was healing.”

“They couldn't find anything at all to why he passed. It was his choice. I like to think that his soul only needed that nine months of love in my body.”

“It was really challenging. When we first came home, I felt like I was in a Twilight Zone episode. Nothing felt real. I was in such disbelief that we didn't get to bring our baby home. We were so sad—the kind of sad where your body aches from the pain. I just couldn't see the light and couldn't understand why the universe took my mom from me and now my baby. I felt like my soul had the worst karma. It went from dark to light, gradually. I started meditating and talking to Lincoln through meditation. I found that to be so helpful. I started reading The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer, and it was then that I got a lot of clarity and a new understanding on how to move forward in the light. I did a lot of calling on my spirit baby through meditation. Calling on a soul that wanted to stay with us earth side and letting him know that we were totally safe, to stay, and that he would be loved so immensely.”

“Our community, especially my girls. I felt so loved and taken care of. I didn't like when people would ask me about him—it would be this heavy conversation and often dark. I wanted to honor him and his choice, and speak of him in the light. I just didn't want to be sad anymore. I wanted him to know we love him and that it was okay.”

“To trust that you are so taken care of. Trust that you will get through it. Trust that there is a bright rainbow through this dark cloud. To trust.”

“Just be there. Don't say, ‘Can I bring you anything?’ or ‘When’s a good time to come?’ Show up and be there. Hold your friends. Watch junk TV, eat candy, and don't talk. Or talk, cry, and hold one another. Just show up, sit next to them, and let them guide you to what they need.”

“No, I had no fear with the girls, surprisingly. I did so much work to truly trust what the universe had in store for me, and to trust no matter the outcome, that it was what was meant to be. I just knew I wasn't going to be given another challenge. I knew my girls were coming home to be safe and sound.”

“It is really hard. I often say, ‘No it's not my first and I have/had a son.’ To be totally honest, there are days that I don't have it in me to be honest with people when they ask. It's too hard to have to explain it every time. Then there are days I want to talk about him and share our story. It really depends on how I am feeling. It eats me alive, though, when I say, ‘Yes, these are my only children’. I feel as though I am not honoring him.”

“There is so much support out there and people who want to support you. Let them.”

“Less is more.”

Elaina wears a green Sugar Candy Mountain dress.

“Only the size has.”

“Not really, because I wear a lot of dresses. It was pretty easy!”

“All of my Christy Dawn. They are so comfy and effortlessly beautiful.”

“Christy Dawn, Sugar Candy Mountain, First Rite, Dôen, and I am not mad at Zara.”

“Three large zucchinis, spiralzed, a handful of roasted sunflower seeds, a handful of parmesan cheese, pesto, and diced cherry tomatoes. Combine and serve!”

“It's All Easy by Gwyneth Paltrow! Everything in that book is truly easy and incredibly delicious. I cook from it most nights.”

“I don't really have one. I don't really wear make up, I just use moisturizer daily!”

“I love being outdoors! If I could go hiking every day, I would, and I always do when I get the time!”

Quincy and Rowe wear white Baby Gap dresses.

 “I am a freelance Art Director. James and I work together as a two-in-one Photographer and Art Director combo!”

“I used to be a model and always really enjoyed the creative side of it more—behind the camera. I went to school for photography and quickly learned I had the eye to set up the shot, but not the technical side to shoot it.”

“How creative I get to be. It truly excites me.”

Elaina wears a white Dôen dress. Quincy and Rowe wear Kic Kee Pants PJs.

“Good question—motherhood at the moment!”

“I’ve learned that I get to be just as creative being a mom as I do being an art director.”

“I am still trying to figure that part out! As of now, I am home with the girls and have done a couple of jobs here and there, but it kills me to be away from them for too long!”

“That everything you can basically imagine experiencing is at our fingertips!”

“Superba Food and Bread! There is so much space and they always accommodate our giant stroller. Plus, the food is delicious.”

“Vermont! I'd move there to raise our children in a heartbeat. Lincoln, VT at Zeno Mountain Farm is where James and I met 5 years ago. It's such a beautiful special place to us. We go every summer for months at a time. Lincoln has my heart.”

To follow along with Elaina, Quincy Kay, and Rowe James check out her Instagram feed.