KELTY:  "My husband and I started our farm nine years ago, and Hannah’s family moved onto the property in 2016. Our families live in small 1950s homes on opposite corners of the 24-acre space. It’s a unique piece of land situated on the edge of the urban growth boundary, which means we’re very close-in to Portland. Since settling here, we’ve watched as countless suburban homes have sprouted up around us, making the farm feel even more like an oasis. We’re incredibly fortunate to have a landlord who, along with her wonderful family, supports the farm’s mission—and our communal living!"

HANNAH (Pictured):  "Kelty’s family had been living on the farm for several years when my family decided to downsize from our home in Portland so that we could pursue our dreams with work. I had my eye on the 700-square-foot, somewhat-dilapidated cottage at the back of Kelty’s property that had been used as employee housing for the farm. When I showed it to my husband as a possibility for us, he thought I was joking. It had wonderful bones, but had been long-neglected by the former tenants. We’ve been here three years and I feel so grateful."

KELTY: "Colorful, cozy, eclectic."

HANNAH: "Cheerful, verdant, intentional."

KELTY: "The decision was kind of a no-brainer for me….We both had babies and Hannah lived 45 minutes away in East Portland. Let’s just say my daughter was an uncomfortable commuter, which made the drives torturous, and we felt like seeing each other once a week wasn’t enough. It took a year or so to become a reality, but we can’t really picture our families ever living apart again."

HANNAH: "Before we started Upbringing, Kelty and I had worked together for the past ten years or so in photography and design, and once we had kids it felt impossible to make the commute. My husband Alex had been working at a motion design agency and the hours were killing him, not to mention his creative spirit. I somehow convinced him to sell our house and move out to the farm so that we could spend less money and gain more when it came to family, nature, and quality of life. We’re all just better together."

KELTY: "The farm is 24 acres of pasture, woodlot, pond, and vegetable and fruit production. My house is on the road at the north end, and Hannah’s cottage is on the southeastern corner—about 300 yards apart. It takes us about three minutes to walk between! The farm itself is a big communal space for adventuring, feeding the chickens, pigs or lambs, hanging out on a tractor, harvesting a snack, or lovingly bugging the farm employees who live in a couple of trailers on the property, too. We each have a backyard picnic setup where we spend time together and apart, and we are awaiting spring when we can cobble together some new outdoor play space and spend drier, warmer time outside."

KELTY: "Three years ago, before we had our second baby, we acknowledged we were quickly outgrowing our 800-square-foot home. We converted the garage side into an extended living and dining space and flipped our old living room into a master bedroom. It was an intimidating idea to nix the garage and all the boxes in it, but paring everything down helped us zero in and better protect the magazine stacks, old clothes of ours, and various knicknacks we’re saving for the kids. The open-concept post renovation has been a life-saver for our running brood, and the kitchen, which had been incredibly dark, opened into lightness. We kept the original cupboards, drawers and handles and tried to maintain the farmhouse feel, a nod to our landlord’s family and the history of the home."

HANNAH: "The cottage was basically uninhabitable for kids when we planned to move in, but we didn’t have a large budget to make big updates. Turns out some simple upgrades like paint, carpets, windows, kitchen backsplash, and bathroom fixtures have transformed it into Home. We dream of a slightly larger, partially communal house for our families that houses offices, guest rooms and separate kid rooms, but for now we’re hanging in and grateful to be in close quarters during these days when our kids actually want to hang out with us! It’s an old house and we’ve had to roll with the punches—walls and ceilings that are flimsy and tough to hang stuff on, a back door that often gets stuck closed, no dishwasher, and a septic that is on its last legs. We try to look at these things as quirky farm house eccentricities. We had to switch over to a composting toilet to be able to stay living here—the epitome of glamorous farm living!"

Hannah wears a vintage robe from Barcelona, a Babaa knit tank, and L.F.Markey pants.

KELTY: "I think we’re both recovering over-clutterers. It’s been such a process to see less as more! My emerging philosophy has been to decorate with durable items that bring me joy and/or remind me of a person, time, or place. I used to think that decorating a home happened only one time, but Hannah has helped me feel a freedom to re-approach spaces every few months to check alignment so they still feel functional and fulfilling. Our home is evolving right along with us. She has such an eye for balance and has helped stage and orient a lot of nooks at my place without buying anything new. Our mom’s decorating style and use of plants, colorful rugs, mid-century furniture, and personal art has been a big influence for me. Childhood friends and family visit our place for the first time and say, 'Ahhhh this feels familiar…' Even after the renovation, it's far from a big home. It felt important to create small spaces that one or two people could abscond to for play or conversation, and we’ve really tried to create ample sitting space for adults to be nearby while the kids play."

"Hiding the TV felt important to us, so we framed a large black-and-white photo of our beloved dog Mowgli that a close friend took years ago. We mounted velcro on the back of it against the credenza. It feels like a win on a lot of levels because we often forget the TV is even there, and also get to look at a photo we love instead of a big black surface. I highly recommend it! We have a touch of crazy plant lady in both our homes, inherited from our mom, aunt, and great aunt. It’s been a challenge to learn by trial and error which plants thrive where and why, especially considering that we have so much less time to dote on them since having kids. When people remark on the number of plants we have, I always feel compelled to point out that none of them is really thriving and that they’re actually all just sloooowly dying! Our florist friends from Solabee have promised to come over one day and advise which should be repotted, moved, pruned, or fertilized. Apparently that’s a thing? Plant coaching."

HANNAH: "We grew up in a home packed with family history and personality—rich colors, vintage woods, large plants, our dad’s African masks and percussion instruments, our mom’s artwork, and old books and albums passed down; that’s what home feels like to us. My husband’s parents are from France and Chile and love color and texture as well, so he feels at home here, too. I’ve always been a collector and clutterer, but living in such a small space with kids—unsurprisingly—made me feel crazy-overwhelmed. The past few years have invited a painful but ultimately relieving paring down process for my mental health and productivity! I always thought that it was my job to change a home, but this home has really changed me when it comes to intentionality, flexibility, and simple living. I used to believe that whoever dies with the most books/shoes/tchotchkes wins, but after the painful and lengthy process of sorting through and packing up the homes of my parents, grandparents, and late aunt, I feel so much less attached to things. Now I take photos of beloved-but-unnecessary items so that I can give them away with more grace and less regret. We don’t bring a lot of new things into our home, but shit somehow accumulates, so Hand-Me-Down and Goodwill Day happen monthly! That said,  I definitely skew more toward minimalism than Kelty does—I love homes that are packed with personality and eye-candy, but prefer my own to feel like a vacation nook that was designed just for me. Painting the walls something other than white was something I never in a million years thought I would do, but Kelty inspired me to think of our little homes as experiments. Do we like wallpaper? Is tiling fun? Do patterned rugs make us feel crazy or brilliantly hide dirt? Could we pretend to live in a Wes Anderson or Almodovar movie for a while? Someday, I’ll feel more precious about making the 'perfect decisions' for my Forever Home, but right now I’m content as a mad scientist living in my Survive Today Home."

"It’s been a balance to find ways to make upgrades without investing too much money or time, especially since we are renting. We’ve been grateful for the opportunity during breaks in the podcast to consider what’ll pack some punch visually or functionally but not break the bank or waste time we could be using doing something for our brains or bodies. Small details like hardware, soap dispensers, mirrors, and plant pots that I actually like have made a big difference in making it feel more like home over time."

KELTY: "The colorful painting of our Great Aunt Dora, who helped raise us, was something I wanted in the middle of the living room. She was a first generation American from Iceland and was the matriarch of our family, raising our mom and her five siblings alone while teaching high school English in Culver City, California. She gave us a love of gardening, mystery novels, nature walks, and poetry. The bookworm influence of the women in our family led to my need for books in our main living space. Following the renovation, we had no dining room shelving and when my beloved books and tchotchkes finally came back, it felt as though all was right in the world. Beyond books, our shelves house memories—gifts, things we’ve picked up in our travels, family art, photos, and felted animals by our friend Kiyoshi Mino, to name a few. We have a small stretch of rainbow tiling between the kitchen and dining room that makes me happy. Hannah and I trolled the discard room at Pratt & Larson almost four years ago, not quite knowing what we would do with them. One day it just seemed like the perfect space and time to just do it, already! I remember feeling so impacted by ombré and rainbow patterns as a kid, so I like thinking of our kids absorbing that, too, as they pass by throughout the day."

"Our art is all really meaningful to us. The painting over the kids’ bedroom couch was painted by our mom depicting us when we were four or so. She says that all we did every day as kids was play pretend, usually naked, and getting so absorbed we’d refuse meals—she painted it from a photo she took one day while we were in the thick of imaginary adventuring. The kids seem to get a real kick out of it. The first piece of art my husband and I bought together was this huge charcoal rooster by Portland artist April Coppini. We ended up trading work—her art for our branding design—and it has warmed every home we’ve lived in. It hangs in the sala so that we can see it going out to the farm. I love large-scale prints, like the photo over our bed of my husband and me attempting the 'Dirty Dancing move' almost 20 years ago. Seeing it every day helps reconnect me to those magical early days of our relationship that are easy to lose sight of in the parent vortex. It reminds me to stay silly."

HANNAH: "I’m grateful for some sturdy Danish items and vintage rugs I scored on Craigslist years ago that somehow fit in our cottage. Setting Craigslist alerts has been a game changer, but half of the challenge has been not settling for a piece that sooorrrta fits the bill. It takes a bit of time, but I’m always grateful to have waited for the right thing! I have so little wall space in my home that every piece we chose had to be personally meaningful. A framed menu from our favorite childhood restaurant in Barcelona, a mosaic painting in our bedroom by my mom, collaged photos of my husband and me that Kelty made from our wedding day, a fiber art piece from Luna Munoz of Chinchilla that Kelty gifted me. They’re all touchstones to people I love and places and times I miss."

"My most cherished items are from my Aunt JoAnne’s house in Barcelona. We grew up visiting her over the summers as kids and have deep, sweet memories of playing cards on her Turkish rug—which is now in my bedroom—, eating from her Catalan pottery—which is now in my kitchen—, and admiring her Japanese robe during morning crosswords—which is now a well-worn staple of mine. She was a homebody too, and though I’ve been trying to feel less sentimental about things since I don’t always have space for them, can’t necessarily afford them, or find they likely get damaged by the kids, holding onto a few items of hers has helped me feel like she’s still with me when I’m at home."

"Lastly, We don’t have a TV in our cottage, but music takes up a lot of our time and, luckily, not a lot of space! I forget our Korg piano is even there until I hear my daughter playing it, and mounting our guitar, uke, and melody harp save room for kids toy storage. Playing records together is one of our favorite things to do in the morning and evening to set the tone and connect. I grew up on adult music and believe my kids can, too. I’ve told everyone in my life that from now on, all I want for holidays and birthdays is a record that they think I’d like or music we’ve shared in the past. Only a few have listened, but I’m going to keep trying—I love the idea of a biographical-relational record collection to enjoy, reminisce with, and pass down."

Hannah wears a Just Female sweater, vintage tee, Rachel Antonoff pants, and Kyrgies slippers.

HANNAH: "The challenge of a tiny home is that we don’t have a dedicated 'playroom'—everywhere ends up feeling multi-use! Living small has helped me get intentional about keeping toys and craft stuff simple. It also allows me to see my kids for the capable, imaginative, resourceful beings they are to do more with less, especially since they have the farm at their fingertips. The baskets under our fireplace and on our book shelving hold all the kid’s open-ended toys and paper/markers, and we’ll rotate things in and out to keep it fresh. If we all can’t clean shit up in five minutes, it’s going to Goodwill! The bottom drawers of our bookshelves are where all the 'WTF is this—hide it for now' stuff goes. When I think about it, the kids spend most of their time in imaginative play using non-toys from the kitchen and bedrooms—makes me wonder if it all disappeared, they’d even notice?"

KELTY: "Every room is a playroom in that our kids have full reign of the house for their imaginative play and meanderings but we do keep toys/games, etc. located in the living room. We like keeping the kids’ bedroom primarily toy-free to minimize distractions at night and cleanup shenanigans. Their closet, which until recently housed Inigo’s bed behind black out curtains, is now a mini library of sorts where the kids can sit and read or have some quiet time if they need it. I’ve been known to hide in there. The play area is half of the living room, which we call the sala, and is set up with a basic Montessori shelving concept—bins of open-ended play items like blocks, Magnatiles, Legos, musical instruments, play clothes, pretend food, and kitchen items, primarily. They spend most of their time creating spontaneous and messy tea parties in various locations, inside and out. The kids will set up our marimbas—African xylophones—for a jam every now and then, and we’ll join in to prevent bludgeoning and enjoy the ensuing cacophony! We learned to play with our dad in 5th grade and played into college. Marimbas are great instruments to learn the basics of music—rhythm, chords, etc."

KELTY: "For me, motherhood has been the ultimate personal growth book. I’m always surprised when women maintain they’ve been unchanged by becoming a mother. I can connect to wanting to hold pieces of my former self and life close, but this new phase of my life is both exciting and scary at the same time. It’s been a holistic guide, gently leading me by the hand some days, dragging me by my ankles others."

HANNAH: "Motherhood has become a glittery gateway to talking about the hard stuff with other people, especially parents. It’s given us this strange opportunity to cut the crap and access the human experiences we’re all having but not talking too much about. Since becoming a mom, I am physically unable to engage in small talk—I just don’t exist on that level anymore, and I’m OK with that. Some folks are repelled or at a loss when we meet, but others get a glint in their eyes of relief and excitement to skip the niceties and dive into the good stuff."

HANNAH: "When I found out I was pregnant it took me a while to accept the fact that there was probably just one baby inside me. I’ve grown up with such a twin mentality, and after confronting that expectation I was led to consider other ones I had about sex and gender. I found out the sex of both kids because ANY information felt comforting at the time, but I had no expectation, necessarily, and haven’t with gender since then, either. It looks almost intentional that Kelty and I had girls first and boys second, but their little spirits go beyond their sex and their current gender. My kids have always been keenly perceptive and have generally aligned with gender norms against my best intentions to stay fluid and open-minded for them. I try my best to focus instead on how well they’re getting to know themselves and connecting with one another beyond gender."

KELTY (Pictured): "When I found out my second baby’s sex was male, I have to admit I was thrilled at the symmetry. A girl then a boy for Hannah, then a girl and a boy for me? Crazy. But since that doctor’s appointment it's becoming glaringly obvious that they’re all just little people—that looking at gender in a binary way only limits who they are and who they can become. My son Inigo, for example, wears dresses but identifies as a boy. Why are we so hell bent on defining things like gender, sexuality, self-expression? We had two wonderful women on the podcast last season, Teresa Thorn and Kaeyln Rich, who shared all they have been learning about gender as a social construct. Looking at our kids’ gender as a fluid, ever-changing, and personal thing has helped me immensely to extend that perspective to other areas of their lives as well! It’s truly a load off to bust the binary thinking we have been socially conditioned to have when we look at these incredible little individuals."

Kelty wears an H&M cardigan, Eileen Fisher shirt, and Beklina pants.

HANNAH AND KELTY: "The kids are 3, 4, 5, and 6 now! Their interests are all over the place. All of them enjoy jumping on the trampoline, puzzles, reading, and imaginative play. Wilder, 5, is very project-oriented and likes things like working on her loom or helping cook and prepare meals with us. Inigo, 3, has lately been dragging a rotating assortment of stuffed animals on a leash around the house and hiding things for people to find out of place. Roy, 6, is really into music and will sing and experiment on the piano or design a play that she ropes everyone into. Lazlo, 4, has been getting a lot more physical with jumping and rolling off the couch onto pillows and still does a lot of building with his blocks."

"The kids go to a Montessori/RIE preschool and kindergarten about half an hour away. It’s a tough commute for us all in the van, but the care and education they get feels right for us. Their outdoor space is like Swiss Family Robinson with huge tires, climbing walls, bins and sivs, rakes and chalk. Their focus and play stamina have grown so much since being there, and the guides really focus on supporting emotional intelligence, personal responsibility, and collaboration—basically all we can really hope they work to learn at this age—besides having FUN!"

KELTY: "I think I always knew I wanted to be a mother, though I didn’t know what that actually meant until it happened. I’ve slowly realized that parenthood is basically a mass conspiracy—everyone does it, but so few share what it actually looks and feels like. I had no idea that being a parent meant that I’d also wear the hat of a therapist, nurse, housekeeper, cook, nanny, and personal shopper. I have this urge to tell everyone considering parenthood to get therapy and spend some time with a family before they take the plunge. And I don’t mean spend time with kids at a birthday party or reading to them a few times…I mean be a fly on the wall through dinnertime or bedtime, caregive a collicky infant for a day, and listen to the division of labor struggles women are often going through. If I’d known all of that, I think I’d still have decided to be a parent, but I know many people who might have changed their minds, limited themselves to one kid or waited longer."

HANNAH: "Yes, but 'when'—not if—took precedence for me, personally. Our mom had us in her early 20s and always made it sound like having kids young was the ultimate move to make so that we could have the energy required for kid-rearing. In more recent years, she’s mentioned how she lost touch with the future she’d expected as an artist and actress when she became a mother, and that was hard for me to hear. I held out on starting a family until it felt right to me, around when I turned thirty, and I’m so glad I did. I had time to get to know my husband before we were thrown into chronic, high-stress caregiving and logistical planning. We raised two minpins and man, the relationship dynamics and communication we worked through with them was immense! I also had time to start grad school, drop out, partner up with Kelty and travel extensively on work trips with her, which I cherish so much. I had time to learn Transcendental Meditation and figure out that certain foods made me sick and crazy. My relationships, personal growth, and work are still evolving with kids in my life, and everyone’s gotta find the right time for them, but sliding doors exercises always bring me back to my own acceptance and gratitude."

HANNAH AND KELTY: "We had the bright idea to get pregnant at the same time seven years ago, but THANK GOD we ended up staggering our girls eight months apart. How else would we have been there for births and nursing and laundry and all the things?! We had one another as our blessed third wheels in almost identical births that went over 30 hours with back labor and over three hours pushing. Our second births were quite different—Hannah had a c-section and Kelty’s labor to baby was one hour total. We look back on our births with eyes squinted and hearts full for what our bodies and babes accomplished."

HANNAH AND KELTY: "We were fortunate that our photography and design work as The Weaver House was a flexible self-employment situation without a ton of financial pressure at the time. We kept all four kids home with us until each was a little over two years old, after which they went to Montessori a few days per week. During that time we were still able to work part time doing branding and photos for artists and small businesses. It was a hard situation, though, because the lines between parenting and working were beyond blurry! We weren’t doing any screen time for the kids in the early years, so working on our computers wasn’t an option, which meant high pressures and expectations for nap times. We struggled with feeling like we weren’t doing either thing—work or parenting—as well as we would like, and it took time to compartmentalize each of our roles, finding ways to just be in the moment with kids or work, however that shook out. Last summer, all four kid began Montessori together and we began to feel a sense of clarity and freedom that we had struggled to find before. We’re still working on keeping our minds in our present situation, as juggling all the things can so easily disconnect us from the beautiful moments flying by."

HANNAH AND KELTY: "We discovered RIE parenting as young parents and it changed the course of our parenting experience and work. The basic principles are connected to practicing a sensitive awareness of our babies as capable equals, worthy of our respect and thoughtful support. It truly took a huge pressure off our shoulders and helped us shift our energy away from micromanaging, entertaining, and generally over-controlling, to a more mindful space of trust and connection. RIE inspired us to communicate authentically with our babies, bring them as active participants into their caregiving activities, support their independent play, allow them to develop their motor skills naturally, encourage them to express their emotions and inner-directedness, and trust that our modeling of skills and values is more than enough. Basically, the opposite of what we thought we should be doing as parents. RIE resonated immediately and at the same time, was a counter-intuitive approach that took a lot of practice to integrate. And not in a 'follow these steps' way, but in a 'what’s their job and what’s my job?' way where we got to really think about our cultural conditioning, impulses, and the WHY behind our beliefs and actions. Janet Lansbury is the most well known RIE practitioner and has a great blog and a podcast called Unruffled that we highly recommend! We have a resources page on our website that continues to filter our most relevant parenting, personal-development and health go-tos."

HANNAH AND KELTY: "We’re smitten by any mom who’s willing to call it like it is, from Ali Wong and Alison Pill to our friends and family to the amazing women we’ve met on Instagram who speak so vulnerably and honestly about their lives. It’s a rare bird that can acknowledge how difficult and hilarious this role is while also showing intention about DOING something to improve it! We’re also beyond inspired by reading feminist authors and activists like bell hooks and Audre Lorde who wrote about the hard stuff, specifically around how their feminism intersects with other identities, including their role as mother. We need to keep conversations going that focus on that alignment of values and discuss what things FEEL like more than what things LOOK like when it comes to parenting and motherhood."

A portrait of Hannah and Kely, age 4, painted by their mother.

HANNAH AND KELTY: "We grew up in a small neighborhood just outside Portland, built in the '50s, and did the free-range thing from school to friends to the neighborhood pool and back. If we weren’t in the trees or the pool we were at home reading, stapling books together, or making jewelry to hock to our neighbors! Our mom was an artist and our dad was a musician who both taught high school French and Spanish—they left us to do our own thing a lot, or we hung out with them as they worked or spent time with friends. We have a lot of memories watering plants, gardening, cooking, and doing crossword puzzles with our Great Aunt Dora, who also lived with us. We spent a lot of time in the burbs, but going downtown for our dad’s music gigs and to the Unitarian Universalist church on Sundays opened our eyes to diversity, mother earth, and social justice."

"Our upbringing was impacted greatly by spending summers just north of Barcelona at our aunt’s home. The neighborhood kids took us under their wing and let us tag along to soccer games, mountain hikes, and trips to the village for warm french bread with Nutella and bottles of Fanta. Amidst our harder middle school years, we could access our summer experiences to bring us comfort, thinking to ourselves: right now, as I eat my cafeteria chicken fried steak and mashed potatoes, what’s fresh at the neighborhood bakery in Aunt JoAnne’s village? As I’m sitting in front of this perplexing math test, is the water clear or murky down at the Barcelona beach? Another life was happening apart from ours right then, and picturing it beside ours helped two very sensitive girls understand that their personal experience wasn’t necessarily 'reality.' A whole world of otherness was happening around them."

KELTY: "Experimental, focused, forgiving."

HANNAH: "Intentional, receptive, evolving."

Kelty wears a vintage button up, Topshop pants, and Kyrgies slippers. Hannah wears a Paloma blouse, Levi's corduroys, and a Madewell sweater.

HANNAH AND KELTY: "Somehow the four of us are all essentially aligned on our parenting practices. It’s a miracle, considering we’re all integrating our own childhoods, values as adults, and unique partner relationships! Our parenting intentions and approach are probably so closely aligned because we’re all closely aligned on most other things, if that makes sense. Something we are finding ourselves on slightly different pages is with our girls’ upcoming grade school plan. Do we continue with Montessori? Support public or charter school? How will our kids best learn, how can we support education for all, how can we not go broke, how can we find that middle way that feels best for us? It’s uncomfortable but we know we’ll grow from it."

HANNAH AND KELTY: "The political climate hasn’t changed our parenting as much as motherhood has changed how we align and get honest as people, about our politics. We realized a bit into parenting that we lived one way as women and another way as mothers. As women, we believed that everyone has a right to free speech, body consent, personal expression, and agency in their lives. As parents, though, we noticed our—very natural—impulse to censor our babies’ actions, over-control their bodies, dictate their clothing, and minimize their experiences and feelings. It was a huge wakeup call to realize the unconscious hypocrisy that conventional parenting had conditioned within us—that we were essentially undoing the feminism our kids were born with. Thinking, reading, and listening has helped us break free from these traditional beliefs, tethering and elevating our personal and political selves in a way we never could have anticipated. We now consider ourselves agents of change who are raising agents of change. Free thinkers who are raising freethinkers. Activists who are raising activists. Humans raising humans. Allowing our kids the same freedoms that we fight for and enjoy as adults is no easy feat, but we’re failing forward for an ultimate win-win, one conversation at a time."

HANNAH: "Instead of putting items on your registry for people to buy, add growth opportunities that people can contribute money to: therapy, child development and self-reg books, babysitters, healthy food, and other truly meaningful items that will support your mental health and relationships in the long run. It may not be romantic or exciting, but it’s a gift I wish I’d been given!"

KELTY: "I would say, look inside—not for the answers, but for the questions."

HANNAH AND KELTY: "Yes! Allll the babies and kids we work with alongside parents in our work at Upbringing, which we hope will continue the rest of our lives. Our dearest friends are also starting to have kids, which is super exciting."

HANNAH AND KELTY: "We work together as podcasters, coaches, and speakers, supporting folks as they parent for sanity and social change through our collaboration, Upbringing. Our mission is to empower parents to redefine their kids’ resistance and elevate their discipline, practicing tools beyond the go-to control methods that social norms and conventional parenting have taught us. As new parents we started to realize that we’d been conditioned to believe that focusing our parenting on raising kids for social acceptability was the priority—making sure they behave the right way, say the right things, look how we’d expect. That’s one goal of raising kids, but we’ve come to believe that prioritizing this external agenda can undermine our kids’ inner wisdom and authority. All of our work is geared toward sensitively supporting that spirits so that they can go out into the world and know who they are and what they want—if they know these things, what beauty and positive change can they create?"

"We never considered ourselves feminists until we became parents and realized the impact of the patriarchy in conventional discipline practices—i.e. consequences, time outs, incentives, shaming, over-controlling. We have these unconscious and seriously understandable beliefs about what a parent should do and how a child should behave that aren’t actually based in research, let alone reflect the values we hold as progressive thinkers! We’ve sorted through a lot of these ideas and been open about our struggles with this on Instagram in our Unconscious Hypocrisy series."

"As early parents, we kept hearing these voices in our heads that didn’t feel right in our hearts, and as we read and talked about it more together, we began to shift our thinking and our approach to raising our kids. RIE, Positive Discipline, and Simplicity Parenting were early influences that resonated, empowering us to align our beliefs as people with our practices as parents. Over time, we’ve developed our own research-based system—a brave experiment, really—to elevate our awareness and build our skills as we move through challenges with kids. It comprises our Freedoms Model, Resist Approach, and Empowerments. You can download them on our website for inspiration as you build a unique model and approach that suits your own family!"

Family meals take on a whole new meaning.

KELTY: "In college at Stanford we primarily studied languages—Spanish, Portuguese, French, Italian, and Swahili. We joke that all of our classes were basically an excuse to keep talking to each other, but it’s pretty much true. Playing on the women’s water polo team limited the classes we could take, since practice began at 3 p.m. every day, which was tough because I was into art and design, which were primarily held in the afternoon. Language classes were typically in the morning and became a wonderful way to begin the day and connect with students from around the world in a light-hearted but challenging way. It was sort of like forced social interaction for two introverts who could easily have sat quietly in the corner of classes with any other major."

HANNAH: "After college—and the drama of having to split up all of our clothes and shoes—we lived separately for three or four years in San Francisco, Barcelona, Long Beach, and western Massachusetts before both settling back in the Pacific Northwest. During that time I worked in research, running neuropsych testing and fMRI studies at OHSU and Portland’s VA as Kelty built her photography and web design business, Steep Street, which became The Weaver House when we joined forces. We never thought we’d be back in Portland now, let alone living together, but here we are! Though speaking and coaching is our primary work these days, we still relish the chance to photograph the occasional small business, family or friend’s wedding—access to a unique world and particular time that we can experience and reflect back to them."

HANNAH: "Motherhood was the catalyst for Upbringing, entirely. We had a momentary reflection in our first year or two, something like: How can we expect these certain behaviors and attitudes of our kids that WE can’t even perform and hold up as their parents?! The rest is history; the rest is our ongoing practice. We’re all growing up together!"

KELTY: "Having two highly spirited and sensitive kids was like a crash course in parenting for me. I couldn’t NOT learn about how to support them—I had no choice. And turning those experiences into Upbringing felt, as Elizabeth Gilbert has said, 'less like a calling and more like a screaming.' Being a parent comes with an immense amount of pressure to make our children conform, perform and 'be good'—same for us parents. And yet, most of us have absolutely no understanding of kids’ development, nor do we possess the training in how to support their feelings and crazy-ass behavior. I hear a lot of people describe 'massive overwhelm' as the barrier to exploring the many parenting approaches and resources out there, and I really get that. What we’ve come to realize is that parenting is less about choosing an approach and more about creating your own from what you’re learning. I was so lucky to have Hannah, who got the ball rolling early with parent education for us. We were able to shift our instinctual 'winging it' to a place of curiosity and comfort in not doing it all right or having all the answers. The more we read and explored, the more liberated we felt to keep on growing! Upbringing was born from our constant practice in supporting our challenging, inspiring kids while endeavoring to grow up alongside them."

HANNAH AND KELTY: "We’re incredibly lucky to have two sets of grandparents between us in the area who are excited to spend time with the kids once a week or so. Our farm and friend community is also a strong one and we’re grateful for a few single 'aunties and uncles' who have learned how to put our kids to sleep, bathe them, feed them, all the things. We also have a tight contingent of high school friends who are parents that we happily exchange ranty marco polos with or unite the gang for dinner. Ultimately, we have one another, which has transformed our early childrearing years into a safe, collaborative, supportive process. We can do one other’s laundry, grocery shopping, kid bedtimes, house cleaning."

HANNAH AND KELTY: "We’re a hot mess just like the rest of you. If any of you have it figured out, we’d love to learn from you!"

The girls and their girls.

HANNAH AND KELTY: "We deal with mom guilt every day because we’re human, and we tell ourselves that it’s totally OK because it keeps us in check, in a way. Is the way we’re parenting aligning with how we roll as ladies? Is it living up to our dreams and love for our kids? If not, what could we be doing differently? What skills could we be building? We’re unabashed works in progress, and we try to remind ourselves and others that that is kind of the point of being a parent. What we try to avoid feeling ourselves or triggering in others is mom shame. It isn’t kind, it isn’t productive, and it isn’t going to elevate the conversation for personal and collective growth."

A portrait of the sisters' beloved Great Aunt Dora, a first generation American from Iceland and the matriarch of their family,.

HANNAH: "Portland is an amazing city to live in, but if we’re honest, being introverts and homebodies keeps us on the farm most of the time. While our virtual world has grown bigger with Upbringing, our real world has become intentionally smaller since becoming parents and living farther out on the farm. Fun to us these days is sitting out in the evening with a friends to enjoy a beverage, chips, and salsa. A productive work day is walking through a nature park to talk out our next episode or talk between school drop-off and pick-up. We hit the beach and the gorge every summer, but in reality we prefer to bring the food, drink, friends, and fun to us on the farm!"

The whole gang.

HANNAH AND KELTY: "We daydream of running away to Europe for a stint…or, at the very least, through the middle school years? We have traumatic memories from some of our experiences back then—who didn’t?—and not just because we were 5’11 in 6th grade. We’ve recognized somewhat of an intense desire to protect our kids from the mass-consumerism, body-negativity, excessive-tech scene that is part and parcel of suburban adolescence. Would the Euro version even be any different, we wonder? We also just miss Spain—the food, the language, the people. Imagining the kids walking the cobblestones, hitting the beach, and hopefully staying out of trouble is a dream that we’re holding onto, albeit loosely. Whatever we do, wherever we live, we’re hoping to stick together."

KELTY: "We make the trek into Portland from the farm every week or two, usually for in-person coaching sessions, a PomPom Social meet-up or to visit inspiring lady friends who have small but mighty spots like Monochromatic, Solabee Flowers, Betsy & Iya, and Bar Norman. Portland is changing so fast that we can hardly keep up, but we try to have date nights at delicious nooks we fell for when Justin sold our farm veggies in past seasons: Lovely’s Fifty Fifty, Ava Gene’s, Seastar Bakery, Jacqueline, and Tusk are a few favorites."

HANNAH: "I don’t think I own a single item that isn’t oversized, flowy, or stretchy. When I get home I find that I must change immediately into lounge wear and slippers, a routine I recently realized a lot of women in our family have done, too. I feel like I’m leaving the outside world in my laundry basket so that I can get relaxed and comfortable for home time. When Kelty and I were babies, our mom decided to assign a color spectrum shade for each of us so that we could feel unique—and probably so she could tell us apart, as well! I was given warm colors, so I’ve always gravitated toward reds, oranges, pinks, and creams. My red hair feels like a bright item of clothing and I’m six feet tall, so I rarely feel the need for bold statements and crazy shapes, though I do love a bright, well-tailored coat or blazer."

KELTY: "Comfortable, personal, practical, masculine, feminine, me. Since having kids, I’ve been trying to focus my wardrobe on fewer options and more basics. Button-ups, tees, jeans, and staple garments from places like Tradlands, Everlane, and ARQ have been a guiding light, and I’m smitten with Encourage Vintage for one of a kind gems. All within the cool spectrum of colors, of course."

HANNAH: "The same year I became a mother we lost our Aunt JoAnne to a sudden illness. She was a second mother to us and our daughters were really our only consolation, an antidote to our grief. I stopped looking in the mirror and wore the same thing, usually black exercise wear, for days in a row. I remember submerging a few years into motherhood, noticing I had completely lost the color and intention in my wardrobe. Using clothing to enjoy and express myself has slowly been ebbing back into my life, though patterns have yet to emerge and I still keep it simple—I primarily stick to monochromatic fabrics and casual pieces, since we don’t get out for fancy stuff much right now. Parenthood has inspired me to get honest with what’s the most comfortable while also the most 'me,' not a projection of who I should be. I don’t wear much jewelry besides simple gold, I prefer suits to dresses and, at this point, I only have so much brainspace to devote to how I’m outfitted on a day-to-day basis. Maybe someday that’ll change?"

Hannah (left) wears a L.F.Markey  jumpsuit, a vintage cardigan, and Nike Air high tops. Kelty (right) wears a Wildfang blazer, Mara Hoffman top, and Target pants.

KELTY: "Since becoming a mother, my style has found focus. I feel like I was kind of all over the place before! I guess having less time to think about these things and fewer occasions to experiment contributed to my new vibe. I simply can’t be bothered to care in the ways I used to. I basically only wear clothes that can be mixed in the wash and dried 100%. I’ve given up heels, flowy things, patterns, rainbows, and pared down to what has felt like an essential capsule wardrobe of functional, flexible basics. I feel so good being on the other side of feeling the need to own more 'just in case.'"

HANNAH: "I tend to wear linen and jumpsuits all summer and flowy shirts tucked into jeans or cords all winter. Before moving to the cottage I had a pretty large closet that was overflowing. I purchased frequently and I wore very little of it. It felt like this immense burden I was constantly trying to manage and failing at. I had no choice but to pare down to a single dresser when we moved to the cottage, and it’s been the biggest gift—I’m so much more aware of what I own and how it makes me feel. I can care more about quality and supporting small businesses now that I have fewer items, too, so it’s been a real treat to invest in beautifully made staples from indie designers at Portland shops like Monochromatic and North of West. Mara Hoffman is a favorite I’ve followed for a while as well as Doen’s flowy shirts and Rachel Comey’s leather goods."

KELTY: "I feel my most essential in jeans, a button-up or tee, boots, and lipstick. Madewell jeans and Jungmaven shirts have been my staples this year. Linen and clogs in the summer, Blundstone boots with jeans in the winter. Hannah always has spot-on insight into what I should be considering and why!"

HANNAH: "We’ve been soap, water, lotion people most of our lives and really just started paying attention to and learning more about our skin in our mid-30s. We spent our childhoods through college in the water and sun, so we try to cover up as best we can now that we have the choice. We keep our routine super simple with a Vitamin C serum and face oil in the morning—something like Everyday Oil or SW Basics—with a natural SPF moisturizer. We don’t wear much makeup but have found that adding a bit of Beautycounter undereye concealer, a dewy cheekbone highlighter from Glossier, and some depth to our eyebrows can make us, for some reason, kinder to one another? Lipstick and mascara feel fancy, but we don’t wear them daily at the risk of accidentally rubbing them all over our faces. At night we gently exfoliate, use retinol serum, and natural night cream. Our best friend Marissa gifts us certificates to get facials a few times a year—otherwise we’d forge—and we plan to keep giving ourselves manicures and pedicures until someone opens a night nail salon that offers online scheduling, ala carte services, pays its employees well, serves alcohol, and feels visually and auditorily nourishing. Anyone want to open one in Portland?"

KELTY: "Hannah buys all my beauty stuff."

KELTY: "We’re both highly sensitive kids—overthinkers, strong feelers, prone to worry, and needing ways to calm our bodies to stabilize our minds. Hannah and her husband took part in a Transcendental Meditation training six years ago which got us on a mindfulness practice at home. She and I finally signed on for a Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction course that was amazing. We practiced yoga, meditated, stretched, and ruminated mindfully on our lives so as not to self-destruct in periods of chaos. Our bodies have been impacted from intense high school and college water polo, so we do lower intensity/stress activities these days that nurture our bodies and spirits. We walk long distances, we talk about our feelings, we go to therapy with our partners, we make space for time away from kids, and schedule partner time as best as we’re able. Anything we can do is something."

Hannah (left) wears a L.F.Markey  jumpsuit, a vintage cardigan, and Nike Air high tops. Kelty (right) wears a Richer Poorer tee, Wildfang corduroys,  Cartonnier coat, and New Balance sneakers.

HANNAH AND KELTY: "Being a strong role model is our primary parenting super-power. We really believe that the way we move through life affects how our kids grow and what they believe about themselves and the world more than anything else. We always talk about how our kids are like one big scary ass mirror, held up daily to reflect the many opportunities we have to grow up ourselves—yay! When we can practice patience, speak respectfully, empathize with those we love, problem solve through struggle, apologize, and show that our mistakes are never connected to our lovability or worthiness, they learn that, too."

HANNAH AND KELTY: "Our goals at this point for 2020 are mainly just to be healthy and find gratitude, wisdom, and joy in all that is uncertain right now."

For more on Hannah and Kelty and Upbringing, be sure to follow along on Instagram.