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How Often Do You Have Sex?

Written by Rebekah Cook

Studies continue to show that married couples of all ages reporting higher levels of relationship satisfaction also report having good sex lives. So, when we read statistics like 15-20 percent of couples have sex fewer than 10 times per year, we feel the need to open up the sex topic for discussion.

Intimacy in our relationships, especially sex, is often an important piece of what makes happy couples. When you add a kid into the mix, it can get complicated—you’re tired (for real this time), your libido changes, hormones fluctuate, kids share your bed (for some), and so on. We get it, it can be hard to prioritize with the millions of other things on our mind, and with little bodies in constant need of our attention, sex is sometimes the last thing on our list. If you’re just not feeling into it, perhaps some of the following practical health benefits will help put sex back at the top of the priority list.


Immunity Boost
Studies have shown that individuals who have sex once or twice a week show 30-percent higher levels of an antibody call immunoglobulin A, which is known to boost the immune system. Turns out, there is a better way to fight a cold!

Headache Help
Oxytocin is secreted in your body during sexual arousal and orgasm. Oxytocin releases endorphins. These natural opiates act as a pretty darn good analgesic.

Bladder Control
One of the several not-so-amusing result of childbirth: incontinence. Adding some kegel exercises during intercourse not only can increase pleasure, it also strengthens the muscles associated with incontinence. We’re pretty sure your partner won’t mind at all.

Sounder Sleep
An orgasm will release endorphins into the body, helping you de-stress and relax your mind and body, priming you for serious zzz’s. The hormone prolactin is also released during an orgasm. Prolactic levels are naturally high when we sleep. But take note—if you’re into more active sex routines (more power to you!), it can be more energizing than sleep-inducing, so you might want to make sex-time in the mornings and early afternoons.

Glowing Skin
Sex is a natural way to keep that natural glow long after your baby has arrived. Regular sex (2-3 times per week) promotes the release of testosterone and estrogen, which help keep your body looking young. Estrogen has also been shown to promote soft skin and shiny hair.


Now that you’re on board with getting back in the saddle, here are some ways that can help you get-it-on more regularly.

Schedule It
It might be strange at first, but if your relationship needs sex to be scheduled, don’t be shy, write it down! Plus, if you keep to the schedule, your body might start to get aroused as the time grows near, adding to an even more pleasurable experience.

Booze It Up
If it’s been awhile and you’re having some performance anxiety, grab a couple of brews and relax! Alcohol is known to help people loosen up and have some fun.

Don’t Over Think It
You look around and realize all of the kids are sleeping, or at a friend’s house, whatever—just jump on it! Surprise your partner, even if they are paying bills. They probably won’t care.

Sex-Up your Unmentionables
Our bodies after babies can sometimes make us feel self-conscious. Get some sexy underwear, the ones that you feel sexy in. If you feel sexy, your partner will be turned on. It’s almost guaranteed.

Make it Quick
No time for sex? No problem. 5-10 minute quickies, anywhere you can find the time, are perfect for time management.

So, how about you? When is the last time you had sex? Can you give a quick answer or do you have to think about it for awhile? Did you find that after baby you were more into it or less? Do you believe sex to be an integral piece in establishing marital bliss? Let’s keep the conversation going in the comments below!

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