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How To Bring The “Sexy Back” When You’re Exhausted

Written by Katherine Oakes

Photography by Film still by Chris Craymer

It’s stress—not you—that is to blame for your low sex-drive. Many women often struggle with the effects of mental, physical, and emotional duress due to the pressure we put on ourselves to be a great mother, employee, friend, daughter, and oh right, a doting and dutiful wife and lover. With all those roles and responsibilities piled up in front of our exhausted faces, it’s not easy to check each one off the list. The good news is that bringing that sexy feeling back starts by taking care of yourself and there are plenty of effective holistic ways to put yourself back in the mood for now and later.

Supplements to Boost Your Sexual Health
Rhodiola: This helps to relieve stress and adrenal fatigue (a hormonal imbalance caused by mental, physical, and emotional stress), while also boosting your two biggest pleasure seeking hormones, serotonin, and dopamine. Rhodiola gives you a burst of energy and feels, so take it 30-minutes before hopping into bed.
Evening Primrose Oil: Use Evening Primrose Oil to even out progesterone and estrogen levels for increased circulation and dilation of the blood vessels to make your time together feel even more…ahem, explosive.
Magnesium: If you suffer from stress, fatigue, anxiety or depression you can take magnesium as a supplement to alleviate these symptoms and boost your sex drive if your levels are low.
*Get your levels taken by a doctor to find the appropriate amount of each supplement to take.

Eat your Omega 3s
Eat clean fats like olive oil and coconut oil to enjoy all the benefits that Omega 3 essential fatty oils have to offer. Studies have shown that upping your intake of Omega 3s increase your sex drive and response, so have a handful of walnuts throughout the day or at night for a boost. Leafy greens, dark chocolate, pasta, peanut butter, and fish like halibut, oysters, and trout are also rich sources of Omega 3.

Olfactory Experience
You may not have realized it, but the best way to distract yourself from stressors is right under (re: inside of) your nose! Redirect your attention to the good-smelling candle on your dresser (something musky or strawberry-scented will do), dim the lights to relieve your aching eyes and wait for all those good lovin’ feelings to come rushing in. If you and your partner enjoy giving each other massages then use a scented or unscented non-toxic body oil to lather your lover up with. The sensation of touch can stir you up, especially when your erogenous zones are stimulated. Ask your spouse to focus on your neck and inner thighs to get things going.

Practice Some Self-Care
If you are truly burnt out and in need of sleep, then sleep! Nothing can heal your hormones and even things out like a stress-free night of deep relaxation, whether that means a bath before bed (who knows, maybe your partner can join in later), time alone to rejuvenate, or an early night in. Consider that tending to your own needs can be the best way to satisfy the needs of your spouse.

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