"We have been living in Pasadena for 6 years. After our son passed, we moved out of our house and into our current home. We wanted to start anew. Honestly, it was too heartbreaking for us to live in our old house. We now live in a two bedroom, two bath apartment in downtown Pasadena. We love it. We have been living in this apartment for two years now and I tell my husband I never want to leave. We can walk everywhere and although Ryan never physically lived with us here, I feel him in every nook."

"I typically feel self conscious of my home when people come over. I’m always quick to say 'I wish I had one of those Pinterest-y, well-decorated houses.' But the truth is, my house is my home. It is my safe haven and over the past two years it has grown with us as a family. The aesthetic of our home is unique and inspiring. I try hard to fill our space with heartfelt pieces and photos that help us get through our day, pieces that make us smile or make us remember happy times. I guess it can come across as eclectic, too. "

"Does it make me happy? If the answer is yes, then it stays. If not, then it gets donated or I don’t buy it. I love to keep things simple, with a few pops of fun colors. We don’t really have much money to spend on home decor, so I try to spread out what we do have all over. Decorating for me means adding a funky blanket to spice up our old, decrepit couch. Or adding a potted plant somewhere! I love plants."

"My favorite art piece is the print above my couch. It is called ‘County Line’ and features surfers awaiting their next wave. It is photographed by my friend Max Wagner. I love this piece so much. My husband and I both love the beach and we love how this specific print offers a peaceful vibe. Max and his wife Margaux are two of the most genuine people I know. I adore them. I am lucky to have them in my life, and overjoyed to have a piece of Max’s talent within our home. My potted plants are also part of our family. I love each and every one of them. My dear friend Molly and her boyfriend own a plant shop called Pop Up Greens. I met Molly years ago and we have always had a solid connection. She is one of the strongest girls I know. Having her work featured throughout my home makes me smile. I love being able to support friends. Seeing their craft daily reminds me how lucky I am to have such incredible people in my life, on my team. "

"When Ryan was with us his toys seemed to demand our entire space. We had a toy bin in our living room and of course his room was brimming with cars, monster trucks, and books. Even our bathroom was taken over by squirt toys and floating sharks. I miss it all. I’d gladly take toys strewn across my entire house again. Now with Mila she isn’t into much yet, except wooden teethers. I’ll try to keep it all corralled in a trendy basket, of course, but I can’t wait to play dollies, dress-up, or cars again if she is into that like her brother! You won’t have toys all over the place forever! I say let it take over and play along."

Jacqui wears a Forever 21 dress. Mila wears an Old Navy romper and June and January headband.

"Mila’s room is a little girl's dream. I worked with The Land Of Nod design team to put it together. Working with The Land of Nod was a wonderful experience. Now when family and friends visit, Mila’s room is a hotspot. We always end up in there sitting around chatting. Her space is so bright and inviting. I chose pieces that she would grow into and love playing amongst. I look forward to reading bedtime stories within her teepee!"

"I love her green crib. In fact, that was the first piece I chose for the room. Everything else was chosen based off her green crib. I love her teepee, and her rug is insane! I am quite jealous I don’t have a bad ass rug like that in my living room. It is called the Casablanca rug and it is beautiful. Maybe that's why we always end up in there. That rug attracts us all!"

Mila's Tucker + Tate jacket on top of a faux-leather pouf by Land of Nod.

"Is very important to me to let Mila be Mila without too much influence from her big brother. I wanted to keep her space very much her own. Although, it's also important that she grows up knowing her brother and how incredible he was. I decided the best way to incorporate Ryan was to feature his best art work from preschool. Mila's walls showcase a purple jellyfish made with Ryan’s tiny hand (his fingers are the tentacles), a bright yellow bird, and a bountiful tissue-paper flower basket. When I sit in the rocker nursing or reading to Mila, I like to imagine his tiny hands hard at work during art time at school. I like to think he knew on some level he was creating masterpieces for his sister."

"The biggest surprise was how much I immediately loved my children. That fierce love is the most intense I have ever felt. Only a mother knows that type of love. It is surprising how I can continue throughout the day with having my entire heart living outside my body. I am also surprised at how much I mother just like my own mother. I sometimes catch myself in action and think 'Wow! I sound just like my own mom!'"

"My son, Ryan Cruz, is named after mine and my husband's mothers. Ryan is my mother-in-law’s maiden name. Cruz is my mother’s maiden name. I always knew I wanted to use the name Cruz when I had children. We got lucky to have mothers with such great maiden names. When we found out about Mila, we knew we wanted to name her after our mothers, too. Mila is a name I just adored, but her middle name is Marie. Marie is both my mother-in-law and mother’s middle name. My husband and I love our mamas! They are two of the strongest women we know."

"Traveling with my children excites me. I love taking them everywhere and showing them new places and what they have to offer. Experiencing things through my children’s eyes is the best! I also love milestones! Those are really exciting. Just the other day Mila rolled over for the first time and it was exhilarating! She was so surprised, my husband and I were cheering her on and snapping pictures. She smiled and kept rolling over. I felt so proud. How exciting it is to watch your children learn and grow!"

"I am most nervous of forgetting. I am obsessed with taking photos and writing things down. I take video, too. I just want to remember and have great artifacts to look back on when my children are grown. I am so grateful that I took photos everyday of Ryan. They are treasures and show off how happy and beautiful our life was with him. I am doing it now with Mila, determined to capture an arsenal of memories. So, even if I do forget a few things, I can always remember when looking at our photos."

"Mila and I are glued to each other. I take her everywhere! She wakes up for a feeding around 5 a.m. and then falls back asleep. I typically get up at that point, make a cup of coffee, and answer emails or write content for my blog and Baby Boy Bakery Kids. I hope to get everything work-related done in the morning, so I can dedicate the day to Mila, myself, and my husband. In the afternoon we take walks. We walk everywhere! Depending on the day, we walk to get groceries or to grab lunch with friends. A few times a week I walk around the Rose Bowl stadium, because it's a pretty good workout I can do with Mila in tow. Our days are pretty simple right now. Lots of walks and when we are home we play on the floor. She is still so little, so she sleeps a lot, too. Sometimes I just sit and stare at her!"

"I love celebrity mamas! I like looking at their style and wondering what their daily mom life looks like. I adore Gwyneth Paltrow. Her healthy lifestyle is inspiring. I also love Blake Lively and her style! In terms of real women I know, I find 'mompreneurs' fascinating and fierce! My friend Joy Cho of Oh Joy is such a beautiful soul, wonderful mother, and terrific business woman. It's that trifecta that is inspiring. Of course, my own mother offers such a wealth of inspiration for me as well. I am attracted to strong women."

"First, take tons of photos and video. Even if you think you’ve taken too many, take more! Second, take your children everywhere. Have them experience everything from day one. I swear Mila lives in her Solly Baby Wrap. I wear her everywhere and she is now used to going places. We have a good rhythm when in public, which I am proud of."

"Parenting books and such I have never been into. I think children are all different, along with family dynamics. As a mother I have learned to trust myself. What works for us may not work for others and vice versa. I love seeking advice from family and friends. However, I find I pick and choose what I actually take to heart. I take any advice I receive to fit my own family lifestyle. It is so important to be confident as a mother. It is important to remember that you are your child’s expert. You know best!"

"We are a taco family! I make tacos a few times a week, but I switch up the filling. I am on a sweet potato taco kick lately. We’ll do turkey tacos, or ditch the tortillas and use lettuce for taco shells. Tacos are just so easy. I also love making soups in my crockpot. Plus, the In-N-Out drive-through is always a great idea in a pinch. There is no shame in take-out!"

"I think I parent a lot like my mother. I am pretty strict when it comes to manners and such. I think I have a tendency to spoil my children, too, which I might get from my dad. My parents divorced when I was two, but remained good friends. They both were such great parent role models. I strive to be as good a parent as they were!"

Mila wears a June and January top and Ultra Violet Kids bloomers.

"I find it vital to carve out time for just you and your partner. My husband and I love to walk down to this old travel bookstore a few blocks from our house every few weeks. We have been known to stay in there for a few hours dreaming up future trips. In turn, you have to carve out time with just your little ones. My son and I would go on dates, too. We’d go grab a smoothie then head to the park. Days can become so hectic. It’s important to slow down and do special little things with the people who mean the most to you."

"Yes!"

"I glean strength from my son. It is that simple. I feel him so close and I never want to disappoint him. I want to make him proud. I know that he is watching me and my husband and if we stay in bed or cry all the time, he wouldn’t like that. He would always get so stressed if he saw me upset or cry. I can’t do that to him. I have to live for him and honor him in all that I do. I am still Ryan’s mother. My responsibility to him now is to live. To try and be happy despite the pain I feel."

"Shortly after we lost Ryan my husband and I went to couples therapy. It helped a ton and really showed us the only way to truly navigate this loss was do it together. Other than that, being open and sharing our life has been a huge help. It has opened up the doors to others who struggle with similar stories. It has helped me understand that I am not alone. Doing things that I used to do with Ryan is a huge help, too. It helps me feel him, remember him. I try and do something 'with' Ryan everyday. Whether it is something as simple as reading one of his favorite books, ordering a hot chocolate from Starbucks, or sometimes I’ll sit and hold one of his toys. Those are things that help me. I have’t been to a support group, though my online community has grown to be a version of one."

"It is all the same. It will be the same until I join Ryan up in heaven. Every single day is hard. Waking up, falling asleep. When I see things that remind me of Ryan or hear his favorite songs my breath catches in my throat. I let myself cry and have my moments. In fact, I really let myself be angry or sad when I need to because feeling those feelings makes room for the happy feelings. The grief is the same, I am just gaining strength each day. It is important to understand that when a mother looses her child the hurt and sheer pain will never ease. Time won’t heal, but it is with time that strength grows. With each day we get stronger, more able to withstand the pain."

Jacqui wears a top and jeans by Madewell. Mila wears a Freshly Picked onesie.

"The attention was a shock. This whole experience is shocking. I can’t explain it. I am grateful for the support, because I think it takes a village to do anything. Especially overcome something as tragic as losing someone so close to you. The only thing I knew how to do was talk about my son. Share my son. I think he is the best little boy in the world and as his mother I will always think that. I started my blog Baby Boy Bakery when Ryan was just a baby. For three years I shared my son and our life. When he passed I decided to continue, because why not? He is so beautiful and my fear is to forget! I didn’t want to forget. I certainly didn’t want others to, either. So, here I am now always, always talking about my son. In turn, we have attracted such sweet strangers who prayed for us, kept me and my son in their hearts. I have thousands of emails from parents thanking me, telling me they do more with their children, they take more photos! By sharing my story I have helped people. Now, Baby Boy Bakery has this incredible community of people—mothers, women, girls, parents, grandparents, we all strive to see the good in life. We strive to see the beauty."

"It is extremely hard to explain to everyone that Mila is my second child. I learned that fast while I was pregnant and the number one question was 'Is this your first?.' I never avoid saying she is second! I have two children. I speak of Ryan as if he is standing right by my side. If the conversation gets to the point of his loss, then I say 'My son would have been 5, he is in heaven now,' and I leave it at that. That is my life and I am not afraid to explain it to anyone. I believe God has trusted me with this life and I want to prove to everyone that there is good to be had after the struggle! There is good to be had during the struggle. I also look forward to teaching Mila about her big brother. She will learn to not shy away from telling people she has a big brother in heaven. My son Ryan is too good to avoid talking about!"

"Take your time. Let yourself have your days. Let yourself feel angry, upset, jealous of those who still have their family intact! It isn’t fair! Email me and we can be mad together! But once that anger subsides, I promise there is light. You have to want to see it, so when you are ready it will be there. Once you feel the light it will be good again for a few moments. It will get ugly again, too. Soon you will have the strength to withstand the ebb and flow of your feelings."

"I feel like a momma again! The joy and happiness Mila has brought us is unexplainable! Mila has definitely offered a bit of healing, but she is very much her own little person. My husband and I are making it a point to keep her out of her big brother’s shadow. We don’t compare our children and with the exception of a few baby clothes, Mila has all her own stuff. I want her to grow up knowing her brother, not resenting him because that's all she ever hears about. I do have to admit, I was happy she came out with reddish hair."

"I hope my son provides inspiration to others to live a loud and wild life no matter the ugly they are faced with. I hope when people think of us they remember to capture the moment and revel in the beauty their life holds. You never know what tomorrow brings, so make today the best it can be."

"I run my blog Baby Boy Bakery. I also launched Baby Boy Bakery Kids last fall, which is a brand that houses products that encourage memory keeping. Currently, Baby Boy Bakery Kids has cooking kits that bring parents and children together in the kitchen and a baby journal for mothers to capture their first year with baby."

"I grew up in San Diego, then went to college at Sonoma State University, where I met my husband. During grad school we got pregnant with Ryan and moved into our first apartment in Pasadena. When Ryan was about six months old, I started my blog and the rest is history! I have been writing my blog Baby Boy Bakery for five years now! People think I started this all when I lost Ryan, but I actually started writing my blog shortly after Ryan was born. It was my outlet, a way to document our life."

"Yes! I focus on my children. They always come first. I have a gnarly tendency to let work go when I feel my children need me more."

Jacqui wears a Neve and Hawk dress. Mila wears a June and January dress.

"I am still learning. I mess up a bunch and miss deadlines. I get down on myself, but running a blog and business is hard with a new baby. Plus, there are days that are really hard for no reason at all that I can’t really explain to everyone. You know, grief can rear its ugly head up whenever! I just have to remind myself that I am doing the best that I can."

"I do! My husband and I are lucky that our families live really close by. They are always around and watch our children whenever, so that my husband and I can get alone time. My friends are also so great. I am a firm believer that a coffee date can cure anything! Coffee dates with friends are a favorite of mine! I also lean on my husband, too. We love to go on walks or workout together. I am very grateful to have such incredible people in my life."

"I have some really fun things happening with Baby Boy Bakery Kids this year! I am working with a children's clothing company, Geo Fox Apparel, on a really cool summer capsule line. Right now I am just choosing partnerships that excite me and make the most sense with where I am at in my life currently. I’d love to write a book at some point, too!"

"Pretty simple. I love jeans and funky tops. I love cool shoes with patterns or leather clogs! I gravitate towards comfort. I am also loving dresses right now! They are so easy and you can dress them up or down. Sometimes I throw one on right when I wake up sans bra and underwear and get through my house chores like a champ!"

"The only thing that has changed is my size! My hips have gotten wider since having Mila, but that's ok. My style I feel has stayed the same. I am pretty easy."

"My jeans are staples. I have over 25 pairs and they are each different. I love boyfriend jeans for when I feel bloated. My high-rise jeans are a daily go-to and I can dress those up for a night out, too. My favorite brand for denim is Madewell. I love Ascot + Hart for tops, dresses, and shoes!

"I wear Bare Minerals. I swear by it, actually. I don’t have a night routine, which is awful. I need to start washing my face before bed. As for wellness, I swear by SoulCycle. I am the type if I love something then I love it! I become obsessed. I found SoulCycle a few months after losing my son and it became a place of therapy for me. I left all my negativity on the bike and left feeling refreshed and strong. I have been doing SoulCycle a few times a week for almost two years. If you ever want to go with me, I go to the studio in Pasadena."

"All my tattoos are all about my son. I have six, they are all pretty subtle and small. I have one behind my neck that just looks like a bunch of freckles, but is actually Ryan’s astrological constellation (Virgo)."

"I love the city and all it has to offer. I love that we can walk everywhere and anything we want is close. There is so much diversity here, too. I could see us moving somewhere closer to the beach. My husband's happy place is beach-bound. We have flirted with the idea of moving to Northern California, too. I don’t ever see us leaving California."

"We are always walking! We walk everywhere. I have become a pro at stuffing my stroller with groceries. I can even hustle to grab a latte on the way home from the market before our ice cream melts! Our favorite places in L.A. are Griffith Park and the LACMA. They're both perfect for picnics and running around. Plus, they offer such great views of the city!"

To follow along with Jacqui's (and Mila's) inspiring journey, check her out on Instagram and over at Baby Boy Bakery.