“I call my style Trans-Style. It’s a mix of eras, genres, moods, patterns, and colors. It’s both romantic-whimsical and modern-functional. And it's definitely as much for kids as it is for adults. Most of the pieces we've collected, found in antique stores along the way, or made ourselves (like the spray-painted, graffiti couches), or re-purposed from a store I use to have. Our marble coffee table use to be a display unit!”

Jodie wears a Chloe top and pants from Sincerely Tommy.

A view of the long, artfully divided living room and dining room space.

“There's got to be emotional intelligence in decorating. It should never feel like a showroom. Homes should tell your back story and reveal something deeper about you than just your favorite color. Our story is complex and full of twists and turns. Every piece of our house has history. The art, which is mostly portraits, tells you right away that I'm into the human story!”

“I love the portrait of a woman in a hat and bowtie. She's so mesmerizing. And then there's the one of the man who is posing like Frida Kahlo. I also love my marble desk—it's wide and long and can handle all the different projects I'm working on at one time. It’s traveled with me to five houses over the past 16 years.”

One of many photo-collaged walls.

“For my first child, Georgia, I thought I was having a boy and I was thinking of boy names. When I found out I was having a girl I really had to adjust to that reality, which was difficult at first. I wanted a strong name and I thought about calling her George, even though she was a girl. Then my mom said, ‘No way!’ My family is from Georgia, so that was a great option. It really fits with my Southern roots and also with her personality. She’s a feminist, but very gentle. She’s the queen bee because she is the only girl.”

Othello, 6, wears Levi's jeans.

“Cassius, my 10-year-old, was named after Cassius Clay, which is Muhammad Ali’s given name. Cassius is super smart, he’s skipped two grades. He brings his microscope to the dinner table. He is always buried in a 300-page book. He keeps dictionaries in his bed to translate things into four different languages. His mind is always deep at work. We call him the President.”

Cassius, 10, wears a J.Crew sweater and Levi's jeans.

“Penelope was named after his paternal grandmother. His middle name is Gloria, which is his other grandmother’s name. All of my children have really long names, including names from Ghana, based on the day of the week they were born. Penelope is super athletic and really outgoing. He is always looking in the mirror and is really into outfits and cool clothing. He’s a rockstar and he is very charismatic.”

Penelope, 8, wears Levi's jeans.

“My [adopted son] Nain (pronounced like the number nine) is 25. He is a musical prodigy and classically trained flutist who studied at Juilliard. Now he makes ‘urban futuristic’ music. He is extremely talented. He is kind of like a man child. He is so mature in many ways, but still boyish in many ways.”

“Othello, who is 6, was named after the Shakespearean play. He’s the baby. He’s a wisecrack. He’s always into mischief and always trying to annoy his older brothers. He is extremely handsome. He’s a little whippersnapper who is always trying to play a practical joke.”

“The two youngest share a room with four beds in it. Everyone winds up there at some point. And they love it. My 10-year-old likes to read at night, spend time by himself, and wake up at 5 a.m.! So, he has his own room. I've also sanctioned off a separate room for my teenager for when she's here. No one is allowed to go in it.”

“I love the world map wallpaper I put in. It’s wall-to-wall and so beautiful. It makes us think like global citizens even if in reality we drive most places for budgetary reasons. I also put in a mini trampoline in their room, which I got from Amazon. It’s great for letting off steam at the end of the day. In Georgia's room, she has a great origami-like light fixture that makes beautiful shadows on her walls.”

Crashing mom and dad's room.

"Hell no! Nobody sleeps in my bed these days. Not even my husband sometimes! I really love sleeping like a starfish and spreading out. There was a time when everyone was in my bed, with nursing and just everything. So, I really relish no kids in the bed."

“We've lived in lofts for so long, I'm use to sharing space. Now that we're in a brownstone, I've kept up that habit. It’s almost impossible for me to segregate space according to age. I've had the most pleasure when I can work at my desk and my kids can do art projects next to me at the little table by my side. I like how we flow from room to room together. But, if need be, our house is big enough that when I need a reprise, I can find it anywhere—even in my kid's oversized playhouse.”

“There were some obvious surprises, like ‘Wow, my body actually did that!’ and the amount of pain you can endure. Then there is no physical reverb once the birth was over, the pain was just gone. It was surprising how physically powerful that was. Everything else in the beginning came very easily with my first child, Georgia. She was a girl and that was all very familiar to me. My second child is a boy and that was totally unfamiliar to me. With my daughter, I had a mother, sisters, and aunties as reference points. With my son it was all new and different. I remember telling my husband that I was worried about my son, I thought he was sick, like sick in the head. The way he was playing toys was so different. He would methodically line up his toys and his trucks together. But then I learned that was all normal. Adapting to a different type of child was surprising. Then, my next big surprised was my third child, a transgender boy. Sometimes your children will be on a path that you have no reference point for, yet still you need to rise to occasion and join them on that path. You end up doing things that you never envisioned and you tap into things you thought were unrelatable.”

Jodie wears a vintage top and J.Crew jeans.

“He was born a physically and anatomically perfect little girl. I thought it was great, I already had one girl and I knew what I was doing. From day one, Penelope was a happy, smiley baby and a very easy third child. But by the end of the second year we were experiencing a very different and troubled child. There was a lot of nail biting, anxiety, anger, bedwetting, chronic nightmares, he was confrontational. All of his first sentences were very negative. He said a lot of no’s. He was would say, ‘No I don’t want to wear that’ or ‘Don’t call me baby,’ which was Penelope’s nickname at the time. He was a kid full of no’s. There was a lot of rude behavior and a lot of bullying with his siblings and other children. You could tell it was more than just temper tantrums. He was carrying something very heavy on his shoulders.”

“One day, when Penelope was almost 3, we were at our house in Pennsylvania and he was acting like a real jerk toward his siblings, knocking over toys and he was very angry. I pulled Penelope aside and said, ‘Baby, why are you so upset?’ He just started crying and said, ‘Everyone thinks I’m a girl and I’m not.’ I said, ‘That’s fine, however you’re feeling on the inside is ok.’ I thought he was just talking about how people were treating him and he wanted to be seen as tough and respected. But then he said, ‘I don’t feel like a boy mama, I am a boy.’ And I understood this wasn't about emotions or feelings, this was about his brain, this was about identity. As I learned, around 2-years-old, the brain starts to self-identify and put itself in context. Normally we see ourselves in the same way that the world sees us in our bodies. But for Penelope, he was going through this normal process but something wasn’t making sense to him. It just so happened to be the right environment for a kid to say exactly how he felt.”

Penelope, left; Othello, right.

“At first I felt like I had done something wrong. I had all of this guilt. I felt like I hadn’t instilled a sense of pride, I thought I didn’t talk enough about strong women leaders or warriors. Then I became scared and started to think, ‘Who is going to love Penelope?’ I fast forwarded into all of these different ideas I had about transgender people. I thought it was going to be a long, hard road for Penelope. Then, I started to do a lot of research. I found other families that experienced this, like Jazz Jennings. I did tons of research and really tried to become an expert. Eventually I moved to advocacy. It is not unlike other movements, such as the Civil Rights movement. This is about human rights. I just embraced it in the same way that my family embraced Civil Rights, on the front line. There was a lot of intellectual advocacy and passion because you know it’s the right thing. We never stopped or tried to hide or pretend Penelope wasn’t trans.”

“It wasn’t easy, because I was the only one who had that conversation with him. So, when I walked out of the room an hour later, I didn’t see him in my heart as a 'she' anymore. But I was still processing it. I shared it with my husband and he blew it off, like it was a tomboy thing. We didn’t really embrace it, the two of us together. I was doing the behind-the-scenes stuff. And he was still interacting with Penelope as his princess and little girl, as was everyone else in the family. We had allowed Penelope to cut his hair and wear what he wanted. But in our minds we were still seeing him as a girl. We didn’t change our language, but we changed our expectations of behaviors. It was easy for his siblings, who understood him beyond labels. And his schoolmates understood, they were saying ‘he’ and ‘him’ way before the adults were. That was kind of cool, to see kids just move right past it. The adults were struggling with it. My husband was moving slower, I was moving faster. My family is Southern and traditional and my mother didn’t understand it. ‘Why would you let your kid lead?’ she wanted to know. Joe’s side of the family is African, from Ghana, and also very traditional. On his side they were very quiet about it. It took awhile for the families to see it as something real, something I wasn’t influencing. There was never an aggressive attitude about it, but there was avoidance and misunderstanding. Now the misunderstanding is gone, some of the avoidance is there. But overall, it’s a non-issue. Penelope feels super embraced by the whole family.”

“I didn’t even know what the word transgender meant. I knew the word transexual. I saw things in movies, like Paris is Burning, where kids were different. There were real psychopaths, like in Silence of the Lambs, where it was obvious that the character was really gender fluid. But these were really sad stories and that was all that I knew up to that point. I knew what ‘gay’ and ‘bisexual’ were, but I was very confused. I didn’t know if this was a sexual orientation thing or a mental issue. All of the images from the media were flooding in and over taking. I thought of gender as simple, there was male and female. I didn’t realized there was any other way to look at it. Then I had Penelope and I realized that my perspective was so limited.”

“I now know that gender is a spectrum and there are endless nuances in how we identify. Right now we are in a moment where transgender is being understood, but by next year or next century there may be a new way that we understand it. I think the ways we identify are limitless and gender is a part of that. It is not black and white, just male/female. Someone like Penelope identifies as a boy, but his behavior isn’t always what we consider typical male, he embodies a lot of everything. How he expresses himself is not just in a typical ‘boy way.’ He said to me the other day, ‘Can somebody please explain to people that you don’t need to lift weights to be a man.’ He loves karate, he does one arm push-ups. He’s much more aggressive than my other kids. He’s great at math and very type A. He’s giddy, very talkative, and loves art, he writes me loves letters and leaves them under my pillow everyday, he loves doing facials with me. He doesn’t see his behavior as gender specific. He is both sides. He does both ‘girl things’ and ‘boy things’, but he definitely identifies as a boy.”

“I think most people see me as really positive and uplifted. There are the obvious, really sad parts and I just try not to go there because they are so obvious. There is the fear for your child that what you had in life isn’t theirs to have. The path that the rest of my family has taken isn’t available for Penelope. Take hate crimes, for example, or suicide. The suicide rate for trans teens is extremely high. The rates of AIDS and homelessness among trans people is also really high and the rates are even higher among trans minorities. All of these things were things I didn’t think I would have to worry about. I worry about the fact that right now I can curate his life and make sure we are around people who are queer-friendly. High school, which is right around the corner, makes me really nervous. Puberty and experiencing the world on his own are scary. If I had to think back, it was really scary to be outed by people. For example, in a karate class another parent yelled out, ‘That’s a girl, that’s a girl.’ This was after we fully embraced Penelope as a boy. The implications of someone outing you is scary because those people are really angry. But also it was really embarrassing and deflating for Penelope.”

“Penelope and all of the other Penelope’s out there are normal, healthy children. The complications that any child might have doesn’t come from being trans, it comes from all of the other boxes we put ourselves in. I’m still trying to figure out my other, non-trans children, too. Penelope is kind of my easiest child. We shouldn’t look as trans children as problem children or special needs. We need to change the way we’re thinking and not see being trans as a problem.”

“There are a lot of great resources out there. The Ackerman Institute for Family is great for all kinds of family needs, but they have a gender project that’s specific for transgenders, the Gender and Family Project. It’s phenomenal. PFlag is another organization that has a ton of great information. They have parents' groups and kids’ groups. The first book I ever read about trans issues, Transgender 101, was really enlightening. Camp Aranu’tiq is a great experience for the whole family. There are about 100 other families there and you really don’t know who is trans. You go for a long weekend and the kids get a chance to just play and the adults have a chance to break away and have deeper conversation. Sleepaway camp can be really difficult for a trans kid. From the changing to all the separation based on gender. It really alleviates all of the stress that may normally be involved. There are a lot of great conferences out there. Gender Conference East is a great one that I will be attending this year. I recommend researching conferences in your area.”

"That was a reminder of blind faith. There was really no logical reason why we adopted him. He was 19, a grown man, and very different from my biological children. His trajectory was very different, but something was compelling and unexplainable. It was magical and I was really surprised by the magic of non-biological, mother-child relationships. There are so many different ways that a family can come together. In this case I was making the decision to become a mom again in a very intentional way.”

“We weren’t planning on adopting. I had a store on the Bowery at the time that was open until midnight. So, I would always get interesting characters coming in, drunk shopping or just hanging out. One night my girlfriend and I were in the store and this kid walked in who was really handsome and super entertaining. We were talking about old-school music and skateboarding and we had a great conversation. Then another night he came back, and then another night, and we’d always hang out at nights at the store and he started to help me lock up and take the garbage out. I would end up driving him to the train station and he didn’t even want to get out of the car to go home. Eventually, I just invited him over for dinner. It doesn’t even sound logical to invite someone you don’t know over for dinner, let alone the fact that my husband was out of the country at the time. But I invited him over and we all just hit it off immediately. Long story short, when my husband came back from his trip overseas, I said ‘Guess what? We have another kid…’ And his response was ‘This is crazy. This is a man and you’ve let him into our house.’ So, he kicked him out, but over time they developed their own relationship and he officially moved in with us for several years. It doesn’t seem logical, but it made total sense. His story is nuanced. His biological family is not poor in the way most people see it, they are homeowners, they are professionals, and they have a house in Pennsylvania like we do. But there was a deficit. And if I ever tried to deny that relationship he had with all of my kids, I think they would vote me out of the house.”

“There is so much lineage and you really feel connected to eternity. My children are a better version of me. They have more at their fingertips. They have a broader mind, they’re more nimble. The best thing about motherhood is watching what can be.”

“Death! I don’t want to die. I know these are normal things, but I am really scared of that. I would love to be able to be with my children forever.”

“I kind of go off-script to parent. I have read all of the traditional parenting books, but the ones that have helped me the most are not specific to parenting. I am reading one that was written by a Buddhist monk and the teachings have been great references for parenting. I also love Arianna Huffington and how she talks about finding other metrics of success besides the size of our house or how much is in our bank accounts. We need to factor in the health of our spirit.”

“For me, I like to cook everything in 15 minutes. I like steamed fish, steamed vegetables, anything really quick that you can steam on top of the stove. I have the luxury that my husband does most of the cooking. He is African, from Ghana, and makes delicious soups and stews, which I generally don’t have time to cook. When I am short on time, I rely on my husband. We also love Instacart, which is a service that gets the food shopping done for you. Half the battle to getting dinner on the table is having the food in your fridge!”

“I love getting up early after a good night’s sleep. We all meditate in the morning and eat breakfast together. Then everyone is off to school. I grab a coffee at my local spot and then head back home to work. I have an office in Soho, but these days I am mostly working from home. I put the house back together again, make the beds, clean up breakfast. It’s a transitional process that I actually really enjoy. Then it’s time for work. There are really three parts to my work day: beauty entrepreneur, advocate, and writer. I travel a lot and speak a lot, so I am always working on organizing and planning for those events. Around 4, the adult stuff ends and I reconnect with my kids. I take them to their activities, like tennis, gymnastics, and karate. Afterwards, my favorite time is dinner, which can be hit or miss. Everyone can be really happy or melting down. Then we do homework and we always try to build in family movie time. It’s usually something educational or culturally based. We recently watched the whole Roots series. My generation and my mom’s and grandmother’s generations were really focused on black culture and we had specific ideas around ‘how to be black’. Now, in my daughter’s generation, she has told me that that doesn’t exist. She has broke the mold in how she’s defining herself. I let my children express themselves how they want, but I want to show them where my mind is coming from. So, that is what movie time is all about. Then we have meditation time. We use the Calm app on the iPad, which is guided meditation and the kids can decide which meditation they want. They get in bed and then we put on the Calm app and it really puts them to sleep. They all love it and ask for it.”

“I am different in that I am uber tuned into my children. My parents were really operating from their own perspective and weren’t able to tap into my perspective and the nuances of my generation. So, I decided to really be tuned in and be flexible enough to adjust and connect with my children’s own perspectives. I am similar to my mom in teaching my children about self-love. She taught me about meditation, clean eating, and self-love in the ‘70s. She would have us stand in front of the mirror and hug ourselves and tell ourselves that we loved ourselves. It was really silly and funny at the same time. We both teach our children to believe in ourselves, promoting ourselves, and speaking up for ourselves. My dad really let us present our identity as we wanted, which is what I do with my children. I allow my kids to be who they are and be their first champions, which I got from my parents. I’m just a little more tuned in to my children’s perspective.”

“I would say have more kids, have many. Of course, you have to take into consideration finances and things like that, but you don’t need a lot of money to have a big family. It’s not a luxury to have multiple. Maybe that sounds like rich people talking, but I look at a pregnant woman and I can’t wait for her to get pregnant again, especially for the father. For the first child, men can opt out a little bit more, but once you have your second or third, they have to become more involved. I saw the growth in my husband’s parenting sky rocket as we had more children. We often parent for our own development. We try to parent in ways that might make up for things we didn’t receive. I think it’s really good for you. It’s a really eye-opening experience.”

“I haven’t come out on top of that one yet. We do have date nights, but we go in and out of that. Some months we are religious about date nights once a week. Some months we exercise together and some months we don’t. Then we realize it’s not working and we get back into finding ways to connect. We change how we make it work, it’s fluid. One fun thing we do is share a great quote or page from a book we’re reading by taking a photo and sending a text. It’s just another way to connect. I’m not an expert in this area, but we do everything together. We get up together, eat breakfast together, take the kids to school together. Just being in close proximity keeps us connected.”

All that glitters.

“I love that consumerism is not in your face. It feels really residential and there are real neighborhoods. People really live in their homes. There are families on our block that have lived here for multiple generations. The feeling of community is really strong.”

“We relocate to our home in Pennsylvania during the summer and we spend a lot of weekends there. We have considered the mountains in Pennsylvania as well as Ghana, West Africa. But, for right now it’s Brooklyn.”

“For family outings, it’s Saraghina. The kids play and draw and I love their gin and tonics. They have a great outdoor space. We loved the Children’s Museum, although my kids are starting to age out of it. We enjoy Prospect Park, too. We also travel a lot and spend most of our weekends in Pennsylvania.”

"I'm a native New Yorker. Born and raised on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. I went to a small all-girls high school, Sacred heart. Then to an all-women's college in Atlanta, Spelman. Becoming a feminist was inevitable. I studied literature in college and have always loved words and stories. After graduation I worked in publishing at big companies, like Scholastic. And then for smaller houses, like the New Press as a junior editor working on non fiction and fiction books. I've intentionally had a varied career. After publishing, I went into the music industry on the management side, working with artists like Tricky and D'Angelo. Then I went into night life, launching and co-owning a live performance venue called Joe's Pub with my then husband, Serge Becker. I've also run my own PR firm and represented authors and fashion designers. I followed all my passions! My last big job was Director of PR for Zac Posen. I did front row seating, VIP dressing, speech writing, it was a great learning experience for my soon-to-come entrepreneurial debut. I wanted a big family and a big career. So, I knew I was going to have to do something for myself—something that allowed me to follow my passions. All of them! As much as I loved fashion, it wasn't going to let me be fully me. So, I left. And started a beauty brand, Georgia. First opening as a store. Then re-emerging years later as an online store and magazine."

Beautiful stained glass, everywhere.

"Before kids, I was a voyeur, just experiencing anything that caught my attention. Now my view of work is: Everything is connected. Everything has a thread. And that thread is family. Everything has to work with and for my family. Nothing is random. I have no secret to balance. Balance isn't even my goal. I only ask of myself that each day I touch all the things that are important to me: Love, work, travel, health, spirit. Those are the elements that must make up my days, on some level. If I accomplish that, all is good."

“Like my home, I call it Trans-Style. It’s a blending of eras, genres, textures, colors, and genders. It’s a mash up. It’s romantic, but also very functional. I will wear jeans, but then a shirt with a dramatic color.”

Jodie wears a Mara Hoffman jumpsuit and YSL heels.

So many lovely images.

“Pants with a high waist, which remind me of my mom in the ‘70s. I love one-piece jumpsuits. They’re easy to throw on and can be very versatile. I have everything from beaded jumpsuits to denim to all black. I love them.”

Tabletop treasures.

“I don’t wear skinny heels anymore. I feel like I need to be ready for action at any moment of the day, like running to catch a train. I also would never show my midriff in any outfit, however I have become more form conscious. I was wearing maternity clothes for so long, but my daughter reminded me I have a great waist. I love high-waisted jeans and old YSL pants with pleats in the front.”

“Tucker, which is a lot of romance and color and texture. No.6, J.Crew. I also love Duro, which is an African brand.”

“Never, never, never online. My body changes month to month. What you perceive as good on you is what feels good on you and that can change frequently. I like to try things on.”

“I don’t really shop for my kids. They wear a ton of hand-me-downs. We love this thrift shop in Pennsylvania where you can get everything that fits in a plastic bag for a dollar. I don’t get them into the process of shopping, so they don’t have an expectation around that. Our biggest purchases for the kids are books. We never say they can’t buy a book. They all have gadgets, they go to tech schools, so that is a part of their education. We figure out what they’re really into. With my youngest, Othello, we do a lot of puzzles and building blocks. Cassius loves experiments and science tools. Penelope has basketballs and a hoverboard.”

“It has changed over the years. When I was pregnant, I only wanted to use really pure products on my skin, like things I could eat with really clean ingredients. I wanted it to be really easy and simple. Now that I am older I want my bathroom time. I insist on it, so my routine is a little longer. At night I spend 20 minutes on my face. I start with an oil face wash. I used different ones, but right now I am using a cleansing oil by Antonia Burrell and Beautycounter’s Cleansing Balm. Then a bar by Drunken Elephant, which isn’t drying. I do the Purity Mask by Philosophy. I like Salma Hayek’s drugstore beauty brand. I use the Smooth and Firm Elixir. I also use Hydraluron, which has hyaluronic acid. I make my own rosehip face oil. Then I pat in a cream. I switch between Nuhanciam Radiance Cream and Hydra-Pro Cream Gel by Comfort Zone, which is an Italian brand. I also like Philosophy’s Hope in a Jar.”

Sky high.

Toys with roots.

“For makeup I use Glossier’s foundation, Perfecting Skin Tint, during the winter time. Otherwise, I use Perfect Face by Ashunta Sheriff. Then I use Becca’s Shimmering Skin Perfecter as my highlighter. For my brows, I use Brow Powder by BBrowBar, which is great. For my eyeliner, I use both brown and black pencils from Jordana. I use Smashbox eyeshadow, Brown Suede, for a brown smokey eye during the day. On my cheeks, I use RMS Smile. Sometimes I put that on my lips, as well. Otherwise, I use a Chubby Stick by Clinique in a peachy color.”

Three amigos.

“Some months I run all the time and some months I don’t. This month my wellness routine was all about writing. Sometimes it’s running, yoga, or dancing, sometimes it’s writing or journaling. I make sure to carve out five days a week to write. Sometimes I will do 15 minutes of sprints in my neighborhood, but as I get older I am less inclined to run on pavement. I meditate at least twice a day, when I wake up in the morning and before I go to sleep at night.”

“I am trying not to work my kids into the world, but rather let the world work around my kids. It’s my mothering mantra. I am also trying to dive into my work and pursue all of my professional aspirations and opportunities full force.”

To follow along with Jodie and her family, find her on Instagram here.