Mother Stories
A Cleveland Artist On Living In Color & Raising A Son With Autism
Written by Katie Hintz-Zambrano
Photography by Photographed by Heidi M. Rolf
May 17, 2018
This profile of uber-talented Lauren Noel marks two firsts for Mother. She’s not only the first Cleveland-based mama we’ve featured, she’s also the first to open up about raising a child with autism. Both firsts, we might add, are painfully overdue. According to brand-new data from the CDC, 1 in 59 American children (1 in 37 boys and 1 in 151 girls) are identified as having autism spectrum disorder, and this ratio is 15% higher than it was just two years prior. For those of us unfamiliar with autism, Lauren graciously opens up about her personal experience with her second son, 8-year-old Keegan (younger bro to 9-year-old Dylan), and along the way she crushes common misconceptions and sets us straight on the terms “autistic child” vs. “a child with autism.” Of course, autism isn’t the only thing in this 29-year-old mama’s life. She also shows us inside of her wonderland of a home, which is bursting with optimistic color, and fills us in on her career as an artist, which has recently hit fever pitch.
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- "God, I wish I could pinpoint it to one thing. There are hints of a very mid century, vintage vibe around our home. I’m a huge lover of color, patterns, and textures. But mostly a lover of color. No matter the aesthetic, whether it be boho or very mod, I have to have color throughout out home."
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- "Just doing what feels right and is functional for our kids. There really isn’t any rhyme or reason for me when decorating. If anything, it's, 'How much color and art can I fit in this space with out it being crazy overwhelming?'"
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- "The more the merrier, I say for the most part. I change up the color in my home so frequently. I love a strong bold accent wall among more neutral walls the most. I think the latest trend is to be more muted and neutral, which I’m not hating on, I just believe God created such a beautiful spectrum of color that I think bold bits here and there are amazing."
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- "I do work from home for the most part. Except for when I’m doing design/mural work. I have an attic, which we converted into a studio, as well as a room that’s attached to the master that is also used as a studio space."
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- "I wish I could say that we keep the kids' toys in a specific place in our home. But I just don’t think it’s realistic for our lives."
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- "They currently share a room. When we first moved here they had two separate beds. Then, we gave Dylan his own room, and then back to sharing again. We really struggled with helping Dylan to see that cleaning up and taking care of your room is not something he’s rewarded for. It’s just simply being a member of this family. He really struggled with it, so we decided together that we'll go back to sharing a room with his brother until he can be more responsible with his things."
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- "Oh man, I love their dresser and storage closet. I found them off of Craigslist and they are seriously sturdy pieces of furniture from the '70s. I'm also such a huge fan of all the little knickknacks Dylan has collected over the years. All of his Jaws characters and ET and Ghostbusters figurines bring a smile to my face. He’s my little old soul for sure and is such a fan of movies from the '90s and '80s."
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- "I’m not sure I could narrow it down to one thing, but I definitely love the adventures of motherhood that the boys and I share. It’s the moment when I'm exploring and being free with my kids that I look at them and feel a sense of peace and excitement. It’s the joy that comes with watching them learn and explore their surroundings."
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- "Ha, too many things. I’m a mother of a special boy with autism and with that comes a lot of anxiety and fear. It’s a constant rollercoaster of emotions with him. I’m nervous anytime I go to bed because Keegan is a 'runner.' We have triple locks on every door in our home because he has gotten out of the house when he was younger. It’s quite common among kids on the spectrum. I’m nervous about his future at times. Who will take care of him if something happens to me or Rian? It’s five full-time jobs wrapped up in one parenting a child with autism and I know it’s not for everyone. I even get nervous speaking about my son because it comes with so much judgment from others sometimes."
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- "We found out with both boys, and for me I always wanted a girl. I never thought I would be a boy mom until I had boys and honestly I’m so grateful. There is something incredibly special about raising boys and the relationship they share with their mothers when they are younger. I know eventually their best friend will be their dad and I’m okay with that. For now, I get them for me and I love it."
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- "Rian and I had a deal that if we had girls, I would name them, and if we had boys, he would. Both boys are named after pro skaters and then their middle names are from my grandfather on my mother's side and Rian's grandfather on his dad’s side."
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- "Dylan is 9 and Keegan is 8. Keegan is my little artist and it is very much how he communicates and expresses himself. About 98% of the time, you will find our dining room covered in piles of paper. Dylan is a Star Wars, Harry Potter, Marvel fan. He will quite often have the Jurassic Park soundtrack playing while he plays Jurassic Park. It’s amazing!"
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- "Always always! There was never a doubt in my mind that I wanted to be a mother."
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- "Neither kids were planned and both were for the most part fairly normal pregnancies. We had Dylan right before I turned 20 and Keegan right before my 21st birthday. I do remember enjoying the growth more with my first. I just think my body hadn’t fully healed after Dylan when getting pregnant with Keegan."
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- "It was a big shock for us when we found out I was pregnant the second time. Because autism does play a huge role in our family, I think having the boys so close in age has been helpful, but there are also times that I know Dylan, my oldest, struggles with it. I do wish I had a little more time to give him my full attention, but life isn’t perfect and you run with what you are given."
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- "I’ve gotten into a couple books, but nothing I’ve read fully through. Most of those books have been about raising a child with autism. Mostly, though, I’ve learned a lot from my peers. The moms and teachers in our lives. I'm a big believer in not being prideful when it comes to help with my kids. Most of the things we’ve struggled with have been first time things and I am in no way an expert and just prefer to ask mothers who have been there and done it."
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- "My husband and I are pretty similar in parenting for the most part, but in many aspects different. I grew up in a spiritual household and my husband did not. One is not better than the other, it's just different. I believe in nurturing my children’s free-thinking minds and their feelings, but also letting them know that I’m not their friend, I’m their mother."
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- "I grew up in a pretty religious household. Both my parents (mom and step dad) are disciples. I think it had some draw backs at times, but for the most part I think God protected me from a lot of pain. I think my biggest struggle growing up wasn’t finding my own faith, but being biracial. The constant struggle with your identity and where you stand in this society. I have incredible, amazing, and artistic siblings who constantly blow me away with their talents. My sisters and I, for the most part, grew up super close and they are truly my best friends. I do have to say, though, that I grew up in a household where my step dad treated my mother as his equal and it has always been such a rewarding thing being raised by two people that just love each other unconditionally. To have that and then to have a father that shared with us so many incredible life changing experiences."
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- "Absolutely! I know for myself being black and white in such a divided society it’s not easy maneuvering through aspects of life. Then to have two children that look white but have a brown mother makes life even more interesting. They know and are proud of where their grandfather's family comes from and are made very aware of the truths that they face as black men. We speak pretty freely in our household about the current political climate. I want them to use their privilege for good and to know that life is not equal for everyone."
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- "Be patient with yourself. Plain and simple, just be patient."
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- "As of right now, no. But I’m only 29, so who knows."
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- "My youngest son Keegan has been working with specialists since he was 18 months old. I knew nothing about autism when he was diagnosed. It’s been a range of emotions the last 7 years. There have been times of denial, times of joy, heartbreak, and resentment. Times of insane amounts of growth and moments of pure magic and bliss. Keegan is extraordinary, but it's also been incredibly hard. I honestly remember the time when I completely accepted the fact that Keegan might never talk, or might never have a full conversation with me. I think it was then that I found peace for myself and stopped trying to envision someone that Keegan just wasn’t. Since then, he has used his talker to tell me all sorts of things. He’s become super cheeky and his personality has thrived and blossomed. I think it’s just built in you to have expectations of our kids and what we think is right or how they should be. I have broken that down and shut all of that away, because what I got instead was even better than anything I could have imagined. Do I wish his life was easier for him? Absolutely! Do I wish that we lived in a world that was more accepting and compassionate to kids like him? Yes! But autism and Keegan have taught us so many things about what is important in life that I don’t think we would have learned other wise."
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- "My kid is not dumb and just because he is non verbal doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what you are saying! It truly grinds my teeth to hear people refer to kids with autism as 'autistic' or that they are not intelligent. They are crazy intuitive and are beyond intelligent. It’s 'kids with autism,' not 'autistic children.' I think when we refer to kids as autistic it keeps them in a box that confines them to this one thing. It's not who my son is, but what he has."
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- "I strongly believe in using what God gave you for good, and that is art for me. I’m an artist and so are my boys. We just completed a body of work together and put on a show raising money for autism. I find it incredible when kids enjoy and love art, but for Keegan it is far more then just loving it. When we don’t understand him he will draw a picture of what he wants or write something down. I just think it’s my job as his mother to nurture that part of him and to then use that to bring further awareness to autism and the many faces of it."
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- "Simply just allow yourself to feel. Feel whatever you are feeling at the time. I think we get into these situations where we feel so much guilt for just being human. I’ve cursed autism before. I have hated moments of it, I have found joy in it, and have found peace. I think we need to allow ourselves as special needs moms to feel the feelings so that we can heal and that we can do what’s best for our kids."
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- "I tend to lean more into comfort than anything else. On occasion you’ll find me head to toe with bursts of bright colors and my go-to head wraps."
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- "Oh, for sure. Getting dressed was a lot more fun when I was younger. Now I’m just like, 'What can I wear that’s both comfortable and makes me look like a somewhat respectable person?'"
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- "My head wraps are what I wear on a weekly basis and, of course, my new jeans from Zara! I love love love Zara, but I’m not really into designers. My budget just really doesn’t have room for it."
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- "I just recently decided to go with a plant-based diet. It’s been hard at times, but ultimately so rewarding. As far as working out, it doesn’t really pick up for me until it gets warmer here."
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- "I’m still working on that one. At the moment, my business has kind of taken off, which means less time for myself and more about providing and being what my family needs. When I do get a chance to just do me it usually has something to do with art, galleries, or nature. Being outside for me is my way of resetting."
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- "I am a full-time artist and am currently working on a few mural projects and helping design a new co-working space."
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- "I was born in Michigan, but grew up in sunny south Florida. I attended an arts high school, called Dreyfoos School of the Arts, but never went to college. Shortly after high school I had Dylan and threw myself into motherhood and starting my old specialty cake business."
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- "It absolutely has, but I also think this was what I was always meant to do. My kids just gave me even more motivation to succeed and to not look back. It is because of my love for art that brought about my current show we had as a family, bridging the gap using art between autism for Keegan and what we don’t understand as being a typical."
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- "I think so. When we lived in Florida my husband's father and step mom were our go-to babysitters. They created such an amazing, safe, and fun space for our boys in their home. Here in Cleveland, though, we don’t have any family, so we’ve really had to put ourselves out there to make meaningful relationships. Our life isn’t for everyone and not everyone takes the time to get to know Keegan. We do have a handful of friends that we really love and trust and that have showed up for us."
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- "Oh gosh, I’m still trying to figure it all out. I think in my line of work creating goes hand in hand with my emotions. If I’m not taking care of myself, it’s hard to produce the work. I definitely don’t believe in balance. As a mother and business woman, in some ways, one will over suffer. Some days I give more to my business, so our family can thrive. Other times it’s all about my kids and my business suffers. I just think it’s coming to the understanding that I’m not perfect and will never balance the two perfectly."
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- "Continuously! The dynamic at times between Dylan and Keegan can be stressful. Feeling like I’m not giving enough to Dylan because Keegan requires so much. But also feeling like I should be doing more for Keegan and his progress. The only way I really know how to combat it is just talking to friends. They keep me in check and have no problem yelling at me when I doubt myself or the constant love I give my boys."
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- "I think about it every single day! I’ve said it before, but it’s important for me to show my kids that dreams are possible. There have been things in my life I’ve struggled with, but I want them to know that they can overcome obstacles and be greater because of it. I want them to see a strong woman of color doing exactly what she loves and doing it well."
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- "The list is endless! For one, I plan on having two more shows before the year is done."
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- "Cleveland is incredible! The nature parks and activities offered to kids are endless. Cleveland just has this sense of family already that I love being apart of. Summers here are incredible with the boys."
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- "Florida is home, but I don’t see our family moving back. For right now, with our situation with Keegan’s school, I don’t see us moving any time soon."
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- "Too many! We have the most beautiful art museum here, The Cleveland Museum of Art. Also the Cleveland Metroparks, which are stunning and also known as 'the emerald necklace.' Shopping usually happens once a month at The Cleveland Flea. For eating and drinking, you’ll usually find me at L’Albatros, Cleveland Vegan, Luna Bakery, and so many more." For more on Lauren, her art, and her family, check out her Instagram feeds here and here.
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So happy to read this article, and take in the beautiful photos. My older son is very talented in art, and is highly dedicated to his online school. My younger son is highly intelligent, and creative. He’s in a top, parochial school, making Honors. Both are Autisitic. Thank you for this uplifting article!