Mother Stories
Lizzy Okpo Of William Okpo & The Cool Moms Podcast Invites Us Over
Written by Katie Hintz-Zambrano
Photography by Photographed by Julia Hirsch
Mar 6, 2019
If you’re not listening to the Cool Moms Podcast, you’re certainly missing out. Not only do hosts/mamas Elise Peterson and Lizzy Okpo invite super-inspiring mothers onto their show for a chat (including some of our faves like Rajni Jacques, Georgie Greville, Latham Thomas, and Tata Harper), but the hilarious banter between the two new-ish mothers is utterly real and hysterical in itself. While we’ve already caught up with one-half of the duo—Peterson, while she was pregnant—we thought it was due time to introduce our readers to Okpo, whom we have hopelessly fallen in love with over the radio waves and in person, when we were fortunate enough to meet her at the second-annual In Good Company conference this past September. Thankfully, the Bronx-based mama of 1-year-old Irem, who also designs the William Okpo label alongside her sister, graciously invited us over to her house to deliver a candid and entertaining interview that you won’t want to miss.
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- "I gave myself a timeline to becoming a homeowner. While searching for a cute New York City one bedroom to own with my husband—because we thought we were going to live free and mighty our entire lives, never thought about any additional rooms—I later found out I was pregnant. Our one-bedroom Harlem apartment dream turned into us looking for an entire house with yard space, and a cute place to have a nursery, and my timeline became more urgent, as I wanted a home before the baby dropped. Between our budget and the insane New York City prices, our search to live uptown/Harlem pushed us all the way super uptown to The Boogie Down Bronx. It was also the place I was born, so we came back full circle. We closed on our house and moved in when Irem was two weeks old, it was the height of winter, it was a terrible idea. Cute place though."
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- "Placement is key. Less clutter. 50 percent store bought, 50 percent custom or items I bought from my travels. I try to avoid looking as though I shopped from one section of a catalog. The dining table was a special project for me. I truly love it. It was the first project I worked on since having the baby. It made me feel whole again. The photo of Kyoto, Japan, was taken by my fiancé, Ackime Snow. I printed it because it was one of my favorite travel photos he has taken and makes our place look so warm and friendly."
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- "My home will never be a kid home. I have emphasized this so strongly before Irem came, now that she is here she can have 1/16th of a kid's section in the house. I do know as she gets older all of her macaroni art may not make it to the refrigerator door." Lizzy wears an William Okpo top and Jason Wu Grey pants.
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- "It is as real and as authentic New York City can be. It encapsulates the diversity of our city so well, while also representing old New York. The other boroughs are gentrifying themselves to the point of looking too commercialized, and with a highly segregated upper class. That is not New York to me, and it is important for Irem to understand the difference. Since moving to the Bronx, we have missed our Harlem excursions. All of our favorite restaurants and coffee shops are in Harlem. While we are open to finding our local Bronx spot, we have yet to find it, but we do frequent my favorite restart, The Edge in Harlem. As for living anywhere else, maybe the West Village or Harlem."
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- "The most exciting part is her growth. Scrolling through a visual time lapse of her growth. I go as far as me being on those expecting mom apps when they compare her to fruit sizes and then fast forwarding to looking at images of her walking and talking. Most nervous? Gah! Negative people breathing their negative breath near my baby. I want to protect her from all the crazy." Irem wears a jersey top by Misha + Puff and William Okpo overalls.
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- "Irem is named after my father's compound in Nigeria. It is named UmuOkpoIrem. In other words, 'the compound of the Okpo village,' and/or 'it takes a village to raise children.' There are a few other definitions. Irem also means Garden City. Her middle name, Iheyi (e-hey-e) is one-half of my mother's middle name, which is Iheyinwa (e-hey-in-wah), which means 'there is no greater gift than a child.'"
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- "I thought I wanted a boy. I was convinced I was having a boy and that it would be best if I raised a boy. But raising my daughter is the most beautiful thing ever. She represents the beautiful nuances of life and growth, adventure, limitless possibilities."
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- "No prints, awful graphics, bows or hot pink. Only solids, some stripes. I became pregnant and sympathetic to the fact that I would never wear half of the crap marketed to girls. It's quite a narrow, jaded view on what girls should wear. It is unfair and silly at times, walking into a store and seeing 'princess' written all across a onesie. We never signed up to be labeled a princess, who needs it?"
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- "I knew I always wanted to be of guidance to a mini version of me. I knew I always wanted to be a leader."
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- "Gaining this codependent personality. Not wanting to be alone with Irem for hours at a time. My urge for freedom and alone time without the responsibility of breastfeeding and dealing with sleepless nights. While having these urges of freedom, I was conflicted because I gained this magnetic attraction to my child where I did not want her away from me. Mostly, I wanted freedom when she cried and wanted her ever embrace when she was peacefully quiet for those first two months."
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- "Having mom friends during pregnancy and for the first year of having your child is crucial. The information exchange, the support, the community is a gift within itself. It is free therapy. Good-matching mom friends should be given to women as a welcome package for your first trimester." Lizzy wears an Everlane top, Mara Hoffman dress, and vintage earrings. Irem wears a jersey two-piece by Misha + Puff.
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- "Listen to yourself first. And then heed advice given to you."
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"The Modern Baby Tatum dresser and Modern Baby rabbit chair. The black accent of the dresser drawers adds character to the bedroom. I was getting carried away with the gray and white, which made the room feel muted, and the simplicity of the dresser with the deep black gave the bedroom more of the edge it needed."
Tatum Dresser, $545, Pottery Barn Modern Baby.
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- "I think my parent's mistake was not teaching us the native Igbo language. This decision to omit such a huge part of our culture really hindered us in many ways. I’ve asked my parents to make up for their mistakes and practice speaking to Irem in Igbo language only. The best decision my parents made was to send us to Nigeria at a very young age. Seeing the difference between Nigeria and The Bronx at the age of four years old was a huge cultural shock for me, and gave me a clearer perspective on life at such a young age. I do plan to have Irem spend summers in both Jamaica and Nigeria as she gets older. Her father was born in Jamaica, so it is important for her to experience all of her cultural descendants." On the bookshelf: I Love My Hair by Natasha Anastasia Tarpley, and Okowaokwu Igbo Umuaka: Igbo Dictionary for Children by Yvonne C Mbanefo.
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- "Absolutely, almost to a fault. Nigerian culture is so rooted in hard work and earning success. Nothing is handed to us, so whenever you meet a successful Nigerian (as there are a million) you’ll know that person went through trials and tribulations to be where they are. For some awful reason, I poorly internalized that idea as me planning to make Irem work extremely hard for the smallest things—i.e. iPad time equals three baby push-ups and twenty minutes of ABC’s forward and backward." Critter Chair, $119, Pottery Barn Modern Baby.
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- "So culturally enthused. My parents are Nigerian, unapologetically, we were to never forget, or even attempt to be anything than that. However, I also lived in the grittiest city. Growing up around hip-hop and R&B, and soukous, Afrobeat music. It was fun. By daytime I was black American, and at night and on the weekends I was as Nigerian as I can be. I have two sisters and one brother and our way of having fun was through family comedy. Telling jokes about one another, watching comedy sitcoms. It was so fun. My only job was to do good in school and bother my siblings." "I Like Your Face" Knit Baby Blanket, $34, Pottery Barn Modern Baby.
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- "My fiancé and I have similar parenting styles. We both agree on the importance of putting the inception of self-worth and independence in a child. We agree that giving our child the basic fundamentals in life and developing an attitude of confidence and a 'can do anything' attitude can go a long way." Tatum Dresser, $545, Pottery Barn Modern Baby.
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- "Every political climate puts the pressure on me to want to do more, create more, building my bricks towards generational wealth." Another one of Lizzy and Irem's must-reads: Dream Big, Little One by Vashti Harrison.
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- "I did not want my stomach to get too big, but I did want it to be visible so people on the train could offer me a seat. I wanted to act as though pregnancy could not affect my workout regimen, so I continued to go to the gym, do sprints on the track up until the very last week of delivery. I ran a mile two days before I gave birth. I had bad lower back pains, horrible heartburn. The first trimester was mean."
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- "I maintained my workout regimen during pregnancy because I had a great fear that I would be left with belly jelly or excess weight that I knew I did not want and did not want to put the extra effort to take off. Now, post-baby, I’ve stared at my stomach for months at a time wishing the skin would tighten up sooner than it should. I was advised by my midwife to wait 4-6 weeks to even think about working out. I challenged that advice and 30 days after delivering my daughter, I ran to the gym and went on the treadmill. Knowing I was in so much discomfort, the lower pelvic area was completely torn and in pain, but I wanted so badly to ignore it. I chose to run away, really fast, run through the pain as I felt the tearing. My bladder muscles were not back to their old ways, so as I ran small tinkles of urine were coming down, and I refused to stop. Until I really had to. I was in great disbelief that I needed to give myself another full month to reheal and take a seat. I did it all for nothing."
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- "Yes, but I will drag my feet on that one. The idea of being pregnant and dealing with a crying newborn for the first three months brings me to panic mode." Lizzy wears an Everlane top and William Okpo pants.
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- "I was born in The Bronx, lived in Staten Island, Brooklyn, Harlem, and now back to The Bronx. I went to Pace University. And I started my brand, William Okpo, my sophomore year of college. As for inspiration, I do enjoy traveling. The year before I became pregnant I traveled to 10 countries within the year, followed by 0. Traveling really is my go-to for any adventure and life experience. I’ve traveled less since having Irem, but I do want to get back in my groove."
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- "Motherhood has inspired me to drift towards a different career path. Naturally, I am an entrepreneur, so with that I want to open up a plethora of businesses. However, since having a baby, I’ve changed my liking towards fashion, fashion politics, the entire fashion industry. Today, engaging in fashion feels empty and shallow for me, and this feeling only has happened when I became a mom and had newer life goals to work towards. Worrying about who wants to buy a pretty dress wasn’t one of them."
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- "It is a challenge I am trying to figure out. Nannies, babysitters, family, anyone you can safely pass your baby to is the savior. I’ve had healthier feelings towards my fiancé, greater inspiration, much more self-care time since I've had help with Irem. Nothing is wrong with help, it should be mandatory." Irem wears a jersey two-piece by Misha + Puff.
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- "No. I emphasize the act of living for yourself, as well. I believe you can be the best mom when you are able to work on yourself, and if that means stepping out for a few hours, then do so."
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- "I am searching for my old style. I may have lost my groove. My style has completely changed since having Irem. I have not been into the new trends as of recent, so shopping has been difficult, and I haven’t made the proper effort to custom make my own William Okpo looks."
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- "I’m a happy girl with raw shea butter, it’s been my faithful go-to for decades."
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- "Doing sprints on the track."
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- "I sit on the toilet and whip out my phone for an hour. Or play music throughout the house."
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- For more on Lizzy, be sure to check out her line William Okpo and tune into the Cool Moms podcast to hear more on her motherhood journey and future business endeavors.
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