To touch or not to touch? That is the question. If you’re expecting or have ever been pregnant, you know exactly what we’re talking about. You’re deep in small talk with a stranger (or an acquaintance, if you’re lucky) when all of a sudden their warm, uninvited hand lands directly onto your belly. In this very moment you probably do one of three things: a) smile politely, not quite sure of what to do next; b) grin with giddy pleasure and pride; or c) internally combust. And if this is the first time something like this has happened to you, you’re probably feeling a confusing combination of all three. We get it, we’ve been there.

The truth? Belly rubs are a touchy subject for everyone (no pun intended). Even though an expecting mama’s bump is living proof that miracles do happen, it’s still a part of her body and her personal space. And let’s face it, pregnancy is incredible, but it also isn’t always the most glamorous. It can be hot, painful, and sometimes even sticky, depending on the outside temps. So, at some point all people—pregnant or not—have to ask themselves, “where are the boundaries and how do we know when they’ve been crossed?” While some moms might be totally okay inviting a stranger into their space, others might cringe at just the thought.

Since everyone is different, we thought we’d open it up for discussion. Are you the mom that receives a belly pat like the jovial giddiness of the perfect present on Christmas morning? Or are you on the opposite end of the spectrum? Someone who simply loathes anyone coming within a two-mile radius of their pregnant stomach. Perhaps you’re a happy medium, wavering on either side depending on the day or your mood. What do you think? Strangers touching your belly, yay or nay?