At Home With Alex Bonnesen
Written by Katie Hintz-Zambrano
Photography by Brit Gil
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The Vancouver-based model & mother Alex Bonnesen on raising two sons, creating an inviting, accessible home, and the brand-new California Closets designs for her son Oscar's bedroom.
We first met model mama Alex Bonnesen via a touching essay that chronicled her firstborn son, Oscar, being diagnosed with acute flaccid myelitis when he was only 1-years-old.
Now Oscar is 7 and thriving—and he’s got a sidekick in his 2-year-old brother, Louie. Meanwhile, Alex’s life as a mother, model, budding writer, and accessibility advocate has blossomed, as has her living situation.
The family of four recently moved into a brand-new home in Vancouver that was custom-built for their lifestyle. After living in the space for a little while, they noticed where other improvements could be made—namely, Oscar’s bedroom. Which is where California Closets comes in—a company dedicated to designing and installing individualized solutions that provide utility, beauty, and comfort for everyday living.
The team at California Closets—led by designer Afton Albach of California Closets Vancouver—stepped in to put the final touches on Oscar’s space, which now includes an accessible, wall-mounted shelf that houses his beloved Sonos player, and tucks a monitor and other electronics away from curious toddler hands. Oscar also got a new sleek and functional design for the closet that houses medical supplies, and Maddox hooks for his hats and backpack.
“It somehow feels like the California Closets designs were always part of the space, and this feels like the best sign that it was done perfectly,” Alex says.
“Our goals were to maintain the integrity of design and function cohesively,” she explains. “One of my favorite features is how clean the cords look tucked within the wall unit and how easy it is to adjust the shelves depending on what goodies we want to have on display.”
“As for the closet, both my husband and all nurses that access that space can attest to the fact that it’s so organized and practical. It’s quiet, allowing access during the night to be stealth, which is important.”
In today’s feature, Alex also dives into the beauty and challenges of going from one to two kids, her goals for the future (including a kids’ book about grief), carrying the “opportunity burden”—and the importance of all folks to think about inclusion and accessibility, regardless of their own family’s needs.
Enjoy her inspiring interview + home tour below!
Be sure to follow Alex on Instagram @akcollins and get more inspiration for your own custom California Closets designs at @caclosets.
Tell us about your home and how you went about designing it.
"Our home was a project of love and intention, to create a space with flow and invitation for all. We were living in a tiny two bedroom apartment for 4 years prior to moving into our home, desperate for some space. My mom developed the property, and once she started the process, we excitedly collaborated with her to create custom design and structure for our family’s needs. The whole process took about 3 years to complete and had moments of feeling really invigorating and speedy, and also like a lifetime."
"The space feels very homey with warm light that has access to fill each room, and provide lookouts onto the busy bike path of commuters, mountain tops, and backyard zone. The general style is quite tonal, Scandinavian, and soft."
How would you describe Oscar's room, before the new California Closets wall shelf and closet were installed?
"When mapping out the vibe of Oscar’s room, we wanted to make sure we kept an open space available to adapt to his current and future needs. Like the potential of a ceiling lift, a desk space for highschool homework sessions, and space to use his powerchair. Our custom millwork was intended to allow for his room to feel like a kids room and not a hospital room, with enclosed space for equipment and openings for the equipment needing to be accessed daily or quickly."
"Before California Closets, his closet lacked the organization and sophistication of a proper system for his medical supplies. We didn’t want to commit to a layout before living in the space for a while, to see how we could best utilize the space. Additionally, the previous bookshelves in his room that border up to the California Closets display/media wall mount didn’t feel sufficient enough for all his interests. It felt important for us to wall mount this area and keep the floor space open for access by chair and keep the clean lines of the room."
“It somehow feels like the California Closets designs were always part of the space, and this feels like the best sign that it was done perfectly.”
What were your goals for the custom California Closets designs in Oscar's room?
"Our goals were to maintain the integrity of design and function cohesively. For his room, we aimed to elevate the space by displaying important interests for him and tucking cords away from little, curious hands, too."
"For the closet, our biggest goal was to maximize storage space for additional medical supplies while not adding chaos or extra material to the space, and I think we accomplished both of those major priorities."
How would you describe the space after the California Closets designs were installed?
"It somehow feels like the California Closets designs were always part of the space, and this feels like the best sign that it was done perfectly."
What are your favorite aspects of the storage systems, now that you've started living alongside them?
"Our house is all very tonal, so that was the guide to what materials and aesthetic we wanted for the units. We wanted both zones to feel like they complemented our home design already."
"One of my favorite features of the wall unit is how clean the cords look tucked within the unit and how easy it is to adjust the shelves depending on what goodies we want to have on display."
"As for the closet, both my husband and all nurses that access that space can attest to the fact that it’s so organized and practical. It’s quiet, allowing access during the night to be stealth, which is important and a bonus for us as well."
Tell us about the process of designing the storage systems, alongside designer Afton Albach of California Closets Vancouver, and getting it installed.
"I was impressed with the level of communication and knowledge that Afton offered to this process. She was attentive and creative while really intentionally listening to what our family needs were and knowing where to guide my decision making. The process of brainstorming, creating, installing, and following up was all extremely efficient and professional. You can tell that there is intention and care behind the product and functionality for your designs."
Did you always know you wanted to be a mother?
"I grew up with two sisters and being close with our mom, there was a lot of feminine energy in the house. My natural curiosity and discovery around motherhood was always a part of me, which is a concept that is hard to determine whether cultural expectations guided or innate truth lead me to. After partnering with my husband, I wanted to expand our love for each other and see what kind of magic we could create together. We were extremely fortunate with fertility, so when we decided to leap into making family expansion plans, things moved quickly!"
Did you always know you wanted two—or more—children?
"Growing up with sisters, the desire to have more than one kid has always been there. My husband also has a sister and wanted to create the gift of siblings as well. With how our lives unfolded with Oscar and the support and care required to nourish a successful and immersive life for him, it delayed our additional baby plans. We needed some really important practical pieces to be aligned before we could consider intentionally spreading our time, energy, and love."
"The idea of having three has a soft spot in my heart, being a third child, yet at this moment with how dependent both our kids are, the thought is too overwhelming!"
“Motherhood has affirmed my values of kindness and the power of presently focusing, inviting little joys to show up and abide the thickest and darkest moments. How holding onto hope is like a superpower.”
What excites you most about motherhood right now?
"I really love this question! My kids are seven and two, so the evolution of their bond has moved into a really playful and engaged stage. Being able to witness this unfolding has been such a delight and sheds insight into the years to come and how they will continue to showcase what their brotherly bond looks and feels like. This is all they know, each other in this moment, and there is such beauty to their discovery of each other and ways to fully include one another. Another excitement that has sparked recently with Oscar being seven is how our conversations have deepened and become more profound. Well not always, but the frequency of bigger conversations and subject matter has kept me on my toes and broadened my scope of communication and connection."
What makes you most nervous?
"How fragile life and health is, and that no matter how hard we hope, sometimes the cards that are dealt are cruel and unfair. Nothing is guaranteed. And that first heartbreak for my child to endure is a solo journey and although I can support it, it needs to be endured."
What excites you about raising two sons?
"I’m excited for the opportunity that comes with, I think in particular, raising boys in our current cultural climate who embrace their tenderness and kindness. With security and empowerment to move through their emotions; to name them, move through them, hold space and the time required to fully feel them. We are always trying our best to stay mindful and accountable of how we communicate and demonstrate our more uncomfortable feelings and I can already hear how Oscar shows up for Louie when he is feeling some big feelings. I’m encouraged with their interactions and reflecting that confidence from their lives into how they participate in this world."
Did you find out the sex of your sons while pregnant? Did you care either way?
"We didn’t find out the sex of either baby, as this wasn’t something that felt significant in preparation for welcoming a new life. I oddly pictured myself as a boy mom from the beginning and that seems to be working out for me so far!"
"Something that feels worthwhile to share is when I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with Louie, I had lots of friends thinking I was having a girl and I wasn’t convinced. There was a part of me for a while that started to come around to the idea because we had a solid girl name and were wavering between two boy names. It was the opposite when I was pregnant with Oscar—we had the boy name and were wavering between two girl names. That was my only marker for a while, until it was the week leading into the birth of Louie."
"As the week went on, and my due date, which was January 17, was approaching, I had this feeling that I was going to have a boy on January 14, the death anniversary of my Dad. It felt so clear that it was going to happen. A couple nights before actually going into labour I had a couple nights of contractions that dissolved. On the night of January 13th, I could feel a shift in my body and the contraction that caught my attention to alert my husband and get ready to leave for the hospital was at midnight, on the dot, January 14, 2023. Hi Dad."
Tell us about Oscar, your eldest. What is he into?
"Oscar is a very determined, kind, and patient kid. He’s seven and currently in grade two. He continually demonstrates grace and adaptability through his daily practice and within ours. He is extremely passionate about iPad games and promotes any opportunity to play and share new discoveries. With the influence of my husband and his love of sports, we watch a lot of basketball and football in our house, so his commentating skills for both of those games are impressively curated."
"Having him participate in the kitchen while I am cooking or baking is something he often enjoys as well. As my sous, he is usually designated whisker, measurer, and mixer! Seasonly, Oscar plays baseball with the adaptive Challenger team in the Spring and Summer, and I am currently investigating the adaptive ski team at our local mountains. His need for speed and love of the cold seem like a great foundation to love skiing and I am grateful we have access to our local mountains for this kind of activity."
What about Louie, your toddler?
"Louie is a very curious, playful, and enthusiastic 2-year-old. This stage is really highlighting his wonder and delight in discovery and play. His experience is so honest and pure, it’s a reminder to take time to slow down and marvel at all these little wonders around us. His language has expanded over the last few months and he’s constantly commentating his movements throughout the day, and the movements of everyone around him too. While this is my second child moving through the world, it’s my first experience of how his body can move through it, so that has been showing up with lots of tenderness and nerves. True to a second born, his gusto and physical boundary pushing has my mama heart on edge most days and it’s usually met with the sweetest most mischievous giggle."
At 1-years-old, Oscar was diagnosed with acute flaccid myelitis. What was your experience with disability and medical complexities up until that point?
"My experience with disability and medical complexities prior to Oscar’s onset was very minimal. Aside from aging grandparents and some ailments around that, my mom used to work for our school district growing up with the consultation department for children with learning disabilities primarily."
What were your biggest anxieties in those early months and years—and how have they changed over time?
"My anxieties have transitioned from initial acute days of begging for the mercy of breathing, walking, and quality of life, more medical anxieties, and shifted more to typical mothering anxieties with some layers of medical."
"The early months of Oscar’s onset were filled with such shock and unknowns around the manifestation of his diagnosis and healing of his body’s ability. The fragility of his little body and my own spirit being so broken required great tenderness, patience, and lots of support."
"Nowadays, Oscar’s strength and resiliency continues to guide our expectations of what is required to be fully inclusive and necessary to adapt in home, community, and school. My worries are around his sense of belonging and the emotions around circumstances that are out of our control. That is what motherhood is though, the vulnerability of deeply loving your child(ren) in our big world and wanting to have boundless comfort, love, and support for them."
How has mothering a child with complex medical needs changed you as a person?
"I’m not entirely sure if it’s changed me, rather allowed the fullest discovery of who I am to show up. My grace, my resiliency, and my willingness is deeply rooted throughout my life and this extension into motherhood seems to be the boldest."
"I don’t want to give the impression that I eagerly jumped into the team positivity and ‘we got this!’ position, but somehow my hope and purpose wiggled into place. The abruptness of how quickly life can change has shown up in my life more times than I would have liked to endure, and each time it emphasizes how presently living is the only way to be. How family and health are the biggest privileges of our lifetime and if either of those are affected, it’s a full priority shift."
"Motherhood has affirmed my values of kindness and the power of presently focusing, inviting little joys to show up and abide the thickest and darkest moments. How holding onto hope is like a superpower."
Ableism is still rampant in so many places and spaces. What do you wish other parents and children—who maybe haven't experienced disability personally—knew?
"Consideration. Thoughtfulness. Perspective. Respect. Capacity and capability. Accountability."
"So often we need a success story to hold onto and pride our culture in patting ourselves on the back for the bare minimum, when there is so much work still to be done. Something that is very applicable to our life just now is birthday parties. While it seems like a small example, for a 7-year-old to be considered and accommodated in celebrations and fully participate in festivities actually says, you are welcome, you belong, you are important."
"As a parent of a child with a disability, it typically defers to us taking the lead with information up front or reaching out to start the communication around inclusion. My sister refers to this as an opportunity burden, which is something I have learned to accept and hope to experience evolution in workload."
"We all need to look at this world through the lens of inclusion and how a space is set up, how an event is presented, how a sidewalk dips, how a job is listed, how a film is written with the structure and foundational accommodation for all. Our world is supposed to be diverse and yet systematically we haven’t set it up to support this."
What has the transition been like, going from one child to two?
"Phewf. The leap from one to two has presented a range of challenges and beauties within it. We strategically mapped out a gap that would hopefully ease the transition of dependency and energy preservation. HA! One of the biggest changes is the opportunity to tap out with my husband. With one kid, even one with lots of needs, we used to have the chance to build independent time into the days/nights and now we are evenly numbered so there is less opportunity for that. This has just forced us to figure out restorative strategies in different, more efficient ways. My biggest moments of overwhelm are when I am tired and both kids are struggling simultaneously and I am solo. That must be the most common challenge? Single parents are my heroes."
"The level of care and dependency of Oscar is involved and steady, so I try my best to account for the best time management to not reach my limits. The beauty of a sibling relationship is unmatched—to experience it myself, with my sisters, and now to witness with the boys. It is such a unique bond and I am extremely grateful that we were able to create that. While having more than one kid stretches your capacity and patience, it also expands your heart and provides a true experience of building the sturdiest relationships."
What was your own upbringing like?
"I had a privileged childhood growing up, with two parents and two sisters. Our home was one that held value in kindness and respect for one another. I grew up in the suburbs of Vancouver and have since moved back after being in New York for over a decade to be closer to my family. My parents separated when I was in my mid-teens and that adjustment came with complete shock and years of rebuilding and redefining my relationship with my parents individually."
"My sisters and I have a 4- and 7-year gap, so growing up we always got along, but I felt like I was such a little sister comparatively. After living in New York and entering adulthood, then motherhood, we have settled into such a tightly knit sisterhood. I love everything about them and we communicate daily on a sister group chat and a sister and mom group chat!"
Are there things from your upbringing that you're consciously trying to incorporate (or not incorporate) into your sons' upbringing?
"Aren’t we all just the fabric of our upbringing and trying to consciously incorporate and not incorporate those foundation pieces? My upbringing was very much rooted in the expectation of family respect and bountiful love and kindness. We were expected to contribute to the household and fulfill those expectations before social engagements could happen. My best friends growing up can attest to me missing out on roller blading because I hadn’t cleaned my room yet."
"In terms of approaching motherhood with a particular goal or lens, I try to be as patient, playful, and creative as possible. Especially with the gift of Oscar’s experience in the world, I want to boldly advocate in a way that empowers him to recognize what is worth pushing for and avenues to be able to access full inclusion. I’m perpetually brainstorming ways to cultivate opportunities for him to engage in activities or experiences with more ease and success. Having Louie’s experience of brotherhood being built in with accessibility advocating and creative play has felt like such a seamless transition to adaptive play and joy too!"
Can you tell us about your career in a nutshell?
"From the age of 10-15, I worked as a kid actor, doing mostly commercials while I was still in school. My career exploration started right out of highschool when I moved to New York at 17 with my mom. She supported me for the first 10 months of my 12 years there. I’ve exclusively worked as a model for the last 18 years, while motherhood has shifted my priorities and traveling agenda."
"I recently completed a creative writing course at a community college to further my passion of writing and hopes of writing a children's book about grief. Poetry feels like the most natural form of expression for me, and I am trying to extend my avenues of sharing my ideas. Additionally, I love cooking and all things food, potentially there is a time and space for recipe development in my future too. There are more than 24 hours in a day, right?"
How has becoming a mother impacted how you think about your career, creativity, and ambition?
"This is a great question to acknowledge how the layers and complexities of our human experience are interconnected with each other and that without one or the other, none of it would evolve. Becoming a mother has impacted every part of me, and every extension of what I do. In some ways, the impact has felt like restriction or limitation, to career development and availability to lead the same kind of travel itinerary I once used to lead. And yet, that kind of pace was meant for a time in my life where I had more energy and freedom for selfish living. When you have dependent beings, you are propelled to reassess what you consider the most valuable and important on your priority list. Motherhood has led me into a life of greater creativity and thoughtfulness because that’s what my mothering requires. It’s my privilege."
"Ambition has formed many shapes over the last seven years of mothering, from a traditional and cultural sense of making a decent living to support my family financially, into ways I can create space for my mental health and develop outlets of motivation and gusto."
Do you have any mental health habits or practices to stay centered when juggling so much?
"I have a great therapist who I can access on short notice and also map out consistency when that feels appropriate. This practice has felt really important with my process of grief and overwhelm over the last few years of my life. I am continually working on the best ways to support myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, and acknowledge that it takes many forms depending on my needs. Sometimes it’s big body movement, walking in the forest or by the ocean, being social with friends or family, having a quiet bath, writing, dance parties, or simply blocking out some time to be solo and restorative."
What advice would you give to another parent who has just received a tough medical diagnosis for their child?
"This is such a difficult question. The truth is, in the moments that follow a tough medical diagnosis for your child, nothing is going to feel or sound like a comfort. It will all fall short to anything remotely close to good enough. And, my hope or advice, if you will, is to learn about the ways to soften, be gentle and forgiving to the wave of emotions that will be necessary to experience. Hope will evolve if you allow it to be a guide. Preserve your energy and time to be able to focus solely on your child, and if you can delegate someone you love and trust to be head of communication and operations, that is ideal. I recognize that so much of mine and my family’s experience was wrapped up in privilege, our community support and access, our families local and expansive support, our financial stability, there are so many factors that allowed for our priority to just be on our one child. I am also honored to be a resource for anyone who feels like my words sit tenderly with them, and if they want to contact me, reach out via instagram @akcollins."
Any big goals or happenings—professionally or personally—that you're excited about for 2025?
"I think the last couple years have been stacked with such gigantic transitions: my husband going back to full-time work, a baby, and a new house, that my big goals personally and professionally are to slow down and not over stretch myself. Be mindful, be slow, be present, and seek out delights and moments of awe."
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