Mother Stories
Author, Homeschool Teacher, & Mama-Of-Three Ashley Sirah Nicole Chea
Written by Erin Feher
Photography by Morgan Pansing
Feb 25, 2020
We are all too familiar with the juggle: As parents, professionals, creatives, partners, and individuals, it can sometimes feel as if our various roles are at odds, fighting for shreds of our time and attention. And then there are the other moments—when we seem to be firing on all cylinders, and somehow, all of our energies and purposes are working in harmony, propelling us forward. While we have yet to encounter someone who has cracked the code completely, today’s mama seems to have found a solid groove in that good spot: Ashley Sirah Nicole Chea is a dedicated mama of 3 and a consummate creative, and has focused her drive, talents, and passion on things that both fulfill her and make her an incredible mama, to boot. Following in the footsteps of her own mother, she has opted to homeschool her 3 daughters. And with the aim of creating a more inclusive world for them, she has authored a kids book, Beautiful Beautiful Me, that celebrates skin colors of all shades, and launched an educational movement around the concept. As a co-founder of MomsInColor, she is constantly creating safe, welcoming, and supportive spaces for fellow black mamas, and strengthening her family’s community along the way. She is a living, breathing example of what happens when actions follow intention. Ashley invited us into her L.A. home to talk all things motherhood, homeschooling, personal style, and keeping the creative juices flowing. Dive into our gallery below and meet this inspiring, multitalented mother.
-
- "We have been in Los Angeles for 5 years and this apartment for almost 2. We actually found this place after we moved from Anaheim. The crazy part is that it was a new build, and I just had a baby. So we had to wait 3 months for it to be finished. My husband was being relocated from Orange County to the city of Los Angeles, so we had to live in a hotel for 3 months until the apartment was finished. It was such a crazy time. We also own a home in Ohio. We live bicoastally, so we moved my mother and aunt into our home in Ohio because we were tired of managing renters and having to stay in hotels when we went back home. It was the best decision we ever made. They take such good care of our home in back there."
-
- "Functional minimalism. I feel like you should only have things in your home that you love, serve a purpose, and don’t take up space from actually living.
-
- "My daughters artwork, my diffusers, and record player. We are in transition of looking for a forever home and so we haven’t purchased new things in awhile. I’m really ready to decorate a new space and create new energy."
-
- "For the most part they play in the living room and their bedroom, but honestly our apartment is so small that it’s hard to limit where they play. I’ll be in my room relaxing and they will come and jump on my bed with dolls or play food in their hands. I’ve learned to just let it happen, as they won't be this age for long."
-
- "Since the three girls now share a room, I wanted to make sure they all had their own unique beds, bedding, and just simple things that made them feel welcome. It’s really designed to benefit my eldest, as she needs a space to get away from the littles from time to time. They sit up and talk in the morning and often go in there to get away from one another, but ten minutes later everyone is in the living room playing."
-
-
"Raising three women who will be better humans than me. I’m excited to teach them lessons and ways to deal with relationships, conflict, and more. I like seeing them evolve at a much faster pace than I did. It’s most exciting to watch them grow and develop into their own people. I just can’t wait to see what type of women they will be, but also don’t want them to grow up yet."
Ashley wears a top and jeans from Zara.
-
- "Something bad possibly happening to them; life is uncertain and I can’t control who they come in contact with as adults. I get so nervous thinking about them dating, being in college, and just being exposed to unkind humans in this world."
-
- "I found out because I just wanted to know so bad. I didn’t really care—I wanted girls, but would have been happy with boys. I’m most excited about their sisterhood. I lost my best friend/older sister when I was 22 and she was 24. She died in a car accident. She was truly my person in life. I love seeing my daughters experience that same love I did. I can’t wait to see them grow together and just do life together."
-
- "I was raised Muslim and everyone in my family has Hebrew or Arabic names—excpet me, lol. My middle name is Arabic (Sirah) but my mom and dad couldn’t agree, and landed on Ashley from Gone with the Wind. So I made sure my daughters had Arabic, Spanish, and Cambodian names to honor all of their heritage. AmirahLee Gabriella Sirah: Princess, Angel, way of life; AzarahLee Giuliana Sirah: beautiful soul, youthful, way of life; AsiyahLee Giordana Sirah: Heals the weak, to flow down, way of life. The Lee comes from my husband's middle name, which Lee. The Sirah comes from my middle name."
-
- "My children are 10, 3, and 21 months. They love Barbies, Spiderman, Legos, Frozen anything, slime, and play dough. My eldest, Amirah, is a budding writer and artist, and she will sit and draw and or write for hours. She is also a competitive karate kid. Azarah, my middle, is super interested in taking ballet, so she will be starting soon."
-
- "I always thought the idea of children was cute, but figured I would entertain it after my ballet career in my late 30s. I got pregnant at 24 after the doctor said I wouldn’t be able to have children. I think I’ve always mothered, especially my siblings, lol—I was always the little big sister, so subconsciously I think I always knew I would be a mother."
-
- "I had two surprise pregnancies: My eldest and youngest. Our middle child was planned—I had to get a surgery to remove cyst in my fallopian tubes, because I wasn’t ovulating for a year. I was able to get pregnant rather quickly after that. For the most part, all three of my pregnancies were relatively smooth. I worked out, only gained 20-to-25 pounds during each one, and never had any health complications. I delivered all three unmedicated after being given Pitocin because my body won’t naturally contract. So, the delivery was painful because Pitocin isn’t natural and makes you contract at an extreme rate. I react to it very quickly and will go from 1 cm to 10 in 30 minutes. I had a lot of pelvic pains with my youngest child because I got pregnant quickly after the second. So I wasn’t able to work out as much. I gained weight after the pregnancy, which was really odd—my body just kind of shut down. The doctor said it can happen when you have close pregnancies. For me, I have an autoimmune disease called Crohns. So, sometimes my body just goes into shock and does strange things. I breastfed all three girls for a little over a year. The only negative with my last two pregnancies was my doctor. He was extremely abrasive and insensitive. He kept trying to force me to get a epidural to make me be quiet and to rush my deliveries as he was 'very busy' both times. I wish I could have had a more caring doctor. My nurses on the other hand were so amazing, kind, and thoughtful. Thank God for nurses!"
-
- "With my first child, we lived in Ohio and my mom was five minutes away. We were the first ones to have a kid out of our close knit group of friends. Everyone wanted to watch Amirah, and my mom was over our house almost every single day and really played a huge role in helping my husband and I raise our first child. Now we live almost 3000 miles away from most of our family and friends with kids. So I don’t have much help and never rested after having a second and third child. It was kinda like business as usual."
-
- "I work from home, so somebody tell my husband I am still waiting on my six week leave."
-
- "I read Battle Hymn of The Tiger Mother and The Conscious Parent."
-
- "My own mother Laura Leigh, Nalo Wise , Kristen Carifa, Tiffany Olverson, Passion Green, Codie Elaine Oliver, Melanie Fiona, Kenya Raymer, LaTonya Yvette, Kelly Mcknight, Brandi Jackson, Candace Montgomery, Mara Akil, Jodie Paterson, just to name a few."
-
- "It was, for the most part, very loving and nurturing. My mother was a single mother, but my father was and has always been a part of my life. My mother was like Miss Frizzle from The Magic School Bus. She made life fun, creative, and adventurous. She really should write a parenting book. My parents had joint custody, but didn’t follow the court-ordered rules. They have always been amazing friends and parented with love and openness. We could go to our father's house whenever we wanted, and my mother never got in the way of that if it wasn’t on 'his day.' My dad has been married most of my life to my stepmom, and together they had eight children. My mother had four children, me included. We were lucky to be raised together and to have a relationship with one another. I don’t ever call them my half siblings because I personally think that’s rude, and I love them all the same. My father worked, and still works, 12 hours almost every day most of my life. So whenever he wasn’t working he was around—but he was always working! So, I think now that I am a mother and see my daughters with their father, I realize I missed out on a lot of daily bonding. I’m blessed to have a close and open relationship with my father, and that we discuss this and spend as much time as we can whenever I’m in town. Recently he came to visit for a week and I had him all to myself and it was amazing, I can’t remember the last time I didn’t have to share him with all my siblings."
-
- "I would describe it as a conscious, helicopter, tiger mom. I am totally against putting your hands on your child, but I also know that it’s a learned behavior we all have to work through. I call myself a conscious parent because my husband and I are constantly thinking about our influence on our children and think about how our own behavior affects them. We correct ourselves and invest time in discussing things with our daughters and acknowledge how things will affect them and not just ourselves. I am tiger in areas when it comes to respect and following rules—we can discuss things and talk about feelings, but you still need to listen to your parents. We aren’t raising children to be disrespectful in the name of modern parenting. This can be accomplished in a respectful way on both ends. I'm a helicopter because I don’t really trust many people with my children. I also don’t let them wander off alone—this isn’t a movie, and I don’t have the money to hire private security to go find my child if someone abducts them. So I keep an eye on them to avoid anything that would require me needing help from the police. Sadly, black children aren’t a priority when it comes to saving in this country. I think I have anxiety as a black woman in this country. I don’t feel like the people who are supposed to save us would, which results in me being a tad bit on edge when we go places, and it sucks. I would love to let my kids run around the table at restaurants without a care in the world, but children of color don’t have those luxuries."
-
- "I was homeschooled from second grade until ninth grade. My mom homeschooled myself and ten other kids, and we even had to wear uniforms. It was very structured but some of the best times of my life. I feel like the personal experience with teaching is what every child deserves. Sadly, the school system in America only benefits a small demographic of wealthy people. So, I knew I wanted my daughter to have the best education we could provide as well as allow us to be flexible to travel and explore the world. When Amirah was an only child it was a lot easier because I could just focus on her. However her two younger sisters are so much younger than her and I’m focusing on the basics with them. Sometimes it’s difficult to go between the two of them. However, my husband has stepped up this year a lot and has kind of taken over teaching Amirah. The experience has been amazing—my daughter is in the 5th grade and tested into the 7th. Now if I could just get my three year old to stop screaming whenever something doesn’t go her way I would be onto something!"
-
- "America was designed to benefit rich white men. The policies, practices, and inception of this country was built on the backs and basis of slavery. This country hasn’t changed much at all for people of color, immigrants from unpopular countries, or poor people. I think modern white women were perhaps delusional about the real climate of this country because we had one black president, but even then, unarmed black kids were still being shot and black men were still being sent to jail for extended periods for petty crimes or no crime at all. So, to me this country has been as it’s always been. Some small changes are made but people living in poverty, with low incomes, or just being of color—it all feels the same way it did when our ancestors were slaves. It’s suffocating, and we just find joy when we can, while trying to fight to change things on a real scale."
-
- "Work on your own traumas, really think about how you were raised, and if you truly believe in the things you were taught. Make a conscious effort to really be present emotionally for your child and be comfortable with apologizing when you don’t get it right. Motherhood is one of the most beautiful experiences in your life. There is not one right way to do it, so always do what’s best for you and your child. At the same time, don’t be afraid to change and take advice in areas you could do better."
-
- "No, sometimes I think about having one more but then all my kids are screaming or crying! Or we are just out and about and I’m like, who is going to hold this nonexistent baby?!"
-
- "I’m a writer and creator. I published a children’s book, and am currently pitching a television show—not an easy task, it's going on year three. I started an organization called Beautiful Me. I go to schools and talk to kids and adults about diversity by hosting workshops. I started hosting panels with women to discuss a variety of topics that concern women. I co-founded MomsInColor with three other women and we host events that pertain to issues concerning women/mothers of color and our community. I finished my favorite project so far which is the Forever Journal. It's in honor of my beautiful sister who passed away. It’s a beautiful prompted journal that allows parents and grandparents to leave their legacy behind in their own words for their children. I can’t wait to release it and help people share their own stories with the ones they love."
-
- "The Beautiful Me campaign came after the book. The book came from conversations I had with my daughter about her skin complexion and how she wanted to be dark like me. I looked for books that celebrated all skin tones and couldn’t find one. So, I created one, and it got such an amazing response that I created a workshop to go along with it. I have a deep passion for children’s education and women's self-esteem. It’s so important to me to create things that create conversation, and uplift and encourage people to be their best selves. My motto is 'Create. Love. Empower.' I create with my daughters in mind—would they like this? Would this uplift them, enhance them, or make them better people? I just wanted to create a book that all little children could read and feel loved."
-
- "Kelly Mcknight, Brandi Jackson, and Candace Montgomery are all women I respect and admire. I also have the pleasure of being their friend. We all got tired of attending events as the token black moms. The events weren’t that welcoming and didn’t seem to have black women in mind, but wanted us there to appear that way. So, we got together and started hosting events, workshops, mamma meet-ups and conferences for women of color. We created a beautiful, safe space for women of color to come and feel seen, heard, and respected. Together, we are addressing issues that aren’t often addressed in other spaces. It’s one of the best things I ever created with other women."
-
- "I grew up on the south side of Columbus, Ohio. It was the hood, but inside our home it was an oasis. My mom put up posters of every continent, and made us memorize the countries and capitals. She had posters of black leaders and the largest book shelf that covered the whole wall. The books ranged from the Hebrew bible to cook books on vegetarian/vegan eating. My mom was way ahead of the healthy eating wave. She would pack us celery sticks with raisins in our lunches instead of cookies. I remember going to college and discovering boxed macaroni and cheese. I refused to eat it because my mother had been cooking me homemade meals my whole life. Who knew a little black girl from the hood could be a food snob, but I was and am. My mother grew up on a farm, so she taught us so much about real food and cooking, and shared that knowledge with our neighbors, as well. I was raised Christian and Muslim but also attended Temples and Chrisna services. My mom was raised as a black woman but is also white, Spanish, Native American, and Jewish. She grew up when being multiracial wasn’t a thing and you had to pick a side. So, she raised my siblings and I to be proud black people and to know our history as well as others. I had a very colorful childhood full of education, community, and self love. I attended Wright State Community College, but eventually I got so sick and was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. I started working at Nationwide Insurance, and then after my sister passed away, I moved to New York to pursue my dance career. After I got pregnant with my first daughter at 24, I moved back to Ohio and got my insurance license and worked for an insurance company. After I had my daughter, I worked for a home health care company in HR and was able to bring my baby to work with me. The company closed and I decided to get my associates of arts at Columbus State Community College. I tested out of English at Wright State, but when I went back to college I chose a ton of philosophy and English classes because I loved literature so much. I knew after I got my associates that I wanted to pursue my career in writing. I say 'my' because I knew it was for me and my path. I’ve always written, even as a child my sister and I would make newspaper articles and create commercials together. Writing has always been how I expressed myself and challenged my friends and strangers to think differently."
-
- "I have always been a dancer and it was my life dream to dance with Alvin Alley. I have always been a writer, as well. I didn’t think I would follow my writing path so soon. However, after becoming a mother at 24, I created a children’s book about diversity because I couldn’t find any for my daughter. From there I decided to really focus on my writing career and take it seriously. I’m currently working on pitching a TV show and a journal that’s very dear to my heart."
-
- "I have some amazing friends that I’ve known for a long time who also moved to L.A. when we did—they are also from Ohio. I’ve also made some amazing new friendships while living here, and met some women who are amazing moms and just good people. I have an emotional support system locally and long distance. When it comes down to people actually watching my children, that’s very rare. Mostly because everyone has their own children and my childless friends are out living their best lives! I do have a few people who I can depend on, but I just feel guilty asking for help. I’m working on that because it’s more of my own issue. I promised myself this year I would actually look for a nanny/sitter I can trust."
-
- "It’s totally possible—much harder when you have children, but very possible. You have to give yourself grace in all areas. Really practice time management and understand that you will probably sleep less than most for a little while. On the flip side, I have taken time after a baby and just decided I wasn’t going to write. I just wanted to spend time healing and loving my baby. I just stopped creating, but when I got back to it, I felt more creative. There are also moments when I had to step away from the house for the whole day to actually finish an entire 32-page script in a day. Then slowly work on it to perfect it for about two weeks. There is no real formula and no such thing as balance. You have to listen to your heart and know when to push yourself, when to give yourself grace and when to focus on your craft. You will never find the time, so create the time. Ask for help, let go of things that don’t really matter, and don’t ever believe someone who tells you that you can’t have it all. You can. You might not get it all at once, but you can surely have it all at some point."
-
-
"I for sure deal with it, and have dealt with it since becoming a mother. I’ve learned to take a deep breath and follow my instincts. If I feel like I just need to be with my kids, then I will not attend an event or even cut a trip short. On the flip side, I’ve also had to push myself to get out the house and do things for myself. For me, if it’s not enhancing my career or making money, it’s usually not important enough for me to do before my kids go to bed. I prefer hanging with my friends after my kids go to bed, anyway. The best way to combat it is to really just talk to yourself about what your current needs are. Don’t feel guilty for needing time away from your kids and don’t feel guilty about wanting to be with them. Just remember, you always need a little time away, it makes you a better parent."
Ashley wears H&M pants and a Zara top.
-
- "The access to oceans, mountains, and career advancement. My oldest daughter is an amazing writer at only ten years old. She wants to model and act. I love being so close to opportunities for her. We are also super outdoorsy, and being able to go outside everyday, all year round, brings us so much joy. We love to go hiking and spend long days at the beach—pretty much wherever the vitamin D is."
-
- "We are originally from Columbus, Ohio. That's where my husband and I grew up, met, and went to college. I lived in New York shortly in my early twenties to follow my dream of dancing with a ballet company. I got pregnant and moved back to Ohio and my husband and I raised our first daughter there in the home we still own. We moved to California when our first daughter Amirah was six years old. My husband and I want to temporarily live in Italy, Hawaii, and Cambodia. Our dream is to travel the world with our kids and have short stays in certain areas. I think our forever living will always be in Cali and Ohio."
-
- "My favorite place to eat will always be Sabroso’s in Anaheim. I don’t care what part of Cali you live in, make the drive! We also love H.O.P.E. vegan Thai in Burbank, Chicas Tacos, Thai Brothers in Laguna Beach and La Pergoletta in Silverlake. My husband and I will travel for good food, and this partially why we want to live in other countries temporarily, lol. People think we are nuts, but we will drive to the other side of the state if good food is promised. We love hiking at Crystal Cove, Culver City Stairs, and driving to Laguna Beach to spend the day."
-
- "My colors are gray and black, and my style is a classic feminine-masculine love story. I have a very authentic love for Jordans, sneakers, and Nike sweats. I grew up in the hood listening to hip hop, and that culture is forever a part of my style. But it’s also mixed with a love of classics: denim, white shirts, gray basics. I kinda flow between the two and will find myself somewhere in the middle, with flowy dresses and random prints. I have many sides to me, and my style kinda matches the mood I’m in. I would say when I gained weight after my third child I wore more tight fitting clothes, ironically. Just because I wanted to prove to myself that I still had some type of shape. However, as I’ve been dropping the weight and getting back to the body I’m comfortable with, I’ve gone back to wearing baggier clothes again."
-
- "Gray shirts, because I wear them everyday. My favorite jeans are by Madewell, Zara, and Levi’s. My friends call me Doug Funny because I wear the same thing everyday, and am the type of person who will buy ten of the same shirt. The brands I mentioned I love because they fit my body shape the best. The jeans fit around my curves and don’t smash my butt. I love t-shirts from the men's section of Gap and J. Crew, I could live in those. Nike tech sweats and a t-shirt from thefruitmkt.com will always be my first choice for comfort."
-
- "I wash my face with Dr. Bronner's and Honest Beauty face wash. I then apply rosehip oil spray and Honest Beauty face oil. I only wash my face with a washcloth and cold water. I also have a plant-based diet and I strongly believe the lack of meat, dairy, and processed sugars keeps my skin clear. I work out 4 to 5 times a week at the gym in our apartment building. Sometimes I don’t get to go until like 9 p.m., but I make sure I work out. It’s crazy because I’ve been a dancer my whole life; always an athlete, even in high school. I spent my life in 2 to 3-hour dance classes every day. So, when I got older, I had to learn how to workout in the gym and actually make time for that type of fitness. I was used to my lifestyle of dance, and never realized I would have to replace that time in the dance studio with gym routines. I meditate/pray every morning and night, and I do yoga with my kids during the day to calm them down. We also take walks and go hiking just to keep it interesting. Self-care for me is creating space to accomplish goals. Whether it be finishing a script, writing new episodes, creating more books, or just content for my IG feed. Self-care for me lately has really been about forcing myself to have space to create outside of motherhood."
-
- "Sometimes it's walking through Target aimlessly, grabbing food with friends, going to a coffee shop to write, or just working out. It’s really based off of what I need that day. I make the time by communicating with my husband and then creating a plan together to find the time. He will cook dinner that night, or stay home during their nap so I can go to the gym. We work really well as a team and try to make sure both of us have time to do things outside of parenthood."
-
-
"It’s super important because my mother is one for me. I think about it often, which is why I’m very conscious of how I respond, act, and behave in front of them. I want them to learn the best from me, but most importantly, I want them to be human. I want them to learn how to apologize, to self correct, and to be okay with being flawed. I just want them to feel free to exist and know they are loved."
Ashley wears Ace & Jig pants and a Gap top.
-
-
"I really want to get this show picked up, shoot it in my hometown of Ohio, and just do something that hasn’t been done by someone from where I’m from. I also can’t wait to release this journal I’ve been working on. The Forever Journal is my way of honoring my sister Rebekah. She journaled all the time, she kept a thumb drive with all her writings on it that was never returned to our family after she passed. This journal is a way for all parents to leave something beautiful for their children. Something she tried to do but wasn’t able to accomplish. I want to accomplish this for her to honor her."
For more on Ashley and her beautiful fam, be sure to follow along on Instagram.
Write a Comment
Share this story
I just saw you and your husband on Marriage Be Hard, with Kevin and Melisa. I am now a fan. My pray for you is God, continue to bless you, your family with all of the blessings of the most High God. Father, keep this family safe, protect them from all evil-spiritual and physical. Bless them to succeed in all that You have prepared for them. In Jesus Christ name I pray. And in Jesus name it is done. Amen