
At Home With Boho Mama-To-Be Avery Cheatham Banks
Written by Katie Hintz-Zambrano
Photography by Photographed by Erika Layne
Pregnancy. Loss. Moving. Marriage. Birth. So much has happened to today’s mama Avery Cheatham Banks (a.k.a. @theboheaux), and in a stunningly short period of time. Just weeks after announcing her pregnancy to her immediate family this spring, her father died unexpectedly, leaving behind an intense mixed bag of emotions (which she’s still processing today). Avery and her partner moved into a new space in Arlington, Viriginia, got married earlier this month, and—just days after the wedding—welcomed their little one, Primrose Ollie, on September 15th. Below, the brand-new mother walks us through her soulful space, sweet nursery, and the rollercoaster year she’s been through.
- Avery, in a jumpsuit by Ozma of California, invites us into her space alongside her beloved dog, Killie.
- "Our home is in a historic Arlington, Virginia, neighborhood about a stone's throw from the Pentagon. I lost my father quite unexpectedly mid-March before we'd even announced our pregnancy to anyone beyond our immediate families. The day after he transitioned, something awoke inside of me where I just needed to pick up and create a new space and new beginning for our growing family. I broke our lease on our one-bedroom city apartment and found this perfect little house on Zillow within the same hour and we moved here the first week of April."
- Personal and earthy elements abound.
- "Our home's aesthetic is some kind of bohemian, cottagecore hodgepodge with a dash of mid-century modern flair."
- "When I bring new things into our home, it has to be functional and it has to be joyful. I'm a thrifter and a collector of antiques, so I fall in love with old pieces with heart on a regular basis. When I bring something new in, I do a pretty good job of letting go of something else. Bi-monthly purges are my love language."
- "Absolutely. My partner and I used to be so transient, and home was just a place where we'd shower before heading out to dinner or lay our heads before work. Now that we're home so much more often, I've worked to create a soothing, comfortable space where we can function as a little family. There's plenty of seating and pillows so we can work comfortably, and happy corners of flowers and knick-knacks to keep us motivated throughout the day."
- "I'm most excited to make the kinds of memories my own mom and I made. We had so many one-on-one dates and songs and little getaways and I can't wait to create my own traditions with my daughter, Primrose."
- "Is it silly that I'm most nervous that she likes me? I really want her to like me."
- We spy one of our favorites—the Always Pan by Our Place in a pretty rose hue.
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"I've relied some on Emily Oster's Expecting Better to calm my anxious thoughts. She's an economist who presents a lot of very matter-of-fact pregnancy myth debunking. Overall, it's been reminding me to be easy on myself as babies are resilient little beings."
"I'm also really excited to dive into Let Them Eat Dirt soon, as it discusses microbial communities and how they relate to our overall health, especially with raising babies in an overly sanitized world."
- "It's cliche, but it's been a rollercoaster. Specifically, it's been one of those rickety wooden rollercoasters that I love so much but man, do they rattle you! With the sudden loss of my father just a couple of weeks after we told him he was going to be a grandpa, it's been an extremely emotional pregnancy. I've weathered mourning him while also moving my family out to the suburbs, traveling to his memorial, and getting prepared for Baby P. Along with all the emotions that one already experiences while pregnant, I've also been at times immobilized by my grief. It's been challenging."
- A little tea time on the patio.
- "In some far-off distant land, sure. I've always abstractly wanted kids but I don't know that I'd ever thought about really being a mother. Being pregnant with P, I've had 9 months to really look inward and think about motherhood in a very real way."
- "I'm personally surprised that I feel so good physically. I did a lot of barre3 during my first and second trimester which gave me some light cardio and beautiful stretching for my changing body. During the third trimester, it's been a little tougher to keep up with my usual workouts. Instead, my partner and I have been enjoying long, lazy walks with our pup, Killie. It won't be long until our family walks will include a stroller, so I've been soaking up these last moments."
- "Everyone has been so surprised that I'm not giving birth at home in a baby pool with incense burning and Fleetwood Mac playing on a record player! I'm very laid-back and bohemian in a lot of ways, but not with my birth plan. We're going to a hospital where there will be plenty of doctors and IV drips and all the crushed ice I can eat."
- "I grew up in Richmond, Virginia, in a blended family. My bonus brother and sister have been in my life since I was about 5 years old, and my little sister came along when I was 10. It was always nice having each other, even if it was sometimes only on the weekends. Me and my little sister lived full-time in the same house and while we weren't friends when I was a teen and she was in elementary school, since she was about 16, we've never been closer. Now, being her friend as she navigates her young adulthood has been such a joy. That's my little bestie."
- "We are consciously going to work to incorporate freedom of thought and self-expression into bringing up P. We're both artists in our own right and really want P to be just...'free to be.'"
- That pregnancy glow.
- "Yes, being conscious and sustainable is super important to me! I hope to raise P so that she's aware of what she uses and her waste and how that impacts her community. This can be as simple as how many toys she has and how often we buy new clothes. Shoot, even just teaching her how to use less toilet paper and to turn the water off when she's brushing her teeth will be a win."
- The eldest fur baby keeping guard.
- "Another cliche, but my mom is my biggest maternal inspiration. It's amazing that she was able to raise me in a way where she always felt like an authoritative, parental figure, but at the same time, a friend. I really like my mom and I really like spending time with her. I hope P feels the same way about me."
- "This year has been so emotional for our family and having our baby is the best silver lining we could be blessed with. We wanted to choose a name that reminds us of everything that is sweet and good and Primrose fit the bill. Her middle name is Ollie, my father’s name. He was so excited to hear he was going to be a grandad just a handful of weeks before he unexpectedly passed. Sharing his name with her keeps him alive and with us always."
- A cozy corner leading upstairs.
- Avery wears a dress by Anthropologie.
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"I modeled Primrose's room after a room in my grandma's old house. She had one of those classic white chenille bedspreads and floral sheets and it was always so comforting to me as a kid. Since the nursery is also our guest room, I did our twin guest bed exactly like how I remembered my grandmother's."
"As far as the decor and colors, I was inspired by Peter Rabbit. I've been slowly collecting some Wedgwood china from the Beatrix Potter Peter Rabbit collection and displaying it in P's room, so there's lots of whites and blues and bunny accents."
- Just one of many bunnies hopping around the space.
- All smiles.
- "One of my favorite finds is her Wedgwood piggy bank that looks like a little display of Peter Rabbit books. We keep that on the nightstand next to the guest bed. My friend also sent us the sweetest handmade mobile. There are these little felt animals on it wearing the sweetest clothes. My favorite one is a spiffy-looking fox in a suit."
- "My mom and my sister are so close that adding a girl to our little coven has seemed like the most natural thing for our family. Of course, we'd have been just as excited for a boy. I've actually been thinking about gender a lot and how I want to raise P to be whatever kind of person she wants to be. It's really important to me that she's able to fully express herself and that we don't place gender norms on her. We've been gifted a few sweet books about inclusivity, including Pink is for Boys and Julián is a Mermaid."
- The aforementioned titles, Pink is for Boys and Julián is a Mermaid, snuggled up on the side table.
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"I'm the Customer Experience Associate at Meow Meow Tweet! I work with customers on a daily basis to educate them about our vegan skincare, help with their orders, and coach them through using our natural deodorants."
"I actually landed this job during the pandemic after being laid off from a high-stress management position with a startup. I was doing some content creation for Meow Meow Tweet through my Instagram page, The Boheaux, and when our projects were over, I saw that they were hiring in a full-time capacity. I distinctly remember asking our marketing person and our co-founder, Tara, if it'd be weird for me to apply (it wasn't). Looking back, it couldn't have all fallen into place more perfectly."
- "I worked in high-end retail management for most of my career after getting a degree in Public Relations and a minor in Electronic Journalism from George Mason University. I've always loved fashion and people, and my favorite parts of my job have always been the social events on the town where I've gotten to rub elbows with D.C.'s 'who's who' and pretend to be a socialite. The stories I've heard, man oh man! I just love connecting with folks and learning about them."
- "My creativity ebbs and flows. I really wish I had more rhyme or reason to it! Being in nature inspires me and we've done a lot of that throughout the pandemic. If you scroll back in my Instagram around the middle of 2020, I was spending a lot of time hanging in fields in sundresses picking flowers. There were many days I was just laying in the grass barefoot and sometimes I really miss that period when life was so slow."
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"Finding motivation while being at home can be challenging. I worked remotely at the start-up, but since I was the Community Manager, I also spent a lot of time in the field and meeting new people. That kept me energized. Now it's super important that I carve out time to break my day up, even if that means a short walk around the block. I also have to make an effort to separate my working spaces from my relaxing spaces. When they blend together, that can really mess up my groove."
A few go-to decks: the Star Spinner Tarot deck and The Doula Deck.
- "My style is very glam bohemian. I take a lot of inspiration from the '70s. My staple pieces in my wardrobe are my jumpsuits, my maxi dresses, and my overalls. Basically, any of my 'one and done' outfits."
- "Not really. I'm really happy that I've been able to pretty much wear all my favorite things while pregnant. For the pieces that don't quite zip or button right now, I've gotten really creative with layering, which has been breathing new life into my wardrobe."
- "My current beauty routine is entirely focused on my skincare and I've been using the same couple of Meow Meow Tweet products to cleanse, tone, and moisturize. I live by their Face Cleanser, Geranium Palmarosa Toner, Juniper Carrot Seed Face Oil, and Skin Cream. I also swear by HoliFrog's Halo AHA+BHA Evening Serum to keep my complexion extra glowy these days, although, my pregnancy in general has been amazing for keeping me looking refreshed and bright! I have no idea why Baby P has been so good to my skin!"
- "My routine this past year has consisted of barre3 and plenty of stretching. Even though I haven't been able to take in-person outdoor classes with my barre3 Bethesda studio (it's simply just too hot for this pregnant mama), I've been finding deep connection with the barre3 Prenatal Collection online. I've also been super mindful with my daily routine, which starts from the morning where I do my best not to scroll on my phone before I've gotten up and brushed my teeth, all the way into the evening for my shower to cleanse myself and soothe my achy joints before bed. I also spend those last moments before the light goes off massaging my belly and talking to P. That's a really special time for the two of us."
- "I love that in Arlington, we're so close to the city but that we also feel a bit secluded in our little suburban enclave. I also love that we're so close to my immediate family, just about 45 minutes away. I was born and raised in VA and it's really hard to imagine being anywhere else, but my partner is from Chicago and you never know where life could take us!"
- "We're still getting our bearings in our new neighborhood and we haven't found 'our spots' yet. As far as date nights, we've enjoyed a restaurant up the street called Ruthie's All Day, and I'm excited to hang at their Instagram-worthy bar after P gets here. We've also created a nice tradition of hitting our local farmer's market every Sunday morning to stock up on fruit and microgreens. Within the last month, I've discovered my new coffee shop! It's called Idido's Social House and it's Black-owned and SO lovely. Everyone there is super welcoming and their almond croissants are absolutely sinful."
- "Life came at me so fast in 2021 and I now know how precious and fleeting it can really be. I'm intentional with every moment."
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"As a mom, I want to trust myself and my partner to make the best decisions that we can as parents and to not be too hard on ourselves when we fall short. I want to create a relationship built on honesty and understanding with my daughter. And I want P to always feel loved so deeply that even when we're gone, she will feel us near."
For more on Avery and her beautiful family—including her brand-new baby girl—be sure to follow her @theboheaux on Instagram.
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