Mother Stories
Tiny House Dweller Bela Fishbeyn On Living With Less In the Santa Cruz Mountains
Written by Erin Feher
Photography by Photography by Emily Scott
Oct 15, 2019
If you were to imagine your ideal life, what would it look like? Would you have more stuff, or less? If you’re like us, you probably spend more time fantasizing about downsizing—ditching all the chaos in your closets and chotskies in your cupboards than acquiring more. Bela Fishbeyn had that fantasy herself, and when she and her husband realized they had dumped more than $30k on rent in one year in the Bay Area, they decided it was time for a dramatic change in lifestyle. They ditched their apartment, sold all their furniture, and commissioned a builder who specialized in tiny houses to erect a custom, 300-square-foot abode on a patch of land in the Santa Cruz mountains. They would live with far less than they had before, allowing them to travel far more, and build the kind of life they had always dreamed about. What made this move even more notable was that shortly after giving up their permanent apartment, Bela learned she was pregnant. During a time most couples feel the need to set down roots, and let’s face it, acquire a bunch of questionably necessary stuff, Bela and Spencer were headed solidly in the opposite direction. They actually spent a chunk of Bela’s maternity leave living in Puerto Vallarta, because, well, they could. Today, the family, which includes 3-year-old Escher, live a pared-down life of abundance in their dreamy tiny home, renting it out and traveling for many months out of the year. They show us around their inspiring space—which extends far beyond the four walls of their small structure—and talk all about how making such a change has truly changed their lives. Click through the full tour below!
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- "After a year of living in the Bay Area, our rent went up. Not by much, but enough to make us realize that we had just spent $30,000 on housing that year—and for what? We felt as though we had flushed that money down the toilet and thought, there must be another way. Could we turn our necessary housing costs into an investment? At the same time, we were thinking about expanding our family. When we looked into the Bay Area housing market, we felt like we could never afford the sort of home we wanted, so we researched other solutions and stumbled upon tiny homes. It took a while to find the right builder—we didn’t just want another studio on wheels—but when we found him, we knew right away he was the one. We hassled him until he agreed to build our home."
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- "We found our land through Airbnb. We knew going into it that we wanted to travel a lot and rent our home on Airbnb while we traveled, so we wanted to find someone who was already familiar with the set up and wanted to manage our rental while we’re away. It’s a great arrangement, and it’s worked really well for us. The build itself was a whirlwind from start to finish—we went from signing the contract to having the home in just five months! It was such an exhilarating process, designing a 300-square-foot home when we'd never done it before. We visited the build site when it was just a trailer covered with wood and I remember thinking, oh my god, are we crazy?! What are we doing? But when the finished product arrived, it was incredible."
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- "The first thing that comes to mind is that our home breaks down the barriers between indoor and outdoor space. It’s filled with windows and natural lighting—our living room opens up completely, with a sliding glass door on one side and a glass garage door on the other—so that even when you’re indoors, you feel like you’re outside. Opening up the garage door leads you to a huge deck, which doubles the size of our home, and beyond the deck is a gorgeous view of the Santa Cruz mountains."
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- "Quality over quantity and a diversity of natural materials! One of the most exciting aspects of living in a tiny home is you get to curate every inch of your home. We love taking the time to find objects and art pieces we love, especially the ones that get better with age. We also love using different materials—burned wood, glass, metals, furs, linens, succulents, flowers, etc.—to create texture and natural color throughout the home. My favorite is buying fresh wildflowers, then drying them to decorate our space for years."
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- "You might be surprised that our tiny house has seven distinct spaces! We didn’t just want it to feel like a studio on wheels, so it was important to us to create a sense of transition throughout our home, usually separated by hard and soft barriers or levels. Our master bedroom is my favorite room of the house. It’s situated above the trailer hitch and includes a king-sized bed with a huge portrait window behind it. There’s a wood pattern on the ceiling and when you lie back in the bed, it feels like you’re floating in a magical airship. Our bedroom closes off with shoji doors, and when you lower the shades it turns into a cozy cave. I love sitting in our bedroom while I watch Spencer cook and popping up the garage door as the sun sets to hang out on the deck as a family. I also really like the fact that Escher’s lofted bedroom shifts you down to her size—adults can’t stand in it but she can, so you’re eye-to-eye the whole time."
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- "Step down from the bedroom and you’re in our kitchen, which is fully equipped and honestly, nicer than any kitchen I’ve ever used. My husband, Spencer, worked as a chef, so the kitchen was an important element in designing our home. Step down from the kitchen and you’re in our great room—a living/dining room with almost all glass walls that open up completely to the outdoors. Beyond that, an office/hallway area leads up to an L-shaped loft, which is Escher’s room. Our bathroom is below her bedroom, with a walk-in closet and a steamy shower."
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- "So many! Since we don’t have much stuff, each item in our home has been carefully collected or selected. We have a beautiful charcoal drawing that hangs in my office—the first piece of art we’ve ever bought, while on maternity leave in Mexico. I love the furs in our bedroom, the black metal décor I inherited from my family in Russia, the wooden boxes and trinkets on our shelves, the plants and flowers throughout our home, and the beautiful storybooks and music boxes in Escher’s room."
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- "Our philosophy on stuff is basically that it’s usually better to have nothing, and it’s definitely better to have nothing than crap. No amount of crap can amount to something great. We try to take that into account with everything we bring into the home and, as much as possible, with everything we buy. Uninspired toys made of plastic, clothing printed with pointless prints or adverting the latest Disney movie—we haven’t found a need for any of it. Escher plays in the dirt, she make-believes all the time, and she’s obsessed with socializing. We try and approach parenting as culture-design, and we definitely set expectations for Escher within that space. So far, she seems to thrive with less rather than more."
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- "Like the rest of our home, Escher’s room is filled with natural materials that are kid-friendly. She has these beautiful music boxes, a Buddha board, books, blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals. Escher loves to collect 'treasures' from the outdoors—acorns, pinecones, bird’s nests—which we’ll sometimes keep and display. With all the random junk she accumulates out in the rest of the world, we tell her, 'love it, then leave it.' She’s very respectful of things throughout our home and understands that it’s important to take care of the items we keep. We also LOVE local libraries! We don’t have a book collection but instead check out huge stacks of books and refresh them once every week or so. It’s seriously the best resource ever, especially when kids are so little and grow out of books quickly!"
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- "I love that I get the opportunity to create a family of my own, which in many ways is like creating a micro-culture of our own. Spencer has been staying at home with Escher since she was born, and it’s such a boon to have him dedicate 100% of his time and energy towards our family, our projects, and our lives. Our plan is to home-school, and between that and our other projects, I’m excited to create a life I love with my partner and have room to think outside the box."
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- "So much! I constantly feel awkward and like an imposter, especially since I’m not Escher’s primary caregiver, and am constantly wondering whether I’m making the right decisions. But, for me, one of the hardest parts of parenting is that I have to constantly think on my feet and make quick decisions without always knowing how it’ll turn out. I tend to prefer a slower pace and to take my time, but with motherhood that’s not always an option."
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- "I was thrilled when I learned I was having a girl! I found out about three months into my pregnancy. In the end, I’m not sure it really matters one way or another, but the idea of a girl seemed more relatable to me. I’m excited to watch her grow and hope to be close with her throughout her life. I hope as she grows that she feels like she’s loved unconditionally and that she can come to me about anything going on in her life, both good and bad, without fear."
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- "It’s so difficult to have the responsibility of naming someone! We thought of the name Escher—inspired by the artist, M.C. Escher—and it stuck from the beginning. But oddly her name has created challenges in my family, particularly with my mother, who refuses to call her by her name. Last names are also quite a challenge! In the end, Escher’s full name is Escher Elizabeth Kamalova-Wright. Elizabeth after my paternal grandmother, and Kamalova after my maternal grandmother. I’m planning to change my own last name to Kamalova soon."
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- Bela wears a Doen dress. Escher wears a Nativa dress. Spencer wears jeans and t-shirt from Mott & Bow.
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- "Escher’s almost three and a half and she’s most into people! She loves befriending complete strangers and asking them their names, how old they are, when their birthday is, and what sort of cake they plan to have for their birthday. Every time we walk into Wild Roots, the local grocery store, she’ll gleefully greet her favorite cashier, 'Jim!! HI!!!' Of course, she also hits them up for lots of stickers and any other treat she can get. She loves to read and to be read to, to dig in the dirt, and wear her gloves to 'help' Spencer while he’s working on the property. She loves listening to music, dancing, singing, playing make-believe, dressing up, and going on treasure hunts. She’s obsessed with The Wizard of Oz, The Nutcracker, and the Hansel and Gretel opera."
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- "It’s so difficult to say either way—I think so, but what does that even mean? How can I make an informed choice when I don’t even know what I’m getting myself into! Spencer and I could have gone either way on whether or not to have a kid. Ultimately, we decided to do it because we wanted to create a family together, but especially with the first kid, you’re making a choice not knowing what it’s like on the other side, and there’s no going back."
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- "When Spencer and I decided that we were ready to have a baby, I took out my birth control and literally got pregnant the next day. I didn’t expect it to happen so soon and that created some challenges for my family, who was a bit shocked by the news. I had a lot of morning sickness—a.k.a. all-day sickness—which was challenging, and weird itchy rashes in the second trimester, but my pregnancy was otherwise fairly easy and thankfully uneventful."
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- "I took about four months of maternity leave and Spencer stopped working after I gave birth, which was amazing. This was when we realized that we could trade paying the ridiculously high cost of rent in the Bay Area for taking a 'free' vacation! We spent a month of my maternity leave renting a penthouse in Puerta Vallarta that came with a caregiver for the same cost as our one-bedroom Oakland apartment."
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- "Harvey Karp’s Happiest Baby was a game changer. We had no idea what we were doing when we first took Escher home from the birthing. We were putting her diapers on backwards until Spencer’s mom came and pointed it out. The five S's from Karp’s book worked so well for us, both in creating a loose schedule and getting our sleep back. It was eye-opening to realize that taking care of a newborn is nothing at all like taking care of a child."
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- "Honestly, my 'mom' icon is Spencer! He’s Escher’s primary caregiver and he takes care of our home and our lives. He does it all—our laundry, cooking, cleaning, building, driving, playing—with such integrity and grace. It’s inspiring to see how much love and care he puts into everything he touches."
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"My family immigrated from Russia to the U.S. in 1991 to escape anti-Semitism. I was five-and-a-half years old. My mother tried to hold onto our Russian culture as much as possible, so we only spoke Russian at home and I was raised reading Russian books and watching Russian movies. My mom is a music teacher, so music was a big part of my life growing up—I played piano and violin—and so was art, though I was thankfully treading on my own for that one. My dad worked so hard—they both did—to adjust to living in a different country and to try to create better opportunities for our family. I’m so grateful to them both."
"It’s difficult to think about my upbringing without mentioning my father’s accident, the tragedy that changed our family. Five years into living in the U.S., my mom was eight months pregnant with her second child (my wonderful sister, Eliana!), my dad had a great job that he loved, and we were thriving. He went on a short work trip and got into a terrible car accident. He was in a coma for days. The doctors didn’t know if he’d make it. Though he pulled through, everything changed. He was not the father I knew or remembered and it took a huge emotional toll on my then-pregnant mother, having to care for a new baby and a husband with memory trouble, and me, of course, at ten. It makes me cry thinking back to it all, how it felt, how difficult it was to make sense of as a child. Ultimately I think it broke my family, but my mother and father both eventually found new partners and I think they’re both very happy."
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- "As much as possible, I try to not see my child as an extension of my ego and try to think before I correct Escher—do I actually care about this or am I just feeling embarrassed by something she’s doing or virtue signaling to anyone watching? I try to not think of my love as transactional and instead feel a simple sort of love, unconditional, and let go of the notion that she has to be a certain way or accomplish certain things to earn my love. Since I’m not Escher’s primary caregiver, I get to be the 'dad' and take her on super fun outings and offer her fun treats without really worrying too much about the consequences."
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- "I’m not sure, it’s difficult to say, but I don’t think it has directly. I remember feeling like it was such a big deal when Trump was elected but in the end, it’s fleeting and it will change."
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- The most beautiful, most efficient bathroom ever!
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- "One thing that’s happened for me, since motherhood, is that I feel like I’ve become acutely aware of the passage of time. Moments feel more fleeting than before, and it’s not all just about Escher growing up, it’s also about feeling like I’m getting older and so is Spencer and the general—slightly nostalgic and sometimes uncomfortable—feeling of the passing of time."
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- "Don’t listen to other people’s advice! Kidding. But seriously, I remember how being pregnant and having a kid opened me up to both friends and strangers offering their advice way more than usual. And while I appreciated them sharing their thoughts and experiences, my circumstances are so different from theirs. Just because it went one way for them doesn’t mean it’ll go the same way for me. Embrace you own experience and think about what’s best for you."
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- "For anyone interested in buying a tiny house, reach out to others for help! There’s a huge community of folks out there and there are so many hurdles along the way. Most of the tiny community is eager and willing to help, myself included! Downsizing can be so liberating, but it’s a different experience for everyone. Take it slow, think about what’s most important for you and your family. No one thinks about all the things they didn’t buy on their death bed, they think about the time they spent not doing what they wanted, the experiences they missed."
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- "Actually, yes! We decided this week that we’re ready for a second kid, so I stopped taking my birth control and we’re seeing what happens. I can’t really say that we’re trying, but we’re not getting in the way of it. If it happens, great! If not, that’s okay, too."
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- "More than anything, I love how tight-knit, affectionate, and close we are as a family. Living in a tiny house has forced us to think deeply about our lifestyle, our day-to-day, and figure out what’s most important for us. I love watching her imagination blossom—she’s deep into make-believe and it’s hard not to attribute that interest to the fact that she’s never had much stuff. But I think my favorite thing of all is how social Escher is—she LOVES people more than anything and has never met a stranger! Part of it seems engrained in her personality, but again, I also think that growing up around less stuff has played a role. So much of living in a tiny home is living outside the home! There’s so much to do in the area, from the Santa Cruz beaches and farmers' markets, to local libraries and playgrounds, to Big Basin and the hiking ridge on the property. Our rental arrangement also creates a strong incentive to travel, which we do as often as we can."
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- "This is such a fun area for families and kids! There’s tons of stuff to do and the nature scene is stellar. I love that Escher is attuned to nature, she constantly comments on 'how beautiful' the sunset is and she talks to trees, birds, deer. Just this morning there were little chickadees drinking water right outside out home and Escher plopped down to watch and chat with them. It’s the sweetest thing in the world."
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- Bela wears a Natalie Martin dress. Escher wears a Mabo Kids jumpsuit.
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- "Yes, absolutely! Hopefully we’ll live in a lot of different places at the same time! Through short-term rentals, our aim is to own several homes and migrate with the seasons. I still remember when Spencer and I took our first big trip to Europe, back in 2011 when Airbnb was still new, and we fell in love with the Airbnb experience—the combination of the feeling of home with travel. We’re hoping to set up a second property in the North Carolina mountains next year, and after it’s all set up, we’ll live in it some of the year and rent it out as a vacation home for the rest, just like our tiny house. If things go our way, we’ll have multiple properties scattered throughout the U.S.—and the world, fingers crossed!—creating spaces to share with others and traveling between our own homes."
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- Extra rooms can be found all over the property, indoors and out!
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- "Boulder Creek is such a cute little town! There’s a great grocery store called Wild Roots, a sushi restaurant, and local burger joint right across from a playground. Big Basin is right down the road, and we go to the Santa Cruz beaches and farmers' markets almost every weekend. We’re regulars at the local libraries and playgrounds. Fall is one of our favorite seasons in NorCal—not only is the weather perfect but there are tons of festivals to go to! The NorCal Renaissance Festival is our absolute favorite—we’ve been going for five years now."
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- "I love dresses more than anything. I basically live in them as much as possible. I’d say my style is feminine, boho, and chic."
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- "Not really, but it’s changed since moving into a tiny house. I’ve truly—and happily—adapted towards investing in higher quality pieces and having fewer, better things."
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- One of the best seats in the 'house' for sure!
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- "I can tell you literally every item in my wardrobe—and Spencer’s and Escher’s, for that matter! Every item I own is a staple! My go-to's for dresses and tops are Doen, Sezane, Spell & the Gypsy, and Everlane for basics. The pieces are pricey but they’re so well made and feminine, I’m excited to wear them again and again!"
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- "My skin and hair changed so much after pregnancy and nursing, and it took a while to find a routine that I loved. I mostly use products from The Ordinary—my faves are ALA 5%, Buffet + Copper Peptides, and Argan Oil. I love doing a quick daily face massage and occasional Gua Sha. I groom my hair and brows, curl my lashes, and sometimes apply a dash of RMS Master Mixer and Kjear Weiss blush. My husband and I both love using the lip mask from Bite Beauty. Sometimes I’ll take extra time to do my hair, but usually I like to keep it quick and simple."
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- "I love going on walks, listening to podcasts, and practicing pilates or yoga when I can find the time. I eat well and dress in a way that makes me feel good. I massage my face for a few minutes every day. Spencer and I love going to the gym together to lift weights and then sit and talk in the sauna. I also really love having time to work on the things I love, from photography to our blog."
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- "This has been super hard since having a kid! It’s a 24/7 gig, and when Escher’s down for the night, Spencer and I prefer to spend the evenings together talking about anything and everything. But I do get plenty of alone time—Spencer takes Escher out most days—and I try to go on at least a short walk every day."
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- "I work as the executive managing editor for The American Journal of Bioethics and have been doing it for over five years as of this summer. I started off going into the office most days, but after having Escher, I’ve had the opportunity to work remotely. As of January 2019, I’ve been officially 100% remote, which has made such a big difference in my personal and professional life."
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- "I was born in Kazan, Russia, but my family immigrated when I was five-and-a-half, so I mostly grew up in Greensboro, North Carolina. I attended a Jewish day school through the end of middle school and a public high school. I went to undergrad at UNC-CH, where I studied philosophy and photography. Afterwards, I tried to work professionally as a wedding photographer, but it was not for me, so I worked for a medical attorney for a year before pursuing a Master’s degree in Bioethics at Columbia. After that, I spent a year in Russia on a Fulbright grant and shortly after that, I got a job offer at Stanford—my current position."
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- This tiny house even comes with a full-sized dance floor.
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- "Motherhood pushed me to transition towards working 100% remotely. After a few years on the job, I realized that all my work was on the computer and could be done anywhere, so I kept asking for small increases. It didn’t happen all at once, but I’m so happy about the transition. Having a family has also pushed Spencer and I more towards entrepreneurship—we dream of working together and working for ourselves, of having a family business."
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- Bela wears a Sézane dress and Nani Pani headscarf. Escher wears a Natalie Martin dress.
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- "Spencer’s mom has been a huge help since Escher’s been born. She and Escher have such a special relationship and it’s so beautiful to watch them foster it. She’s taken care of Escher for months at a time, to give Spencer a chance to work on our projects. It’s been such a gift."
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- "As much as possible, try to not separate your life from your work. Try instead to turn your work into your life. If you can’t do that, make sure you put at least as much work into your personal life as you do into your professional life."
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- "I’m a Jewish-Russian immigrant, the guilt runs deep. Honestly, though, for me it’s less about guilt and more about my inner critic. I tend to question myself and my decisions, big and small, and then I feel guilty for doing that and not having more confidence! I try to recognize those emotions when I have them, to take deep breaths, to be okay where I’m at, and to try to take in the present moment and live in that instead of swimming in my thoughts. It’s challenging and I don’t always succeed, but I try."
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- "For me, this is one of the most important parts of being a parent! I think the best way to teach your kids is by showing them your idea of a life well lived, to set examples for them."
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- The dining room view leaves nothing to be desired.
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- "We’ve got a slew of personal projects in the works, and they’re all so tied together! As mentioned, we’re hoping to set up a second property in the North Carolina mountains next year. We’re also working on a magazine, Experimental Life, that we’re hoping to launch next year, and to work more on our blog. We’re planning on trying out vanlife for a month to see whether it’s something we’re into. Oh yeah, and maybe we’ll get to have another baby!"
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- For more on Bela, Spencer, Escher, and their adventures, be sure to follow them on Instagram.
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Beautiful home and very inspiring to think of ways I can pair down my family’s lifestyle. Any way to get the white dress info? I love it and must have :)
I think it is mentioned somewhere in the text – it is The Poet Dress by Doen :-)