Mother Stories
Meet Charmin Roundtree-Baaqee, Twin Mama, Art Consultant, & Engineer
Written by Erin Feher
Photography by
Photography by Maria del Rio
Jul 9, 2019
One of the best parts about our signature Mother profiles is that in the process of creating them, we get to really know a mama that we may have just seen around town, followed on social media, or heard about from a friend. Today’s subject is Charmin Roundtree-Baaqee, and we can only imagine our readers will love getting to know this amazing woman as much as we have. She makes a strong first impression: Her style is always on point—bold colors, funky clogs, and an infectious smile are her signature accessories. But chat her up, and you quickly realize she is also kind, warm, and humble. So humble that it may take a couple more chats to find out that she’s both a brainy civil engineer (her 9 to 5), and an entrepreneur who runs her own art consultant business, Art is Luv, on the side. And just when you think she can’t get any more interesting, you find out she’s a wise and loving mama to the sweetest 10-year-old twins on the planet. So yeah, at this point we were practically begging to profile her. Lucky for us, she generously invited us over to her Oakland home, and…well, we’ll let you uncover that final surprise for yourself. Click through Charmin’s house tour and interview below, and enjoy getting to know this inspiring mother!
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- "We actually found our home over ten years ago on Craigslist—those were the days when Craigslist was probably one of the few reliable community market resources. There was no open house. The previous owner was in her mid 80s. Her parents owned it before her. The house was built in 1929 and was once occupied by Navy officers as part of a former Naval base."
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- "I like to think of our home as a modern Moroccan homestead. It has a very lived-in feel that embraces the formality of its era."
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"The bones of the house were in pretty good shape, and most things were still in tact when we purchased the home. The only problem was that nothing had been touched. The original paint was on the walls, all of the electrical was knob and tube, the windows were all original, and the pipes were galvanized. We tackled the must-do's first, then made our way into the kitchen, and eventually the exterior spaces of the property. We were fortunate to win an HGTV Curb Appeal front exterior makeover a few years ago. That was an awesome experience."
Charmin wears Rachel Comey clogs. Phoenix wears Hanna Andersson clogs.
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- "I try to be intentional about what we allow to hold space in our home. I love decorative items that are both functional and have a story that reminds us of special moments. I suppose our house is full of mini time capsules, but not the dusty musty ones."
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- The hand-built treehouse in the backyard is part kids' art studio, part secret hangout.
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- "I love our neighbors. There’s a good mix of people. It’s pretty diverse culturally and socio-economically, and there are families of all ages and types. We have neighbors we consider family. We eat and drink wine together and our children bounce from house to house. I also love that our neighborhood is within close proximity to the East Bay Regional Parks. Within 5 or 10 minutes, we are surrounded by open space, redwoods, oak trees, meadows, and fresh air."
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- "I love Oakland and I love the Bay Area, but it’s hard to see so many folks I grew up with struggling because the cost of living is so high. Even for us, we are forced to make tough decisions like private school versus travel, or opting for a two-income household instead of one of us staying home. Not to mention, it feels like we live a world away from everything else, which makes travel pretty expensive. Thank God California has so much to offer. I could maybe see living in Los Angeles, Atlanta, or somewhere abroad. Although, I know that I would miss the Bay."
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- "For shopping, Hawthorn, Owl N’ Wood, Maribel, Atomic Garden, McMullen, Crown Nine, Alameda Flea, Heath Seconds, and The Dry Garden. I get all my alterations done at Shirley Designs and Alterations—the owner is a former mechanical engineer and an amazing seamstress. Our favorite places to eat are Teni East Kitchen, Itani Ramen, Golden Lotus, Cactus Taqueria, which is great for kids, Mama’s Royal Cafe, Market Hall, Grandeur, and Arizmendi. When I want a drink, it's Bardo Lounge, Red Bay Coffee, Cafe 187, and in the dining rooms and kitchens of my friends' homes. As a family we like to explore the East Bay Regional Parks, museums including MOAD, OMCA, Exploratorium, Di Rosa, de Young, and the Old Oakland Farmers Market—it has a great selection and I love seeing my friends there. Spirit Haus Gallery is our spot for live music."
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- "I love witnessing growth in myself and in my children in such a beautiful and unexpected way. Children welcome life with open arms. They are fearless, accepting, eager, and thoughtful in ways that enrich lives well beyond their knowing. I believe that motherhood is something that I was born with. My children allow me to share the best parts of this gift."
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- "Wow, just about everything. It’s true what they say, you never really stop worrying. You mostly worry about different things as they get older. The key is to not let them know that you worry all the time."
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- "It’s interesting how some—not all—of their differences are really gender-based. I know that some people are pretty sensitive about categorizing people this way and I totally get that. But I have to say I notice distinct differences in the way that they communicate or fail to communicate or in the ways that they require my attention. Raising a son has definitely helped me understand my husband better. Or at least I think so, ha. I didn’t think I would care much about their genders, as I always just wanted to be a mom. However, I feel really blessed to be a mom to both a son and daughter. We knew early in the pregnancy."
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- "Phoenix is named after the Greek mythological bird. She was named by my husband and is most definitely like her namesake. It was a name that he chose for a son years before her inception. Phoenix is a force and I am constantly inspired by her drive, resilience, and grace. Mingus was named after the famous jazz musician Charles Mingus. I bought a painting of Charles Mingus by local artist Ian Johnson a couple of years before the twins were born. I love that piece, and I love the music of the artist who inspired the piece. Funny thing is that Mingus is a budding visual artist, but has yet to express an interest in playing an instrument! Much like his namesake, Mingus is a very thoughtful and multi-dimensional individual. He has a brilliant mind and a very tender and kind spirit."
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- "The twins are now 10 years old...whoa!!! Phoenix loves to draw fashion illustrations and play piano. She also loves to play and design with Legos. She creates all different types of scenes. I’ve seen popup boutiques, baking competitions, tiny house builds, and of course scenes involving our own home and family, which are my favorite. Mingus is a scientist. He loves learning about animals and their evolution. He is also a history buff and knows his way around the globe. He’s very silly and one of the funniest people I know. He likes to draw and loves his video games."
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- "I really try to set a good example for my twins on a daily basis. I am their first love and probably who they trust most, at least for right now. Although I want them to see the best of me, I know that it’s also important for them to see my growth, how I rebound from failure and learn from my mistakes. I know that being a business owner is probably one of the best examples I can set for them. Entrepreneurship is empowering. It allows me to create something I love on my own terms. It yields a continuum of personal and professional growth and allows for endless opportunities to collaborate and build with others. I did not grow up knowing very many business owners in my community or family. I started Art Is Luv on a wish and a Google search. I want my children to have the resources that I lacked, right in their own home."
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- "No, but I was never opposed to the idea. However, I think I felt most ready in my late twenties."
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- "We actually lost a couple of pregnancies before the twins and they were both pretty tough. I don’t think families ever get over the loss of a child or anyone they love for that matter. But new life has definitely helped us embrace the goodbyes we’ve experienced along the way. My twin pregnancy was magical, exhausting, and hard as shit in so many ways. To this day, I smile when I think about the chocolate I was fed to wake Mingus up when he fell asleep right before heart monitoring, but cringe in agony when I still wake up most nights with lifeless, numb hands and fingers from the carpal tunnel that was exacerbated by my swollen pregnant body."
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- "We were overjoyed about having twins. We were fearless! Crazy, right? Yeah, we had absolutely no idea what was headed our way."
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- "It was insanely tough for the first 2.5 years. We were sleep deprived and sick all the time, but madly in love. Things slowly got better between 3 and 5, and then we coasted, relatively speaking, from 6 to 8.5. Things got more interesting around 9, lol! Fortunately, our families are local, so both grandmothers were able to help out in their own unique ways. My husband’s mother watched the twins while we worked for about 1 year, and off and on over the next few years. My mom lived further out, and was also caring for my ailing father at the time, and was not able to help in the same way. However, by the time the twins were 5 years old, we had lost my father and my husband’s mother. To date, my mom is the only living grandparent, with the exception of her parents. Drop-offs and pickups are challenging. After school care is a constant in our day-to-day life and dinner is usually served late. That being said, this balance would be much harder without the help of my extended community. Through my children, my family has grown well beyond its roots."
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- "Our living room is our family space, and by that I mean it’s where we love to host our extended family and community. We have movie nights and homie hangouts on the couch—we are no longer allowed to say 'play dates.' The furniture and the vibe had to be approachable and durable. However, with that said, I was raised in a household where hangouts in the living room were not allowed, and fingerprints on the glass coffee table were strictly prohibited. And although that is not the case in our home, I did inherit the philosophy that you can actually raise your children to respect furniture and decorative items. My mom still has furniture from our childhood that has aged beautifully over the years—even without plastic covers!"
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"I love my bed and our 'night club' couch. My bed is a modern beauty from West Elm and has storage underneath, which is sometimes a rare find. Our couch is a sectional with a wrap-around chaise. We bought it at H.D. Buttercup on clearance. It was a steal!"
Paintings by Kelly Ording. Painted gourds by Rosesharon Oates.
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- "I grew up in Oakland and went to undergrad in Atlanta at Clark Atlanta University and Georgia Tech and graduate school at UC Berkeley. I am so grateful for such a diverse academic experience. I learned a lot and met some pretty amazing people along the way. I want this experience for my children. I want them to leave. I think leaving Oakland is especially important for brown and black children. I’m hopeful that my twins will consider attending at least one historically black university, as my husband and I both did. It’s important for them to see themselves as successful and valued individuals who can knock down barriers against all odds."
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"I work as a civil-environmental engineer and art curator/consultant. As an engineer, I work for a water municipality. As an art curator/consultant, I procure and curate local art for large non-profits, foundations, and private and commercial clients. I started Art Is Luv in 2014 after deciding that I loved the curatorial process so much that I wanted to practice my craft in multiple spaces around the Bay Area as often as possible. I love art. I love the people who create art and I love how art makes people feel. I always tell people that I became a civil engineer for the civil part of engineering and although I know that my work as an engineer is extremely important to the communities I serve, I don’t feel that it allows me to be as engaged with people as I prefer. In addition, I’m often the only woman or the only African American working in various settings as an engineer. It’s lonely. I don’t want to be that rare. Working with artists and organizations who support art programming is far less isolating and allows me to become a better community steward and problem solver as an engineer."
Charmin wears a vintage poncho from Maribel.
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- "80 percent of my art is by local artists. I love buying art from individuals whom I might share a BART car with or see during after school drop-off. Because we’ve met, the stories that they share through their art are even more special to me. I love so many artists, it hard to choose a favorite. However, I will say that my girls Adia Millett, Kelly Ording, and Nicole Dixon are on heavy rotation."
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- "We did have one room we referred to as the playroom. This will soon be Phoenix’s room. I think having a separate play space—if possible—is actually helpful. Even though we allow our children to roam free, it’s nice to have a space where most of the toys are stored, and also where visiting children can let loose a bit more freely. However, when it comes to books, every space in our home is a mini library, even the bathroom floor."
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- "It’s amazing to watch their closeness. They hug in the grocery store and have fake fights on the ride home. They enjoy separate play dates but genuinely miss each other during sleepovers. Twins are different. It’s fascinating to see them parent each other. I notice how their own personalities and their perception of my own partnership with their dad plays out in the way they relate to one another. A week ago, Phoenix made Mingus’ dinner plate—not her own—while he played video games: two tacos with sliced grilled chicken and his favorite toppings. I thought very critically about what to make of her act of kindness. I was careful to remind her to allow opportunities for her brother to become more independent, but remembered to applaud her thoughtfulness. Raising our girls to become compassionate leaders is a tricky balance, but well worth it. Altruism is one of our many super powers. It is embedded in our DNA."
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"I deal with mom guilt on a regular basis. It's usually focused around being present in the moment. I really try hard to turn off that part of my brain that is pondering dinner menus, unscheduled play dates, returning calls to family members, etc. when my children are talking to me about their day, a random animal fact, or the latest knock-knock joke."
Art by Janis Anton.
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- "I try not to sacrifice one for the other. In doing so, I find that it is harder to ask for help when I really need it. I feel like I’m constantly trying to prove that I can do it all."
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- "Mother of course! (Seriously). I love hearing actual stories of resilience from mothers of all different backgrounds and life experiences. The Mother community really feels like a safe and accessible space for women and their families."
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- "I pretty much admire any woman who is a mom or who mothers children when their actual mothers are not present or unable to carryout the responsibilities of a mother. So, that pretty much includes all the birth mamas, the neighborhood mamas, the school mamas, the doctor mamas, and all the mamas in between. But if I had to choose favorites, hands down, my mother, grandmothers, sister, and of course Clair Huxtable."
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- "My childhood was full of both beautiful memories and a few difficult ones. I was raised by two amazing parents. My father worked as a truck driver and my mom stayed home until I was about 12 years old. Then she worked full-time as a learning specialist at an elementary school. I grew up at a time when Oakland was still accessible to a broad range of families from different socio-economic classes. I walked to school and bought donuts with my bus fare. I rode my bike all summer long and set off 4th of July fireworks in a cul-de-sac with my neighbors. I played endless games of freeze tag and Uno. I also remember the years of financial hardship and uncertainty that plagued my household and the families of many of my peers. However, what I remember most was my family’s ability to rebound and make a way every time. I never went hungry and always had a roof over my head. It saddens me today that so many families, much like my own, don’t have a safe place to land and bounce back when they fall on hard times."
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Small house art by Adia Millett. Cloud painting by J. Shears.
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- "My parenting style is pretty consistent. The challenges of parenting are ever changing as my children and I evolve, but my approach to problem solving is pretty consistent. I lead with love. I am beyond grateful to have my children and when they know that my guidance, discipline, and admiration comes from a place of unwavering love, they are more likely to receive the wisdom I have to give."
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- "The current political climate has certainly shifted my conversations with my children from all about Pokemon, school yard drama, and test jitters to 'today we had an active shooter drill' or 'we learned about crossing the lines of majority and minority in our equity and inclusion circles.' I’m often sad and infuriated by what is happening in our country and abroad to women, people of color, the LGBTQ community, young boys, and so many others. However, I am grateful to live in a place where there are organizations, educators, and individuals who hold space for our children to openly discuss how these issues make them feel and how they can empower each other to help make positive changes."
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- "We talk a lot about homelessness and racism, not necessarily exclusive of each other. They both seem to plague this country, better yet the world. We talk about the importance of building community with people who love and support them, regardless of race, socio-economic, or gender differences. I also talk to them about the importance of not only having a seat at the table but also being at the head of the table. I remind them that they are carving a path for others and that our investment in their education and overall success is not just for them. I think that we are all too often focused on 'me time' and 'living my best life.' I am raising my children to be community stewards who know that living your best life happens when you can enjoy life while enriching the lives of the people around you."
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Phoenix wears an H&M romper.
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- "I know that it sounds cliché, but I would tell a woman having her first child to expect the unexpected."
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- "You will always be a mother of twins. It's sometimes tempting to see them as only siblings, but they are more than that. It’s different. Embrace, respect, and nurture the bond they share. Plus, of course, 'Boss up!' It’s going to be a crazy but amazing ride."
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- "I did take a formal maternity leave. Much of it was unpaid, but I was grateful for the allowances I had as a California resident."
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- "Probably not at this point. I did consider it a while back though. One drawback from having twins first is that it can scare you a bit from having more children. Not because of the sleep deprivation or the other multiples-related challenges, but more so due to the pregnancy and postpartum risks. I carried the twins to full term and underwent a c-section during my delivery. Four days after their birth, I experienced Peripartum Cardiomyopathy. And despite a full recovery with heart scans to match, I never quite got over the post traumatic stress symptoms. The thought of risking my health again made me feel vulnerable. I had to stay well for myself and my family."
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Art by Charles Blackwell.
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- "When decorating shared spaces for the twins, I always have to be super-mindful of their different personalities and aesthetics. I try to use a non-gender specific palette and design. I also lean towards a more timeless style that compliments the other interiors in the house. Art is also a big jumping off point. Art selection and placement is often the inspiration for every space in our home."
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- "Haaa! You mean Phoenix’s vision. She’s reading over my shoulder as I answer this question! When the twins were babies and young children, I had full creative control. Now that they are officially in the double digits, that’s no longer the case. And although Mingus could pretty much still care less, Phoenix is a whole other ball of wax. She actually enjoys the design process and is a budding artist. She has a clean and modern sensibility, which I really love and appreciate. She actually told me that she wants her room to feel like a one-bedroom flat. OMG, she’s already probably planning her escape to Paris!"
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- "On the surface, they appear excited and happy to kick the other out. However, they both agreed that it would probably be better for them to continue to sleep in the same room until the time is right to officially cut ties. Transitional separation is almost always required with twins."
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- "Funny story: When we first discussed separate rooms with the twins, we told Mingus that he would be moving to the room downstairs. He immediately said, 'No way! I don’t want to be the first one the robbers get!' My husband and I then said, 'Do you want them to get your sister?' Mingus’ response was 'No, but…' and then a long pause. Phoenix interjects that she wants the downstairs bedroom anyway. She says, 'It’s closer to the kitchen and has its own bathroom!' Ha! I almost tried to convince her to choose the other upstairs room until I realized that I was only projecting my own gender 'norms' on her, and by doing so, I was not allowing her to be the brave and empowered force she truly is."
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Quilt by LaQuita Tummings. Purple dream catcher by Phoenix Baaqee.
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- "I think my style is definitely more simple and timeless since becoming a mother. I guess I would call it Modern Creative. My changing mood is typically dictated by the shoes I am wearing."
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- "Clogs are for sure one of my most important staples. I’m 5’3” and usually prefer a bit of a heel. I gained 60 pounds when I was pregnant with the twins and my feet widened and flattened. Clogs are a perfect antidote for my post baby, hobbit-like feet. So far my favorite clog designers are Rachel Comey, Bryr, Beklina, and No. 6. Although I’m always on the lookout for new designers!"
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Charmin wears an Ace & Jig top. Art by Adia Millett.
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- "I change my hair a lot. I get bored but sometimes my styles are dictated by my exercise regiment. Holla if you hear me! I love wearing my hair natural and the flexibility it gives me. Natural hair is often a topic of conversation with my daughter. She embraces her curls but definitely has moments of isolation and self-doubt when her school peers ask why her hair looks 'frizzy.' My skincare routine usually involves myriad Kiehl’s products, which I still love. Shout out to Maria at the Berkeley 4th Street location. What a beautiful person inside and out. For makeup, I usually wear a tinted moisturizer by Laura Mercier, a fun bright-colored or sparkly liner, Beautycounter mascara, and bronzer or blush by Fenty Beauty. As for wellness, I’ve practiced Bikram yoga for over ten years. I also run and take walks."
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- "I spend a lot of time away from children at work, so I really enjoy spending time with them when I'm home. When I am not with them, I like to garden and hang out with my extended family and my close friends. We go to dinner, travel, or sometimes just hangout on each other’s couch."
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- "Professionally: I would love to continue to expand Art Is Luv beyond the Bay Area, but, as always, connecting individuals and organizations with the talented artists living in their own backyards. I am also interested in building collaborations with individuals who can help bring awareness to the importance of buying local art and support teaching artists. Personally: I would love to travel more. My children are getting older and I want to have more opportunities to explore California and the world with them."
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For more on Charmin, her family, and the artists she works with, follow her on Instagram.
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