"We really lucked out with our home. The real estate market is bananas in the Bay Area! As soon as I found out I was pregnant with Nova, our second child, we decided to start looking for our first family home. We had been living in our less-than-900-square-feet loft in West Oakland for about 10 years. We hadn’t planned on staying there that long, but we had to keep waiting it out until we were in a good place to be able to sell and purchase a new home. We had already been feeling the squeeze after having Wynter, so we knew we needed more space with a second child on the way! We put our loft up for sale last September, and moved into this home in October! It was just another open-house we went to, and we both just felt like it was right for us the moment we walked in. It was the first house we made an offer on, and we got it! Let’s just say the previous homeowners are very good, decent people! They really wanted us to have their home."

Elena wears a Muumuu jumpsuit and Ozma of California scarf. Nova and Wynter wear Bobo Choses.

"We live in the Maxwell Park area of East Oakland, in a 1930’s Mediterranean-style home. It was a flip a few years back and we plan on restoring some of its original character, along with updating and remodeling a few of the rooms. Depending on how long we plan on staying here, we may even eventually add on to it, as well. We were told Maxwell Park is the very first 'established' neighborhood here in Oakland, and no two homes look alike. And I have to say, we love our neighborhood! Our neighbors are amazing! It’s a mix of young families and older residents who have lived here for like 50 years or more! The day we moved in everyone introduced themselves, offered a helping hand, and welcomed us to the neighborhood. There were even kids who had a lemonade stand two houses down the day we moved in! It was very surreal. We were so used to people keeping to themselves and not really interacting with one another. This is a new way of living for us, actually talking to our neighbors, saying 'hi,' and inviting each other over for birthday parties. It has been really nice. Everyone really looks out for one another here. We feel extremely fortunate."

"Modern. Vintage. Comfortable. We love mid-century modern furniture. Who doesn’t right? But I have been acquiring and selling it for about 15 years now. I’ve had to sell pieces as I’ve moved through the years, and admittedly there are a few that I regret not holding onto. Mid-century furniture wasn’t as coveted and as expensive as it is today, but I still love trying to find pieces for a bargain. They’ve been harder to come by, but I love the hunt! Flea markets, thrift stores, yard sales—I’m all about them!"

"I wish I had one! People always assume I’m good at interior decorating because of my ability to put an outfit together and because I used to be a personal stylist. But I am not. I know what I like, but I have no idea how to put it all together. I tend to put everything I like in one room, and then realize there’s way too much stuff! I’ll start to slowly take some pieces away and reimagine them in other rooms of the house. If that doesn’t work, it gets stored in the garage until the next yard sale/donation drop off. I need help! Someone please come help me!"

"I’d like to say I keep all of their things in one room or one place, but I’ve been very unsuccessful at doing so. When we moved into this house I imagined Wynter and Nova just playing in their room and maybe have one basket of toys in the living room out of necessity. That obviously hasn’t been the case, nor was it realistic! Especially with all of Wynter’s therapies, we have her things everywhere. Her therapists like to (and we want them to be able to) use most of the house. Especially her physical therapist. I honestly dislike traditional children’s toys. They’re not the most beautiful things to look at. And they’re usually extremely bright, plastic, and gigantic! And wouldn’t you know, Nova’s favorite 'toy' is a HUMONGOUS, bright plastic bouncer!"

"I had some furniture pieces I adored that have some pretty good memories attached to them, but unfortunately I have since sold them. I’ve acquired some art and furniture since we’ve moved into this home that I love, and are very special to me. One is the 'boobs' painting by Audrey Bodisco. Before having my babies I had always been a modest person. Never really wanting to show too much skin, dressing pretty conservatively because of my own insecurities about my body. But after having my babies, I would whip my boob out if I needed to! There’s no time for being shy when you have a hungry baby! I still dress pretty conservatively, but that’s more out of my preference of style than anything. Becoming a mother has allowed me to embrace my body and see it in a whole new light. Women are unbelievably amazing beings! Our bodies provide life and nourishment. It’s an absolutely beautiful thing! No matter what size, shape, or color! And that’s what that painting represents to me. It’s about embracing the beauty and power of a woman’s body."

"Most recently I received a painting by my very dear friend, Deb Heyrana. It’s of Wynter with her dinosaur. She loves dinosaurs. I literally cried when I opened it. I was so overwhelmed with gratitude and it touched my heart so deeply. She even included a little bit of me in the painting by adding an Ace & Jig textile and using a specific color palette. I think it’s the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever received."

"I also just recently acquired a mid-century wall unit from another dear friend, Naomi Phan-Quang. She’s currently redecorating her home, and she had asked if I was interested in her wall unit. I about screamed with excitement when she texted me a photo of it. I had been trying to find one for years! I couldn’t believe she was offering it to me! It will be the center piece for our room upstairs once we get it together!"

"Being able to witness my tiny human beings become adults. Watching them become more independent, discovering the world, and becoming their own people. I can already see differences in their personalities. Nova is very observant, lovable, and sensitive. Wynter is a little comedian and loves making us laugh. She has the most hilarious silly faces, and a 'fake laugh' she likes to do. She’s also extremely sassy and stubborn! But it’s all good things. As frustrating as it can be, I’m so very proud of her. It’s been so interesting to watch them both form their own relationship with each other. I was raised an only child, so seeing the sibling bond/rivalry is absolutely fascinating to me!"

"Making sure my children feel equally loved, valued, and cared for. It’s been a struggle to balance the needs of both, and naturally Wynter has more needs, which inevitably requires more attention. My husband and I both have discussed the importance of making a conscious effort to always 'check-in' with Nova as he gets older. Even when we think he’s doing just fine. I can see how we would just assume he doesn’t need us as much, and we know that isn’t necessarily true."

"I think just the natural curiosity of how much gender really does or does not play a role in their interests, personalities, quirks, and who they become as adults. We want to expose both kids to as many things as possible, and then let them lead the way! Whatever their dreams and passions become, we will support and nurture them 110%! I had no preference when it came to having children, but I always knew my first child would be a girl. I don’t know why, but it was just a feeling I had. While I was going through IVF we decided not to find out the gender until a little later, but with Nova I wanted to know immediately. He was a complete surprise, and when I found out he was a boy, I was happy, but it honestly didn’t matter to me. I just felt extremely fortunate to be able to have a second child."

"Wynter’s first name was one of the 3 top names on our list. My husband Will liked one more, I liked another, and Wynter was the one we both seemed to like equally. We decided to choose a name once she was born and we saw her. The day I went into labor with her (which was a month early) our admitting nurse’s name was Winter, and she was this calming bright light for us in a very confusing and very nervous time. We took it as a sign, and she is ultimately the reason why we chose the name Wynter. And it was Will’s idea to use a 'y' instead of an 'i.' I know he likes taking credit for that. And I admit it was pretty clever. Wynter’s middle name, Kaori, is Japanese and it means strong (intended for a male, and physical strength). I wanted a word that meant strength, as in a 'strong spirit,' but that was hard to find in Japanese. So, I just decided that Kaori would mean what I wanted it to mean, and I also love how it sounds with Wynter. Nova’s first name is all my husband’s doing. I was having the hardest time coming up with names for a boy! I could barely come up with two, while Will was constantly adding to the list and running them by me. When he asked me about Nova I wasn’t sold on it at first (it actually made me think of girl), but I asked a few friends what they thought about the name, and they absolutely loved it. So, I simmered on it and it finally grew on me, and I loved it just as much! For his middle name, Kazue, I knew I wanted to stick with a Japanese name, and was hoping to find a word or name that meant 'gift' or 'surprise,' but didn’t like how they sounded with Nova. I came across Kazue, which means blessing, and thought it was perfect! And ironically enough, Kazue, spelled with an 'e'. is intended for a female. So, both my kids have middle names intended for the opposite sex, and I’m totally ok with that."

"Yes. Being raised an only child, I wanted a big family so badly! I wished so deeply to have siblings to grow up with, and to be apart of huge family gatherings. I also wanted to see myself in someone else."

"It feels like a lifetime ago, and also like it just happened yesterday! My husband and I had been trying to conceive for about 3 years, I had gotten pregnant twice, but miscarried both times. It was a really hard time for us. I remember feeling like a failure and that something was wrong with me. I also felt guilt towards my husband, because I knew how much he wanted to become a father and I knew what a wonderful father he would be. We had discussed adoption, but ultimately we decided to do IVF. We wanted to still try and have a child that was biologically ours. I was 37 and felt like this could possibly be my one and only chance to conceive. We heard stories of couples doing IVF several times before it was successful, or it not being successful at all. We could only afford to do it once, so we were kinda feeling like this was it! The whole process of IVF was hard, physically and emotionally. I was only able to produce 10 eggs, 4 eggs fertilized, but then we were left with only one embryo. This moment will forever be ingrained in my memory. I received a call from the embryologist while I was at work, and he told me that our last embryo (that held all our hopes and dreams), its cells had stopped splitting, and it looked like this was the end of the road for us. I was absolutely devastated and heartbroken. I just sat there and cried while I held the phone to my ear. Then he says, 'I’ll give it one more day, but please when I call you in the morning, don’t expect to hear good news.' When I got home that evening from work I told Will and I cried some more. I felt so defeated. As I sat there crying in his arms, he tells me, 'It’s ok. It wasn’t meant to be for us, and that’s ok. It can just be you, me, and a hundred cats!' He always knows how to make me laugh. Even after being told that basically this was it, and we were both heartbroken, we just weren’t quite ready to give up. That evening, we prayed (or chanted, I am a Buddhist) for a miracle! It felt like a losing battle, but I was holding onto a sliver of hope that our little embryo’s cells would split, and this wasn’t the end for us."

"The next morning we get the call we had been dreading, and the embryologist (his name was Sergio) asked, 'Elena? How are you?' I couldn’t believe he was making small talk. I was like, 'Yes, Sergio, ok I guess?' Then I hear, 'Well I don’t know what happened, but the cells split! We biopsied it, and sent it off to the lab for testing.' I was in complete shock. I literally cried and laughed at the same time! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing and it was like my mind and my body freaked out! When we got the results back from the biopsy, it came back as 'no results.' We were confused by this, but our doctor told us this could happen. She said it can either mean the biopsy was too small to test, or that there is some sort of chromosomal 'abnormality.' It was suggested we do another round of IVF, but that was not an option for us. So, we were left with the choice of whether to implant or not. We honestly didn’t sit with this decision for very long. We felt our little embryo had fought so hard to be here, we weren’t giving up on it, and our journey wasn’t ending. We moved forward and decided to implant. Then it was the waiting game to see if it had worked and that I was indeed pregnant. It was the longest 2 weeks of my life! I had to go in on Christmas morning to take my pregnancy test! I thought for sure it hadn’t worked because I didn’t experience any of the typical pregnancy symptoms. Later that morning we got the call with the results of the pregnancy test, and the nurse told us, 'Your test result came back positive! You’re pregnant!' Tears of joy and excitement once again, but then fear eventually set in. Fear of miscarrying, and losing another baby. It was a very sensitive time, and it was hard to maintain the excitement and joy."

Elena wears a Hansel from Basel dress, St. Agni sandals, and Anna Monet earrings. Wynter and Nova wear Misha + Puff.

"That was a really hard day. I still struggle with how I felt. As my pregnancy went along, I went ahead and got prenatal testing done, I just assumed it was what you did when you’re pregnant. Especially if you were over the age of 35. The day I was given the results was one of the toughest days of my life. I was at work and stepped into the office to take the call. The nurse on the other end said, 'I’m so sorry, your test result came back positive for trisomy 21, Down syndrome.' I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I instantly felt all my hopes and dreams of becoming a mother snatched away from me. I mourned my baby before she was even born. I cried so hard. I couldn’t stop crying. I honestly hate that I felt that way. I wish I could go back to that moment and had just been excited about my pregnancy and finally becoming a mother! I feel robbed of that joy, because of what I didn’t know, but also because of how I was given the news. It had already been decided that Down syndrome was this horrible, awful thing. But I had no clue what Down syndrome meant. I only had my own assumptions. And I had my fear. My fear of the unknown, and the type of mother I could not be. I couldn’t be a 'special needs' mom. We decided to get further and more conclusive testing done. I had a CVS, which is a very painful and invasive test. If I could go back, I would have never chosen to get this done. And it was confirmed, our baby will be born with Down syndrome. We were immediately scheduled to talk with a genetics counselor, and were told about all of things are baby would never or likely won’t be able to do. Then we were presented with the option to terminate our pregnancy. And kept being reminded, 'You still have time to terminate.' It was heart-wrenching. How could we? After seeing our baby’s tiny hands and feet? Feeling her move? Seeing and hearing her heart beat? No, we couldn’t. And we wouldn’t terminate. We wanted a child so badly, and for us that meant loving and accepting the child that had chosen us to be her parents."

"Yes! And it was the best thing I could’ve ever done! I didn’t want to hear what the doctors, geneticists, and specialists had to say. I was done hearing about percentages and statistics. They couldn’t tell me what it really meant to be a parent of a child with Down syndrome. They had no clue what the day to day looked like, or the years down the road. The families I reached out to didn’t have to tell me much, I got to see for myself! Social media is a funny thing. When used correctly it can truly make some amazing things happen, and create sincere bonds of friendship and solidarity. These moms told me all of it! The good, the bad, the funny, and the heartbreaking stuff. All the things that make up being a mom of a child with a disability (or 'different ability' as I like to say). They didn’t sugar coat any of it to make it seem like it was just like raising a typically developing child. Because the honest truth is, it isn’t. Yes, there are similarities, but there are obvious differences, too. These women shared what the typical physical delays would look like. For example, for typically developing children they usually start crawling anywhere between 6-9 months old. For a child with Ds, they typically start crawling anywhere between 14-18 months old (give or take). They shared their fears and concerns, whether it was around health, development, behavior, society, and the emotional ups/downs. I was so inspired by these families, and so grateful and humbled by their willingness to share and to be open to a complete stranger. But the most important thing I took away from them is that their day to day lives looked pretty much like any other family. And that to me was all I needed."

"There were the obvious fears, like her physical and mental development. Will she be truly independent or will she live with us forever? Will people accept her? How will people treat her? And this may sound silly, but one of my greatest concerns (or fears) was that I wouldn’t be able to see myself in Wynter. There are obvious physical characteristics associated with Down syndrome, which causes people (but not all) with Ds to look similar. The almond-shaped eyes, smaller nose, and shorter stature. I worried I would just see the syndrome, and not my child. After I gave birth to Wynter, I felt so numb. I got to see her briefly, and then she was whisked away to the ICU. I didn’t see her for a whole day. The next morning as Will wheeled me up to the ICU to see her, I was so afraid. Afraid of what I would see and how I would feel. But once that baby girl was placed on my chest and my eyes met hers, I saw nothing but my beautiful baby, and nothing else mattered."

"There are so many! But one is that you can only have 'a little bit' of Down syndrome, or that there are mild and severe levels of Down syndrome. This is not true. You either have it or you don’t. There is a spectrum when it comes to each individual child’s strengths, just as there would be for typically developing children. And there are higher risks of your child having some sort of other medical concern or additional diagnosis. About 50% of all children with Down syndrome have some sort of heart defect. Wynter is apart of that 50%, but it is not severe and she is very healthy. There are different types of Down syndrome. Wynter has the most common form, which is trisomy 21, it is when you have 3 copies of chromosome 21, where typically a person would only have 2 copies of it. It accounts for about 95% of people with Ds. There is Translocation, it’s when part of chromosome 21 breaks off during cell division and attaches to another chromosome. That extra part is what causes the presence of Down syndrome, it accounts for about 4% of people with Ds. And there is also Mosaicism. This is when Nondisjunction of chromosome 21 happens in one, but not all of the cell divisions. And typically people with Mosaicism Ds don’t display all of the typical characteristics of Down syndrome, like physical features. It accounts for about 1% of people with Ds. Another misconception that drives me bonkers is that people with Ds are 'always happy.' I don’t know where this comes from. People with Down syndrome are more than capable of displaying a wide range of emotions just like you and me. Wynter has shown it all to us, her anger, her frustration, her sadness, and her joy. Oh, her joy is the absolute best emotion to witness, next to her feeling proud. The list could go on, but the best thing for people to do is to ask questions! Do their research, and stay informed. Don’t just assume, or think what you know is correct, or that there isn’t more to learn! I think it’s so important for people, especially people who do not have children or know of people with Down syndrome, to educate themselves about what Down syndrome truly is and what it means. I’m still learning, and will continue to learn as Wynter gets older."

"What unconditional love truly means. To open up my heart and my mind. That I am capable of so much more than I thought I was. That I can make a difference."

"To do their research. Reach out to families with children who have Down syndrome! Get the real, true picture. Not just percentages and statistics. Don’t base your choice (if it’s a choice for you) out of fear. Down syndrome is not a scary, awful thing that you need to be afraid of. Don’t allow it to rob you of your joy and excitement about having your beautiful baby! I know every parent deals with their diagnosis differently. Some need to be able to grieve (like I did), because there is to an extent a 'grieving' process. And then there are the parents who embrace the diagnosis completely and don’t bat an eye. There is no right or wrong way to deal with your Ds diagnosis. Yes, there will be delays. Yes, you may face a medical concern. But what I want you to know is that your child is going to open up a whole new big beautiful world to you! It’s a love so great that I hope you will be so lucky enough to experience. I’m literally beaming with pride as I think of Wynter now. She makes me so happy and grateful that she is my daughter. I know how lucky and fortunate we are, and know there are many people who would give anything to have a child just like her."

"Oh, what a day that was! I had only one cycle after having Wynter, and noticed I hadn’t had one the following month. But I wasn’t concerned because my doctor had told me it would be a little off after giving birth, before it would be more regular. But when I didn’t get my period for a second month in a row, we decided I needed to take a pregnancy test. Wynter was 6 months old and when that test clearly showed 'positive' I was in complete shock. I literally had just stopped producing milk. I almost didn’t believe it. Will was so excited! It took me a little bit to let it sink in because of my losses and my experience with Wynter. I was hesitant to allow myself to be happy and excited about the news. I knew I would take the early prenatal blood test, but that was mainly to find out the sex of our baby. We knew that I had a higher risk of having another child with Down syndrome, but this did not matter to us. Your chances of having a child with Ds is 1/100 after having given birth to one child with Ds. Whether the test came back positive or negative, it made no difference. We would not do further testing. As long as our baby was healthy, and there were no major medical concerns, that’s all that mattered to us. And in the end, we had an uneventful pregnancy, a healthy, typically developing baby boy who came out after 2 pushes. Literally, after he came out and I was being sewed-up, the delivery nurse was taking my breakfast order."

"Dealing with my postpartum. It came on twice as strong after having Nova. Also, finding our groove with two kids. How to juggle the needs of both? We’re still figuring it out, but we are getting closer. On the positive side, it has been absolutely amazing to see them interact with each other, especially now! Because Nova is older, he’s crawling and his personality is coming out more and more. The best moments have been when I’ve walked in on them giggling and making each other laugh. They have the best laugh. Or Wynter giving Nova hugs and kisses, as he stares at her lovingly. I’ve been lucky enough to capture some pretty sweet moments between the two of them. It absolutely makes my heart melt, and I will cherish them forever."

"Difficult. I was literally pregnant for 2 years in a row! Wynter’s birth was filled with unknowns and we were told she more than likely would be born with a heart defect. During my many cardiologist appointments while I was pregnant with her, they detected a narrowing of her aorta that could possibly cause some breathing problems at birth. Also, with her diagnosis, I wouldn’t be able to do skin-to-skin when she was born. I would only be able to see her briefly and then she would need to be rushed to the ICU. So, we mentally prepared for the worst scenario when she was born. The morning I went into labor with her, it was about 4:30am, I had gotten up to use the bathroom and as I had just gotten back into bed, I felt something wet, I jumped out of bed and water just came gushing out! I was in so much shock and just stood there thinking it would eventually stop. I had only taken 2 birthing classes, and didn’t know what to do. Plus, I wasn’t due for another month! I ended up having to be induced after hours of not dilating, and no progression of being in active labor. I didn’t experience any contractions after my water broke. They needed to get her out before she was exposed to infection. I was so scared, and worried for my baby girl. I went through the gamut of pain relievers after my contractions started. I pushed what felt like forever, and thought I would be forced to have a c-section. But I didn’t, the delivery doctor and nurse were on board with me pushing as long as it was safe for me to do so. Wynter was finally born at just under 6 lbs that evening on August 5, at 9:20pm! After she was born I did experience postpartum anxiety and a little of the 'baby blues,' but it didn’t last long. And after I went back to work and established a good groove with her, I pretty much felt like myself again."

"Nova’s birth was very uneventful, and pretty routine. I had actually scheduled an induction, because I was so uncomfortable the last few weeks of my pregnancy with him. Also his due date was December 23, and I didn’t want him to be born on Christmas Day. I wanted him to be able to have his own birth date, and not have to share it with a major holiday. But I ended up going into labor naturally with him the evening before my induction, and he was born the next morning on December 22nd at 8:23am, and was exactly 8 lbs! After I had Nova, my postpartum anxiety (and depression) were 10 times worse! And I’m still dealing with it today. My anxiety skyrocketed to where I was having physical and mental reactions. If Nova was crying and I couldn’t get him to stop, I would literally want to squeeze him! I would have visions of throwing him to the ground. And if both of them were whining/crying at the same time, I would just lose it emotionally and cry hysterically. There were a few desperate phone calls to my husband while he was at work that I know scared him pretty badly. It scared me when I had these episodes! I knew I couldn’t just keep 'dealing with it' and waiting for it 'to pass.' Even though I knew what I was experiencing was normal, I didn’t like it and I needed to acquire some tools to help me deal and cope with it. I’m still a work in progress, but my anxiety is so much better. I now know a few things that help me out of that desperation mode, like taking deep, concentrated breaths, and going outside!"

Elena wears a hat by West Perro.

"When I was pregnant with Wynter, I did a lot of online research about Down syndrome. I found that organizations like DSCBA (Down syndrome Connection of the Bay Area) and NDSS (National Down Syndrome Society) had websites that were extremely informative and helpful. I recently started reading Happy Parents, Happy Kids by Daisaku Ikeda. It gives advice on how you can incorporate and use your Buddhist practice to help with parenting, daily life, and raising a happy child. It’s profound, but also very practical. And Far from the Tree is on my list to read (and on my documentary list to watch). I am very intrigued to see how these families from different walks of life are able to have many things in common, as well as myself. I adored the movie Wonder. It was so thoughtfully done and showed the many sides and perspectives within a family surrounding a child that is 'different,' and in this case one who looked different."

"There are plenty of women I look up to and admire greatly. One being my mother. She has overcome great adversity in her life. She is the true definition of strength. Also a few very close girlfriends who embrace motherhood whole-heartedly and handle their difficult times with so much grace. I also LOVE Serena Williams. She has spoken publicly and candidly about her motherhood journey. And I so respect and admire her greatly for it. She has a huge platform, and she’s using it to help empower moms and to let them know they’re not alone in their struggles."

"I was raised by a single mother who worked two jobs, and went to school at night (she was working towards getting her nursing degree). She wasn’t around a lot and I was the definition of a 'latch-key kid.' I never really got into any trouble, I was too afraid to get into anything 'risky' or dangerous. I was raised to be independent, self-sufficient, and taught the importance of a good work ethic. When I was going through a hard time, or feeling sorry for myself, my mom would always 'remind me' that there are other people in the world who were going through worse times and facing even greater challenges than my own. I would hate when she did this, because all I wanted was for her to feel bad for me! And to just care about what I was going through. I know she was just trying to give me some perspective and to be grateful for what I had. But when you’re a kid, it’s hard to see it that way."

Elena wears a Han Starnes top, Ace & Jig skirt, and necklace by Zelma Rose.

"I hope I’m on the path to raising them to be confident and independent. But I also want them to be aware of others, and to be empathetic, kind, and grateful for what they do have. That is something my mom instilled in me, and that I value greatly. I want to do the same for my children. I also want them to always feel loved and supported. My mom was not very affectionate towards me growing up. I know in part this had to do with how she was raised, but also I feel she thought I was 'ok.' She always believed that if she heard nothing, everything was fine. I don’t feel negatively toward my mom about how she was. As I got older, it just became the way of life and I understood why she was that way. I love my mom to death, and am grateful for all the sacrifices she has made in order for me to live a better life than she did. It was always us against the world. We were very close. And still are. But I did yearn for that affection from her. And knowing this, I tend to overcompensate with my kids. I give them multiple kisses a day, and maybe even hug them a bit too much, and there is lots of snuggling going on! Their snuggles are the best."

"Open. I’m honestly just wingin' it! I have no clue what I’m doing. I just let the kids guide me, try to listen to my 'motherly instinct,' and to use my best judgement. It’s funny, I thought for sure I would be the strict parent, but turns out I’m the softy. It’s those mama heart strings! They get tugged constantly! For the most part Will and I are on the same page with the kids, there are times I think he does the whole 'tough love' thing at inappropriate times. But my kids are still so young. At this point I just want them to feel secure, confident, and loved. I know the way I approach my parenting style will change as they get older."

"Absolutely! Actually it’s heightened my awareness and ignited me to take action. If it’s going to impact me and my family, I need to do something about it! It’s easy to feel like you can’t make a difference, or that you as one person can’t create change. But it’s so not true. In my Buddhist practice we’re taught that dialogue is key. It’s like being a pebble dropped into the water, and causing a ripple effect. You are the beginning of what will create inspiring and powerful change."

"The sense of community. There’s a love and support of local artists, creatives, and small businesses. There are some pretty remarkable people living here that are doing the hard work to create positive change. There is also a social consciousness in Oakland. A soul. A heart beat. And so much history! It’s such a beautiful thing to witness and be apart of."

"Yes, I’m open to it. I’ve never lived anywhere else, so I admit I’m curious. But Oakland will always be home for me."

"There are so many! Definitely where I work, Hawthorn. Laurie is very mindful of the designers she chooses to carry, and we really do carry some great designers, and the best candles by Na Nin! A few other favorites for shopping are Ali Golden, Erica Tanov, and McMullen when I need something a little extra special! For vintage, Pretty Penny, Minds Eye Vintage, Empress Vintage, Mercy Vintage, and definitely the Alameda Flea Market! I’ve met some wonderful vendors like Asa Vintage and Revival Vintage. Temescal Alley here in Oakland is a one-stop shop for me. I can get something for myself, home, and just up the street from the alley is Ruby’s Garden, where I can shop for the kids, and Standard & Strange for my husband. Also shopping at events and pop-ups like West Coast Craft and Bouquet Market are great ways to shop locally and also to discover new designers and makers! Other favorites are Atomic Garden, Morningtide, Crimson, and Neighbor. A few favorite restaurants and cafes are Doña Tomás, Burma Superstar, Sequoia Diner, Julie’s Coffee & Tea, Highwire Coffee at Market Hall, Tacubaya, Iyasare, and I just discovered Millennium! I’m not vegan, but their dishes and drinks are delicious! The drinks could be a bit bigger, but they are very tasty! It just means I have to order a few more! I’m still discovering places to go to be with the kids, and to get outside for a bit. They’re still so young and neither of them are walking yet, so we don’t have as many options when it comes to places that are best for limited mobility. We mostly go to local parks to get some hang time outside. But Berkeley Rose Garden and Morcom Rose Garden are sweet little spots to enjoy a little nature. Also Lake Merritt is great for those who like to get in a good walk or run. Children’s Fairyland, Habitot Museum, Chabot Spade & Science Center, the Oakland Museum, and the Oakland Zoo are all great for kids, but my kids won’t fully appreciate and enjoy these places until they’re a little bit older and walking. There are so many great places to see and enjoy in and around Oakland, it’s hard to name them all!"

"Comfortable. Conservative. Trendy. And maybe even 'vintage-inspired?' I wear vintage, but I also buy pieces that have very vintage-inspired silhouettes."

Elena wears an Ali Golden dress and Gamma Folk necklace. Nova wears a "Be Kind" t-shirt. Wynter wears Misha + Puff.

"Yes and no. I’ve always dressed pretty conservatively. But before I became a mom, I’d say my style was even more feminine. Lots of midi skirts and puff sleeves! I still love both of those things, but maybe just in a more toned-down version."

"Right now, I’d have to say my Ilana Kohn jumpsuits and my Jesse Kamm pants! The jumpsuits are just easy, comfortable, and convenient! It’s one outfit in one, you don’t have to think about putting a top and a bottom together. There’s usually nice deep pockets to hold all your things, especially when you’re wranglin' your kiddos, and need to stash something quickly! And the looser, the better! The Kamm pants just look good! When I want something more form fitting, they are my go-to! I feel confident in them, and the silhouette works perfectly for my body type. I’ve also re-fallen in love with Ace & Jig. I had kinda taken a break from obsessing over them, but their fall/winter ‘16 collection reeled me back in and now I can’t get enough! Prudence top in Ashbury and Capella coat in Sampler, I’m on the hunt for you!"

"Simple. I learned my lesson a long time ago that trying lots of different products just doesn’t work for my skin. I use to be the type that had to try them all! Whatever the latest product was that I read about in a magazine or because a friend who had the most perfect skin suggested it to me, I would buy it all! I found what my skin likes and have stuck with the same products for years now. I use the the Solari skincare system created by my esthetician at Studio Abasi in Berkeley. For makeup I use Bare Minerals. It just works for my skin, and I don’t feel like I’m wearing makeup. Though I do wish it wasn’t so messy to apply! I get it everywhere! It drives me nuts!"

"I need to be better about this one. Right now for wellness it’s mainly taking the time chant. My Buddhist practice is my foundation, and it helps me to refocus and center myself again. Also, choosing to take a nap. When both babies are napping I would always use that time to get 'stuff done,' but now I will take advantage of that time to get a little shut-eye if I need to. Even if it’s just for 15 minutes. Not to mention it’s a great opportunity for snuggling!"

"Its usually on the days that I don’t have the kids all day. When my husband’s home and I just want a few hours to myself, I take it. Also the grandmas come once a week, and we have a pretty reliable sitter/nanny that we can count on for some weekends. I normally use it to take a leisurely walk to visit some of my favorite shops, meet up with girlfriends, have coffee or a meal without having to take it to go! I love going to the flea market and thrifting! And actually on the days I go to work, I consider that 'me time.' I get to chat and connect with women, and be in a calming and beautiful space. Once my babies are a bit older I want to take a solo (or with a girlfriend) trip somewhere just for myself."

"I work part-time at Hawthorn, a local brick and mortar boutique here in Oakland. I just recently left my partnership/business selling vintage clothing. I needed to concentrate on being a new mama to my son and adjusting to being a mama to two babies under the age of 2! I also wanted to be re-inspired and open to other opportunities that aligned more with what my current passions and cause are."

"I was born and raised right here in the Bay Area. I haven’t lived anywhere else! I love that I get to call this place home. I’m open to living somewhere else if that’s where our path takes us, but I know how fortunate I am to be able to still live here. I didn’t go to a traditional college, I honestly didn't feel like I had that privilege to 'go away to college.' My mind frame was that I needed to start working as quickly as I could. I needed to start making money so that I could help my mom out by supporting myself as much as possible. I decided after high school to go to a vocational college, because it was less time, and I would be trained in a skill that would help me get a job quicker. I ended up getting a bachelor’s degree in Design & Visualization at Silicon Valley College, which was basically their graphic design program. I wanted to try and pursue a career in a creative field. Growing up I loved to draw, it was a definite outlet and passion for me. I wonder 'til this day where that love and passion went. Funny enough, I actually didn’t end up using my degree or working in the graphic design field. I was an administrative assistant for a small business in Berkeley for about 12 years after college! Then I became a personal stylist at Anthropologie for about 6 years."

"It’s one of the main reasons why I’m so passionate about supporting local small business, buying ethically made clothing and products, as well as used and vintage clothing. At Hawthorn we carry ethical designers, mainly made here the U.S., and all women! I’ve learned about so many amazing designers because of the owner, Laurie. She’s also a mama, so it’s important to her as well to minimize her carbon footprint. Learning of the negative impact that massively produced products and the garment waste that fast fashion has on our planet is devastating. I’ll be the first to admit, I love a bargain, and use to shop fast fashion constantly! But I wouldn’t wear those pieces for very long because of low quality, or it was too trendy. So, they would end up in the garbage or donated (when possible). I still on a rare occasion will buy something from Zara, but I am very particular of what I will buy. It has to be a piece I’ll wear for a long time, and that I would be able to eventually hand down to someone else. I sell a lot of my clothing to keep it in rotation and for others to enjoy after I have. I know it may sound corny, but it’s important to me that I do what I can to help the environment so that I set an example for my children, and they learn from my choices. I want them, and many generations after them, to be able to experience and enjoy this wonderful, marvelous planet and all that it has to offer. Buying ethically made products isn’t cheap, but if you can, you should. We all need to start somewhere, right?"

"Yes, I’m definitely starting to build my little village of support. When Wynter was born, I don’t think that was the case as much. It was mainly my husband and my mother and mother-in-law. I definitely felt a little like I was on a deserted island by myself. But I also never asked for, or took help when it was offered. After Nova was born, I learned to put myself out there more, and to reach out a little more. I still have times where it’s hard for me to ask for help, but I feel the friendships I’ve formed especially in the last year have shown me how much people really want to be there for one another. I definitely have a good little mama tribe going. I also use a sitter/nanny once in awhile when she’s available. I’m also getting tremendous support from my special needs parent group I see twice a week. That has been a definite lifesaver!"

"I’m still learning how to balance it all myself. What I have learned is you can’t do it all alone. You need the help and support of others. Why try and 'maintain' on your own? Ask and get the help you need in order to be the best version of yourself so that you can be the best mother, partner, friend, etc."

"Yes! I know, I wish I could have the attitude of 'F**k mom guilt!' But I also think there’s a hormonal/biological component when it comes to moms and their children that causes that 'mom guilt.' Especially early on in motherhood. I’ve slowly been able to let go of it more. Especially because I know just how much better of a mom I’m able to be when I get to do my own thing and get that break from my kids. When I take time for myself that allows me to explore and enjoy the other parts of me that make up who I am as a person. Not to mention when I come home from being away from my babies all day, I appreciate them so much more! I’m excited to see them, hold them, play with them! It is the BEST feeling and I know they feel the difference, too."

"I did. When I was pregnant with Wynter, I took a leave from work, but eventually just quit my job and became a full-time mama. When she was about 3 months old I started working part-time at Hawthorn. With Nova I took a temporary leave of about 3-4 months and then went back to working part-time. And both times Will also took a formal paternity leave. It was extremely helpful and I know he really valued that time to bond with both babies."

"Finding an outlet for my passions. Right now my focus is on advocating for the disability community. To spread awareness around inclusion, diversity, tolerance, and acceptance. I don’t want it to be a rare sighting to see a person with Ds, or any disability really, in advertisements, on TV, or in your social media feed! I want it to just be the norm! Because it is! It’s normal for people of different abilities to use the same products you use, wear the same clothes you wear, and to eat the same foods you eat! Being one of the largest minority groups in the U.S., the disability community should be represented and seen! I want my daughter to be able to see herself in advertisements, commercials, movies, and TV shows, because that’s where inclusion and changing perception starts. It’s how she will know she is valued and accepted just like anyone else."

For more on Elena, her children, and her work, follow her on Instagram.