Sometimes “the baby carriage” gets put before “marriage,” and you end up with a conundrum on your hands: How do you incorporate your kids into your wedding ceremony in a special, creative way? We went to author and event planner extraordinaire Alison Rinderknecht of Alison Events to supply some fresh ideas for mothers with upcoming nuptials. “We often have clients come to us having already had children and wanting a ceremony that includes their kids,” she tells us. “It’s often easier to incorporate children if they are walking. Of course, you can do the obvious and make them a junior bridesmaid/groomsmen or flower girl/ring bearer, but there are also other things you can do to make the children feel special.” Below, some thoughts to copy.

Have them carry something. “Depending on your chid’s age, they can be the carriers of the actual rings on a pillow/box or a cute custom sign. Children feel special for having an assigned job and they take it very seriously. I love to use non-traditional items to carry rings, such as a moss-covered ring bearer pillow or a fabric-covered box adorned with a rose (in the wedding colors). I’ve also had children carry baskets filled with not just rose petals, but also herbs or eucalyptus leaves or whatever works with the color palette.”

Have the child participate in the ceremony. “Besides handing over the rings, have them read a line in a poem or reading. Be sure to have a back-up, however, in case they get nervous and don’t want to read it!”

Have the child give the mother or father a gift that is made by the child as part of the ceremony. “This works well if there are two children and one child can make something for the mother and one can make something for the father. It can be a picture or jewelry or something crafted.”

Have the children sing a song. “Perhaps there is a song that can be rehearsed ahead of time that the children can sing as part of the ceremony. I once had the sister of the bride sing a song at the wedding, along with mother and grandmother. It was really sweet.”

Think outside the “white” box. “Think about dressing your kids up in fun dresses, instead of traditional white versions. Bow ties instead of traditional ties are also a new trend that looks adorable on little guys.”

Don’t just marry your spouse. “Putting a ring on the finger of your love is a-given. But for those families with children from outside relationships, why not consider having the bride or groom exchange a special ring with the children that they are now bringing into their family unit? It’s a great way to show the union isn’t just about two people.”

For more ace wedding ideas, check out Alison’s two books: All the Essentials Wedding Planner: The Ultimate Tool for Organizing Your Big Day and Destination Wedding Planner: The Ultimate Guide to Planning a Wedding from Afar.