Mother Stories
Amy Tan On Her Rainbow Baby Joy, Colorful New Home, & More
Written by Katie Hintz-Zambrano
Photography by Photographed by Morgan Pansing
Apr 22, 2021
While the arrival of a new baby might look like pure joy and sweet snuggles on the outside, the story behind the journey to that bundle of love is often more complicated. Such is the case of little Juniper, the 5-month-old daughter of entrepreneur and artist Amy Tan (a.k.a. Amy Tangerine).
In today’s profile, the prolific creative and social media star opens up about her harrowing journey to her second born, after suffering 4 heartbreaking miscarriages. She also discusses raising kids with a sizable age gap (big brother Jack is 7), giving birth during a pandemic, finding community online, and much more!
We were also lucky to get a first look into Amy’s vibrant new home, which perfectly matches the colorful Comotomo goods featured in this shoot, which include Comotomo’s beloved pink and green bottles, and the brand’s new Silicone Teethers that come in a modern pale blue and a bright tangerine hue! (A favorite of Amy’s, naturally!).
Settle in and enjoy!
This post is brought to you by Mother + Comotomo.
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Amy and her beautiful baby girl, Juniper, 5 months, in their colorful new home.
Juniper plays with Comotomo's Silicone Baby Teether in one of Amy's favorite hues: tangerine!
Comotomo Silicone Baby Teether, $6.80, Amazon.
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Big brother Jack, 7, makes his presence known!
(Pssst...the couch is Design Within Reach!)
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"Juniper is our second child, and like all children, a complete miracle. She is actually a quadruple rainbow baby, if that’s possible. Please know that I have done a lot of healing throughout the years and can now tell my story without tears in my eyes, but it’s taken some heartache, tons of support (therapy), and a lot of love from family and friends."
"My husband, JC, and I did things a bit backwards. We met on April Fools Day 2009, dated for 5 months before moving in together, and then 4 years later we were surprised when we found out I was pregnant. We bought a house and moved in just months before Jack was born. JC and I got engaged when Jack was 1 1/2, with the intention of not rushing a wedding. I didn’t get a hit in my heart of wanting another child until Jack was almost 2 1/2."
"Then a short time later, we found out that I was pregnant. Sadly, at 8 weeks there was no heartbeat, so I had to have a D&C. It was devastating, but my doctor was very reassuring. This was in 2016."
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"My doctor ended up retiring, so I found another OB-GYN at the end of the year. Just when I was about to run out of patience, we found out in early 2017 that I was pregnant. Relief came over as we heard the heartbeat on the ultrasound at 7 weeks. I was 10 weeks pregnant and already showing while on a press trip in Hawaii. Jack was 3 1/2 and we had gone on a boat ride to see dolphins. He had just enjoyed some strawberries when the water started getting rough. Shortly after, my white dress turned pink as he got seasick. That same night I started spotting. I was hopeful it was nothing, but sadly it got worse as the trip ended on Sunday. On Monday morning, JC and I were at the doctor’s office to see the sad news of a baby on the ultrasound but without a heartbeat, 1 day shy of 11 weeks."
"I decided that I wanted some answers, so we tried IVF. Our first round yielded just one genetically normal embryo that sadly did not successfully implant. I switched to another doctor who came highly recommended and we once again only had one genetically normal embryo and this time after the two week wait, we found out I was pregnant! We were overjoyed and on a family vacation in 2018 and told our family even though it was early on. Sadly at 7 weeks, the heartbeat was barely detectable, resulting in my third miscarriage. It was devastating to say the least. All of this was unexplainable and disheartening. IVF was costly and though I loved and believed in my doctor, we decided to give it a break. I remember very clearly the vision of being in her office and her telling me that she believed I could get pregnant on my own and she hoped that would happen."
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"While in Uruguay at the end of 2018, I was surrendering to the idea of Jack being an only child. Sure enough, a month later, I was pregnant again. But in early 2019 I had my fourth miscarriage. Though I freely told parts of my story in person to friends, family, and even during a keynote at a conference of 1,000 people, I didn’t share on social media. I often recorded my thoughts and then it all felt too heavy and long to share. I told my story on podcasts and also on my own podcast (Craft a Life You Love) as well."
"When I no longer thought I was capable of surrendering even more, I did. It didn’t seem fair and I didn’t want to project all my feelings of myself being an only child onto my son. Our life was full and wonderful, and I set aside the feeling that something was missing even though deep in my heart I held a vision for another child."
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"In 2020, I decided my one little word would be 'bright.' I wanted to continually choose to focus on the bright side of life. In February of last year, I didn’t travel at all as I was gearing up for a whirlwind of trips that were planned for March and April. Then as we all know, the global pandemic was declared and our lives shifted. I realized that I was late at the end of March and then on the 11th anniversary of my first date with JC, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive."
"Words can not express the feelings of joy and sheer terror that took over. Although I felt deep in my soul this was the one we were waiting for all along, I was cautiously optimistic and scared. I didn’t have a regular OB-GYN, so I texted my former IVF doctor and she immediately called me back."
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"I did the blood tests early and as each one came back as they should and we surprisingly heard a strong heartbeat at just 6 weeks, I was relieved yet still feeling trepidation. The doctor gave me a stuffed animal with the baby’s heartbeat recorded on it when you squeezed it. It brought comfort and was actually how Jack found out that he was going to be a big brother."
"My friend recommended her OB and I went to her early on in the pregnancy. I attended every appointment alone, with a mask on. Being pregnant during a pandemic with the social distancing and racial injustices all around was hardly ideal. However, we welcomed Juniper Carlotta to the world via c-section 3 1/2 weeks early."
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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Amy and her little miracle girl.
Comotomo Silicone Baby Teethers, $6.80 each, Amazon.
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"I think deep down I always did. After Jack was born, it was all so new and overwhelming, that I really couldn’t imagine having another until he was almost 2 1/2. Being an only child, I am lucky to have married someone with 3 siblings. JC actually has the same age gap with his younger brother and sister, who are twins. I am also very close to my cousins, even with a large age gap. It is hard at times being an only child and not having siblings to reminisce with, especially through the last couple of years with the progression of my dad’s Alzheimer’s."
Comotomo Silicone Baby Teethers, $6.80 each, Amazon.
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"Honestly, it has been so wonderful. We have truly only had highs thus far as Jack is the best big brother and has fully stepped into the role. Juniper adores him so much and it’s just an amazing thing to witness. We feel extremely blessed. It wouldn’t have been what I thought would be ideal, but it turns out 7 is a lucky number for us."
Comotomo Silicone Baby Teethers, $6.80 each, Amazon.
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"Oh, it’s been a dream, especially compared to Jack. Since it was my first time nursing with him, I wouldn’t actually blame him, I was the one overthinking and worrying about everything. Is he having enough? Should I be pumping more instead of always feeding him? Etc, etc."
"It was super instinctive and natural for Juniper. After my c-section, they put her on my chest and she actually started trying to get to the milk. The nurse made a comment about how amazing that was. My milk seemed to come in faster too. One thing that is different with Juniper, though, is that she spits up way more than Jack ever did. Other than that though, it’s been very much smooth sailing with her and feeding."
Comotomo Silicone Baby Teether, $6.80, Amazon.
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"I love the way they feel. The texture of the bottle is soft to the touch. The design is fantastic and it’s also so easy to clean. I appreciate that I don’t have to use a bottle brush on it."
"Juniper took to them right away and seemed to also enjoy trying to hold the bottle when she was 4 months old. The cap sits securely on the bottle and we have had no leaking issues. The pink is a perfect shade too."
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
Comotomo Silicone Baby Teethers, $6.80 each, Amazon.
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"Juniper loves the teether so much. It was one of the first ones she was able to really hold and use for an extended period of time. The design is so simple and we love the blue and tangerine color."
Comotomo Silicone Baby Teether, $6.80, Amazon.
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"She just found her feet! She’s rolling over and loves grabbing toys and putting them right into her mouth. She laughs most when Jack is around doing something silly. Her drooling can soak 3-4 bibs a day, so perhaps some teeth are on their way?"
Comotomo Silicone Baby Teethers, $6.80 each, Amazon.
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- Pretty, colorful touches everywhere.
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- "Jack is 7 and has been doing distance learning 1st grade. He’s in a Spanish immersion program, which has really been great for him. He loves Pokemon cards (hasn’t seen the show), LEGO, writing books, drawing, swimming, and playing with bugs outside. He is currently watching Waffles and Mochi and Inspector Gadget."
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"It has felt pretty amazing. I probably overuse that word a bit, but our family unit feels complete and Juniper has brought so much light and joy during this very interesting time. I am not as overwhelmed when it comes to the work-life juggle, but as a recovering workaholic, I am still doing my best to proactively combat the guilt. I am soaking up and savoring the little moments much more, knowing that she is our last baby. There’s something worth embracing when what you’ve been dreaming about for so long comes to fruition."
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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"I’m giving myself tons of space and grace to navigate this particularly turbulent time. While I know that there’s always been distressing chaos throughout the world, I take comfort in knowing that it’s up to me to do my best to raise kind humans. Through the darkness, Juniper has been such a bright spot, not just to our family, but also to the many people around the world who were so happy when I shared the news of my pregnancy. Though I think there’s a collective trauma we all went through (and may still be going through), we can walk alongside one another—one day within six feet!—knowing we showed up and made it."
"The saddest part of welcoming a new baby during all of this has been not being able to share her with my friends. Since I don’t have siblings, my closest friends have been a lifeline and for them to not really be able to hold her and cuddle her and smell her (babies really do smell divine!) breaks my heart a little bit. I also miss seeing other people light up at the sight of a baby. It’s been hard not to share the joy. I often think about my friend who has 3 kids saying that raising kids means experiencing the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. I fully embrace the contrast, knowing that brighter days are ahead and the collective good will prevail. Focusing on my family, I can be present to our life as it unfolds."
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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A closer look at Comotomo's signature bottles, which are designed to closely mimic breastfeeding and reduce bottle rejection due to nipple confusion. The bottle's nipple and body is made of 100% safe hygienic silicone and the dual anti-colic vents prevent unwanted air-intake and reduce colic.
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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As Juniper gains more independence, the soft, round shape of the Comotomo bottle is perfect for little hands to grip.
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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And there she goes!
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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"It’s been so hard and my heart goes out to any first time moms out there at this time. I depended so much on my mommy and me group and friends coming over with food and willingness to hold/change/feed the baby. But now it’s all so different. Friends were able to come over into our backyard and even hold Juniper, but I miss going out to the park and having those classes and sharing stories of babies the same age."
"Before we moved into our new home (mid January 2021 when it was almost done with renovations) I met our wonderful neighbors, who have really been integral in the transition. The mom next door has two kids and used to be a doula. The mom across the street has three kids, including a boy the same age as Jack. So while they aren’t new moms, I am blessed to have them so close, and even though we have only hung out together outdoors and with masks on, I am confident that I have made new friends for life."
Comotomo Silicone Baby Teether, $6.80, Amazon.
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"So many women throughout my life have been an anchor and inspiration to me in so many ways. My mom is a huge help since she lives just a mile away in the guesthouse of our old house, which we are renting out. It’s such a blessing (even though we have our differences and moments) that Jack and Juniper grow up with a grandparent nearby."
"This was actually the first winter since 2013 that we haven't had my in-laws in our other guesthouse. My mother-in-law is one of the strongest women I know—raising 4 kids and having worked two jobs before she suffered a stroke in 2011. She was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 years ago and continues to fight hard and have a positive outlook on life."
"I am also thankful to be close to several girlfriends from college, who my kids all call 'aunty.' I have dear friends who don't have kids of their own, but know how to truly live—they inspire me to live my brightest life. And my sister-in-laws (one is expecting her third in May and the other is expecting her first in September!) have always been the best aunts."
"The creative community—particularly the planning and scrapbooking communities—has helped me so much in ways they probably don’t even realize. A simple uplifting comment on social media where they share their experience or advice may seem small and insignificant, but can have a big, lasting impact. When I was pregnant with Jack, I traveled quite a bit and got to have women from Australia, Spain, Portugal, Thailand, and throughout the U.S. give a little love when they patted my belly."
Comotomo Silicone Baby Teether, $6.80, Amazon.
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An unforgettable sibling bond in the making.
Comotomo Silicone Baby Teether, $6.80, Amazon.
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The full Comotomo line-up includes two sizes of bottles (5 oz. and 8 oz.) in two colors, four types of nipples (for ages 0-12+ months), and two silicone teethers in modern colors.
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
Comotomo Silicone Baby Teethers, $6.80 each, Amazon.
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"Seeing the world through my kids’ eyes is probably one of the most exciting parts about motherhood."
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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The ultra wide-neck design of the bottles allows easy cleaning by hand without a brush.
The bottles (and teethers) are also safe to use in the microwave and sterilizers, and in the dishwasher and boiling water.
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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"It’s disheartening to know hatred and racism still play such a big role in the news. With my children being mixed-race, I hope they don’t have to endure many of the same hurdles and heartaches that I did."
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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"Jack's room is a work in progress, as we are expecting a new bed and will be passing along his car bed to an enthusiast who collects cars and wants it for his grandsons. His daughter reached out to me on Instagram (this is when I find social media is amazing) and asked about the bed. And we are going to be getting a hand-me-down bed from a friend in Malibu who also has a son named Jack!"
"The wallaby art is by Gray Malin from his Party at the Parker series, a hotel we have taken Jack to several times. The art cart is something we love and gets used daily. He does remote learning from his little table that will soon need to be passed down to Juniper! He also has a bookshelf that is organized in rainbow order and we have yet to build the Lego minifigures wall from his room in the old house."
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- Jack's super versatile art cart, which can be scooted around the home.
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- "Our first day as owners of the new house was January 1, 2020. We knew we were going to renovate, but we had visions of it being a moderate-sized reno that would take a few months and get us in by the summer of 2020. Boy were we wrong!"
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"I would describe it as a 1965 midcentury modern that is intentional, thoughtful, and approachable. We really were going for a sanctuary, a place that felt warm and welcoming and maybe a bit whimsical too. We worked with an amazing architect and general contractor, but decided to do the interior design on our own."
"Jack was so tired of going to open houses in 2019, he somehow decided it should be called Open House. It was our hope to make it as inviting and bright for friends and family as possible. What we thought would be a guest bedroom turned into a nursery and what we thought might be a little office for me turned into JC’s office. Unafraid of color, it took a while to finally decide on our door color, but I think we ultimately made the right decision with pink!"
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- "At first, I really wanted to keep it pretty simple and have only pieces that we loved and found to be essential. I knew I wanted a mural or a statement wall, and though I may have gone a bit overboard with the colors, we are so in love with how it turned out. I ended up designing it on my iPad, made to look like watercolor and turned it into a premium wallpaper by a company in Sweden. They turned it around in just a few days and though I am all about DIY, I knew I wouldn’t have the patience for it, so I hired a local professional. Her crib is by Nestig, and we love it so much against the bright wallpaper.
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- That mama-son love.
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"My upbringing was great. My dad and mom were both born and raised in India (we are all Chinese) and immigrated to the U.S. in 1970. I was born in the northern suburbs of Chicago and was lucky enough to have my grandparents nearby to help raise me. They didn’t speak English but they loved their first grandchild with so much heart. And food."
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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"I hope they always have a playful and curious spirit. I want to instill the idea that they can achieve anything they put their mind and heart to. My hope is that they feel carefree (while being safe too—ha, that’s such a mom thing to add) for as long as possible."
"My mom’s side of the family carries a lot of worry, which I guess now I can say is likely years of undiagnosed anxiety, so that is something that would be nice to end with me. It would be wonderful if they can be optimistic, be kind to others and themselves, and embrace their uniqueness with confidence."
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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"Relentless gratitude for the health and happiness of my family keeps coming up for me. Also, taking it slow is not a bad thing. I used to rush from one thing to the next, often with little time to savor all the fruits of my labor. Next trip, next project, always looking into the future and sometimes losing sight of the gift of the present. My intention for 2021 is to be and be fully captivated by the present moment."
"I did a lot of soul searching and deep introspection in 2019 and really wanted the 20’s to be my best decade ever. Although there’s so much darkness that happened in 2020, I am reminded of the light. While hardly ideal to be pregnant and give birth during a pandemic, I appreciate the little lessons it brought. Even though I have always had a great appreciation for the little things, it has truly expanded onto a whole new level."
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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"We have been trying to figure out how to see the four grandparents who haven’t met Juniper yet. My dad and his wife live in Atlanta and it’s been really difficult with his dementia and Alzheimer’s. JC’s parents live in Pittsburgh, so it will be nice to head to the east coast to try and see everyone, maybe even on the same trip. Seeing each of them light up when they get to finally cuddle her will be phenomenal."
Comotomo 8 oz. Baby Bottles (2-Count), $21.99, Amazon.
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For more on Amy and her beautiful family, be sure to follow her at @amytangerine on Instagram.
To shop the Comotomo products in this feature, head over to Amazon.
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What a truly heartfelt story. So glad that you now have the family you wanted. I’ve enjoyed watching Jack grow up over the years through your videos and vlogs. Juni is absolutely adorable and the relationship she shares with her brother is wonderful. My brother is 8 years younger than me, but we share a special bond that we don’t share with our other two siblings. We’ve always had each others backs and I love him to pieces.
I am so sorry that there are so many ignorant people in today’s society. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I no longer watch the news…haven’t for some time now and was clueless of all the violence against various races. It’s so needless and senseless. I don’t know if things have calmed down, but I’m so glad we don’t see this in my area.
Anyway, I wish you and your family all the best! ?
Precious. Can’t think of a better word to describe this.