
At Home With Perla Farias & Her Multi-Generational Family Of 9
Written by Katie Hintz-Zambrano
Photography by Photographed by Perla Farias
It’s always a beautiful thing when one cool mama leads to another. Which was precisely the case when one of our recent subjects—Miami-based mom Celia D. Luna—listed today’s subject, Perla Farias, as one of her so-called “mom icons.” After checking out Perla’s inspiring Insta-feed (@xicana_mama) and her Chicana Mama blog, we knew we had to have this inspiring, activist-minded mother of four on the site, too. Much to our luck, Perla agreed to share her story with us, which includes living in a multi-generational household that was recently struck by COVID-19 (thankfully, all eight of the afflicted family members have recovered). Below, this busy mama takes us through her “Day in the Life”—from story time to FaceTime, laundry to pizza-making—all while discussing her current “new normal” and hopes for a better future ahead.
For more “Day in the Life” profiles, check out our COVID-era features on Kelly and Spencer Dezart-Smith, Dr. Kat de Jong, Laura Tully, Andrea Hawken, Juvilynn Arbuthnot, and Lydia Maria Lauer.
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DJ—“Dad,” “Daddy”—32, Social Worker
Perla—“Mom,” “Mama”—31, Homemaker & Photographer
Yaretzi, 6, Soon-to-be First Grader
Kabil, 3, Puzzle Master
Soona, 18 months, The Caretaker
Citlali, 18 months, Expert Climber
Lamar—“Moh-ma”—55, Nurse
David—“Bampa”—56, Religious Education Director
Grandma Dolores—“GG”—Retired Great Grandma
- "I wake up around 5:45 a.m.. The twins wake at 6:45 a.m. My son Kabil and husband DJ wake at 7:00 to 7:15 a.m. And my oldest daughter, Yaretzi, wakes between 7:30 a.m. and 8 a.m." Watered: A Daily Journal of Intention by Ka'ala M.B.
- "Both. I love drinking tea in the morning while I journal and go over my to-do list. It helps replenish whatever I detoxed overnight and helps gently wake up my stomach. I love raspberry leaf tea, oat straw with nettle, or green tea in the mornings. Once I grab a bite to eat, like a bagel or toast, I drink a cup of coffee and take it outside while I water my plants and get some fresh air. The whole routine helps me slowly get energized for a busy day with the kiddos."
- "I think about what day it is, sit up, stretch, and take a deep breath."
- "I have a whole morning routine to get me ready for the day. But the first 15-30 minutes consists of the usual—wash face, brush teeth, and my skin routine."
- "We usually eat a variation of oatmeal or scrambled eggs and fruit during the week. Pancakes on the weekends. On this day, we had chia hemp oatmeal with fresh strawberries."
- Twins Soona and Citlali, 18 months, fueling up for the day ahead.
- "The mood is calm, happy, and playful."
- "We don’t do screen-time in the mornings to not get overstimulated so early. The kids start by playing outside for about an hour. Today, in particular, I set up a sensory activity for them which they loved."
- Blissed out in sensory play.
- "After outdoor play they usually play with blocks and puzzles. The kids really enjoy their mornings and I love that they get fresh outdoor time and engage in brain-stimulating activities."
- Kabil, 3, with his finished product.
- Meanwhile, the girls are busy building.
- "We have a set routine every day with room for flexibility, since we have a handful of little people with big emotions. The kids have set things to do every hour and it helps keep things running smoothly and efficiently."
- Already tuckered out.
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"We live in Buckeye, Arizona, just outside of Phoenix. As many know, Arizona’s positive COVID numbers have been going up tremendously and are now the highest in the country."
"Since the state reopened mid-May, my husband went to get a haircut, we visited family twice, all while being cautious. We started eating out once or twice a week (pick-up or drive-thru only) and my sister-in-law took the kiddos to the aquarium for a day trip. This was all before the numbers skyrocketed, so obviously opening up the state was not good."
"I was very hesitant about the aquarium trip, because it would be the first public space the kids went to. But we wanted to test out the waters with what life with COVID in public would be like and figured the kids would really enjoy it after being confined at home for so long. Plus, my sister is a nurse, so we trusted her in making sure to take the proper precautions with mask wearing, hand washing, and keeping hands away from surfaces. We also looked up the aquarium’s protocols and felt okay about the measures they were taking to keep everyone safe and healthy."
- "Once DJ got sick in early June, we went back to a complete home quarantine. We completely cut off family visits again and got groceries delivered via Instacart and through the gracious help of friends and family. Getting sick was so hard. We tried our best to quarantine my husband in our room, but it was difficult. I slept in the big kids' room and dropped off food at the door for him. We tried our best to keep the kids out of the room, we wiped everything down, and used masks when checking up on him since he had a high fever, body aches and shivers, and dealt with shortness of breath."
- "We were still sharing a bathroom at first, so that probably didn’t help, despite cleaning the area every time my husband used it. Slowly, the virus spread to the rest of us, one by one. My father-in-law was out for a week and my mother-in-law and I tried our best to help each other out and manage the kiddos and feed everyone. When it hit both of us, we were both so fatigued, had the worst headaches, and sinus pain with sore throats, but it didn’t hit us as heavily as it did DJ and his dad. After that, the kids all caught a fever for a day or two, one by one, but that was it for them. No other symptoms (that we knew of) other than being incredibly fussy. And thankfully Grandma 'GG' didn’t catch the virus. As soon as we noticed it spreading in the home, we quarantined her in her room, which already has its own bathroom and everything. She was mad, but we often had to remind her that it could be deadly for her, so she needed to stay in her room."
- "We think my husband got the virus from someone at work whom he interacted with who tested positive and who wasn’t wearing a mask." DJ, now thankfully healthy and recovered.
- Just one of many loads of laundry the family will do this week.
- Off to help mama.
- Helping sort...or at least having fun trying.
- "Routine! This has been key for us with managing a handful of little ones and being confined indoors, especially with this heat! We keep mealtimes consistent and fill the in-between times with movement, music, and art. It took me a while, but I had to write down our routines by the hour and print it out and hang it up so I could quickly glance at it and know what’s next when I'm feeling overwhelmed. I’ve been adjusting and fine-tuning it for a while, but I think we finally have a great routine for the age groups our kids are in and the season we are in."
- "I often go on Pinterest for art and sensory play ideas and I keep my mind fresh with mindful parenting tips through books or podcasts. The content is not always parenting related, but I make connections to parenting all the time. Right now I’m reading Permission to Feel by Dr. Marc Brackett, which is a wonderful book about acknowledging our feelings and learning how to practice emotional intelligence to better support ourselves and others. Before COVID, we often took our little ones to my parents once or twice a week for a few hours so my partner and I could work on a house project or catch up on work and so my parents could get one-on-one quality time with the kids. It was really hard at first physically distancing ourselves from them because those few hours of support were a nice break for us, too."
- Vacuum monster, a classic.
- "Because I’m a full-time stay-at-home mama and my partner works outside of the home from 9-5, most of the house responsibilities lie on me. I make breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and take care of chores and the majority of the laundry throughout the day. Once my partner is off from work, he plays with the little ones while I finish making dinner. He gets the kids ready to eat (washes hands, puts babies in high-chairs, gets utensils and drinks, etc.), and we either both clean up afterwards or one of us will clean the kitchen while the other manages the little ones and begins bedtime routines. It varies depending on the day. I put the twins to sleep and he puts the older two to sleep with the exception of my occasional story time, per the kids' requests (I tend to be the more animated storyteller!). Once the kids are in bed, my partner and I both finish cleaning up whatever was overlooked before bedtime routines began and we’ll work on any leftover laundry. It’s a team effort. On the weekends, I take care of most meals and he manages the little ones’ activities. We both clean up the house together and run the same bedtime routines. No laundry on the weekends."
- Ready to rock...
- ...and roll.
- Getting ready for a little FaceTime and story time.
- "We've just finished chores and are going to FaceTime our cousin for story time. I’m feeling really good and refreshed. I love having clean rooms in the morning, so the kids can play and imagine without clutter around them. Plus, I love seeing them help with chores and learn to care for their space. "
- Giving their cousin a little virtual art show.
- The kids prop up their iPad (with their cousin on it) on the bunkbed and let story time begin!
- "Story time is a little tricky with the twins since they are still so little and can’t sit still for long and I am only one person, but they enjoy being in the older kids' room and seeing their cousin, which has been a nice treat for us to connect virtually during this time."
- "The kids are doing their art activity—making popsicle stick houses on cardboard and painting them to compliment one of the stories we read, El Plan, which is an Argetinian version of The Three Little Pigs. For this part of the day we move into the twins' bedroom where there is a hard floor in case we have paint accidents. Plus, the twins can play with their toys here while the older two paint, since the twins are still too little to paint. I’ve tried painting with them before but it gets crazy and we end up having to navigate a few tantrums. So, I try to keep it simple for them. This room is adjacent to the kitchen and has two doors that open wide, so it gives me an opportunity to get lunch started while keeping an eye on the kids as they wrap up what they are doing. This is a good turning point in our day as we prepare for food and naps."
- Busy little hands and minds at work.
- "Lunch time! The kids are ready to eat! They did a little free play in between art and lunch time, which helps release a lot of energy so they can settle down to eat. I really like lunch time. I’ve finally gotten into a good routine with feeding four kids, plus myself. I eat while I clean up, so I can have everything done by the time they’re ready to go down for their naps."
- A little Tapatío hit from grandpa, a.k.a "Bampa."
- "Corn quesadillas, mango, and guacamole. I sneak in a little bit of white sweet potato in the quesadillas to get their veggies in. They can’t even tell, which I love."
- "The twins are down for their nap and it’s quiet time for the older two kids. Usually they quietly play in their room or get some tablet learning time while I get some 'me' time. I love this time of day. I get a break and change out of my comfy morning 'work' clothes into something a little more dressed up but casual for the rest of the day. It’s a good reset for me. And as long as I have all chores done ahead of time, I can get some work done, which consists of editing from the occasional photo job I get. Sometimes I use this time to organize something or work on some sort of home project."
- A beautiful little self-care shrine.
- Some of Perla's beauty favorites by Valentina Beauty, MilkMakeup, and Cocokind.
- Beautiful mama.
- "Setting a foundation for my children to have emotional intelligence, to learn how to problem solve, and to fill them up with lots of love and good memories that will help them be kind, smart, and confident people in this world. I love documenting their joy and learning from them through their innocence, which we often lose sight of as we become adults. It’s truly such a challenging but rewarding experience when we pour our hearts into parenting."
- "What makes me nervous is raising my little ones in a complicated, often toxic world, with limited, dying resources, terrible people in power, hateful, ignorant people who cause harm, and a mainstream media that often distracts us from what’s important. I worry about the trauma my children will confront. Unfortunately, there are some things they can never un-hear, un-see, or un-experience, and although I know enduring adversity can help develop one’s virtues, as a mother it makes me nervous knowing I can’t protect them from every harmful thing that comes their way. But I do have hope that I, along with other parents, can prepare our children to be virtuous people so they can overcome the challenges and I can help support them. It also comforts me knowing despite all the hurt in the world, there is also so much good and beauty and love and wonder that they will experience."
- And...they're up!
- Tandem nursing like a pro.
- "The twins are up and they've nursed. The older two are allowed a movie or show for screen-time or they can join their twin sisters for free play. I make myself some kind of pick-me-up drink to help me finish the day. Lately my go-to has been a cold turmeric milk, which is refreshing and I love its anti-inflammatory properties."
- The tasty finished product.
- Turmeric mustaches all around!
- "This time of day is really cute. The lighting in our home is beautiful and I love seeing the kids play. It’s kind of a weird in-between time without a set activity to do, but sometimes that’s needed."
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"It’s been a mix of feelings. Quarantine itself wasn’t new for me, as I’ve done it every time after giving birth, as we do traditionally in my family for 40 days, so that wasn’t as difficult for us and my little ones. At first, having my oldest daughter come back home full-time was hard, because I was just getting the hang of her school schedule and my routine at home with the other three kids, but I was glad we were all taking the precautions necessary to prevent the spread of the virus as a community."
"I’m definitely sad that we can’t meet up with friends and family like we did before. I’m bummed that many of the usual events we would go to had to get canceled or postponed, but it’s actually been very refreshing to not have to go anywhere. It’s a lot of work to get us all out of the house and manage the little ones while out, so I’ve been appreciative of the slower home life with the current mothering season I’m in."
"This pandemic also gave us a scare with a family member who tested positive in Los Angeles and ended up hospitalized for about two months, so it’s all definitely helped us ground ourselves and remember what’s important in life. I’ve been very grateful for the privileges that we have, like a safe home to shelter in, food, my partner still being able to work, and having the support of my in-laws whom we live with."
- "Yaretzi, my 6-year-old, really enjoyed being home at first, but after a month passed by she really started to miss school and her classmates and kept asking when this coronavirus was gonna be over. She’s cried a few times, but we’ve talked through it and reminded her that we’re all doing our best to keep everyone safe and healthy. The three little ones really have no idea what's going on. They’re used to being home full-time and enjoy it. My 3-year-old had the first quarantine birthday of the family and he had no idea. He was just happy he got Spiderman presents."
- "I’m getting dinner ready. I feel energized and confident in finishing off a good day. The kids are playing and spending time with daddy."
- "We’re having pizza! The kids love pizza, so I’ve been trying to make an effort to make it fresh from home. The kids help me prep the pizzas, which ends up being a special bonding moment. They don’t always help out, but I try to be open to it if they get intrigued and as long as the meal isn’t too complicated. Although I’d like to be quick about dinner and do it myself, I really enjoy the quality time spent together, the kids learning how to prepare food and getting comfortable in the kitchen. Something I really struggled with growing up. My mom often kicked me out of the kitchen because she needed to be efficient with her limited time and I totally get it. But if and when possible, I try to invite the littles here so they can learn."
- Tiny, adorable sous-chefs.
- The impressive kid-assisted meal.
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"I have felt quite overwhelmed, with a whole mix of emotions. I’ve been in this fight for a long time doing anti-racist social justice work for years, that I often found myself feeling discouraged in the past because no matter how you would explain things to people, they wouldn’t get it. They didn't understand institutional racism and they didn’t want to put in the work to educate themselves and would continue with the micro-aggressions because they thought it was harmless."
"But finally the mass public and mainstream media seem to get it after a handful of back-to-back murders coming to light with a strong community pushing through for others to see how deadly White supremacy is. I’m glad Black lives finally matter enough for people to speak out and start learning, but I’m tired. Especially as a mom. And I feel bad that I haven’t been able to contribute to the conversation and the movement as much as I did before in my early twenties before having kids."
"I am reminding myself, though, that the work I do in my home is so important. It’s my job to raise anti-racist children and people who will have the tools to fight against these injustices. My partner and I often say that the revolution starts in the home."
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"As far as action steps I have currently and specifically made for the Black Lives Matter movement, aside from how I raise my children, I’ve signed a handful of petitions and advocated to get protestors out of jail or out of the hands of ICE custody. We’ve donated to different organizations on the frontlines of this work and made a handful of calls to politicians to bring justice to those murdered. I specifically was advocating for the state of Kentucky to pass Breonna's Law and am urging the State Attorney to charge the police who murdered her."
"I’ve shared what I can about anti-Blackness on my platform and have once again had conversations with my parents, in-laws, and siblings about colorism, which in the past were incredibly difficult and cumbersome conversations, but now seem to be productive."
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"Bedtime starts around 6:45 p.m. for us. During the summer we extend actual bedtime until 7:45 p.m. for the babies and 8:30 p.m. for the older two since the sun goes down much later."
"Today the twins have bathtime, change into their pajamas, FaceTime with their Abu and Papa (my parents), nurse, and then go to sleep. While I nurse, Dad gets the older two ready by helping them clean their room, change into their pajamas, and makes sure they brush their teeth. I come back and read them a story, we say prayers, and a kiss goodnight!"
- "I am exhausted! I finish any leftover chores that didn’t get done before our bedtime routine. I have a cart full of what I call 'go backs' (from working in retail years ago) and put those away. I shower, do my nighttime routine, and enjoy a cup of tea while I get myself ready for the next day."
- "Dinner time was really cute. I did not expect for the kids to help me out, honestly. I’m open to it, but it doesn’t always happen. My oldest asked if she could help and then the rest followed. I also loved the spontaneous chore game with Kabil and Lali running away from the vacuum monster."
- "Doing chores. Not because I don’t enjoy them, but because Soona started having a difficult time emotionally and wanted me to hold her. So, I had to do chores one handed. She gets heavy, but I didn’t even think of getting her in a carrier because I was just moving through everything quickly. I do my best to enjoy moments like this since she is so little, but it’s hard especially when the twins physically need me back-to-back. I love that one of my challenging moments turned into a beautiful one when I started vacuuming, though. I also struggled with storytime. The kids got loud and I often had to stop in the middle of the story, so I may just have to rearrange the time that we have story time."
- "I’m looking forward to spending time with family and friends and taking my kids to the Children's Museum and community events where they can connect with the world and have memorable experiences." Keep following along with Perla and her family on Instagram at @xicana_mama and her website ChicanaMama.com.
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This was so lovely. I’m so glad you and your family all recovered from COVID. You are an inspiration.
such a sweet routine. She’s a wonderful mom to her crew <3
Probably my favorite “day in the life” post yet! Feeling so inspired, thank you <3
This was wonderful; so inspiring and moving. She is doing an amazing job, and with such grace and beauty and honesty! I would have loved to hear more about the other members of her multigenerational family and how they fit into her daily routine: it seems she is doing everything on her own, from laundry to cooking to childcare.
This was fabulous!
Thank you for this lovely portrayal of such a beautiful, inspiring, and yet also very relatable family. And what a supermom!! So glad that everyone recovered safely from Covid-19.