Spencer and Kelly’s Pregnancy and Fatherhood Journey: Life As Dads

Written by Erin Feher
11:28 am
10/17/19

PHOTOGRAPHY BY PETER DARNLEY-STUART

Today is bittersweet—it’s our final installment of Spencer and Kelly’s journey through pregnancy and early fatherhood, but at the same time, it’s just the very beginning of a brand-new story for them. They are settling into life as dads to precious little Alexis, and getting to know more about their sweet son with every day that passes (likes include looking at plants, listening to the vacuum, and cuddling with his dads).

This week, the couple invites us back into their home, which is now filled with the coos and cries of baby Lexi. Spencer shares with us his unique postpartum experience—his words about his changed body are honest and kind, and will be relatable to anyone who has birthed a child and struggled to regain focus on their altered shape afterwards. The couple also reflects on their individual upbringings, and how they have shaped the “parental legacy” they hope to leave their son. And we tag along with the new family and their friends to the local market, and to an all-inclusive daytime party called Kooky, where Lexi gets to dance with his dads and meet dozens of queer friends and chosen family who have loved him and supported his dads from the start.

We want to share our sincerest thanks to Spencer and Kelly for agreeing to open up their lives and their highly personal journey to us. And also to all of you who have shared your support and words of encouragement with the couple along the way—for those who live with a constant, underlying fear of hate and judgement, kind and loving words make a huge impact. At MOTHER, we are actively working towards sharing a broader range of parenting experiences, and even to expand and rethink the very definition of the term “mother.” As Spencer said, “By featuring stories like ours, we knit similarities between seemingly unrelated experiences. What we’re left with is a dazzling tapestry showing all the marvelous ways we humans can experience the magic of parenthood.” We welcome your suggestions and recommendations for stories and topics that could help us continue to do just that.

This is part five in a five-part series—if you haven’t already, we invite you to click over to Part One and read their story from the beginning. We also encourage you to share this story with someone you know who may benefit from seeing and truly understanding a different perspective on gender, parenthood, and identity.

Read Part One: The First Trimester, here.

Read Part Two: The Second Trimester, here.

Read Part Three: The Third Trimester, here.

Read Part Four: The Birth! here.

Click through the slideshow below to read Part Five: Life As Dads

Click any image to enter the slideshow

Leave a Comment

13 comments

LB

Oy! I have loved this series so much. Congratulations to them and welcome to the world, little Alexis! You are loved.

Sid

Such a beautiful story, family and baby! Lexi (and his dads) sound like total sweethearts – no wonder they have lots of friends and family eager to support them and babysit :)

Ellen

Congratulations to this beautiful family!

FK

Thank you Spencer, Kelly and Mother magazine for sharing this truly wonderful story. Spencer and Kelly’s nurturing, engaging and thoughtful approach to the experience of parenthood is inspirational and I wish their beautiful family all the best for the future. Alexis is gorgeous!

Sara

I’ve been looking forward to reading this series every week (I otherwise comment on NOTHING online anywhere) and it’s just a beam of incandescent light to see this beautiful family flourish. I’m also pregnant and super hormonal. I wish them the absolute best in support, love, and nourishing the magical soul they brought into the world.

Maddie

Thank you so much for sharing your journey! I have looked forward to reading this every week. The honesty and vulnerability shown by both Spencer and Kelly really bowled me over. So grateful.

Isa

I have, seriously, cleared a space every week to read and dive into every new chapter of this series. It opened me beyond…beyond intellectual ideas and into a real empathy and connection and, well, understanding, I guess. Spencer really struck me as such a capacious and caring individual and Kelly a wonderful partner and dad. Mother is as tech tuned in as I get, but This forum has given me an opportunity to share in the story of two I might never get to meet. This was a different sort of story than you usually get here and I thank you for its depth and humanity.

Bob Merrick

A beautiful story which I thoroughly enjoyed. As a gay man it has given me a lovely insight into the world of a transgender person which I had never perceived before. I loved every minute and I Spencer and Kelly the very best wishes for the future 💗💗💗💗💗

Maria

This has been hands down the best series I’ve read. I thoroughly looked forward to weekly updates, and am grateful to Kelly and Spencer for being so vulnerable, and sharing this very intimate journey with us.

Michelle

Thank you for sharing your beautiful story with us! I have been waiting with baited breath for each week’s installment. All I can think about is my motto as a birth worker… “Everything from love.”

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